cassian andor (inthisfight) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2018-08-26 16:16:00 |
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Although normally reserved and laid back, Collin Rojas had spent the past 24 hours so keyed up he could barely sit still. The already long flight had felt three times as long, even with his sisters for company and even as they were being led to their brother at last, he couldn’t seem to shake that nervous excitement he’d been feeling ever since getting the call that confirmed what he’d been saying for 3 years.
Stepping into the room, Collin wasted no time in crossing it to pull his twin into a fiercehug. There were tears in his eyes as he embraced the man tightly. “Lo sabía, hermano. Sabía que estabas vivo,” he whispered without letting go for a long moment.
Caley still wasn’t sure how to react, how to feel, what to do or what she should say. She was standing to the side with her arms wrapped around her doing her best to stay out of the way. It felt like a dream, it was almost exactly like so many dreams she’d had before of finding her brother and him being alive and well.
Here they were walking in and Caley was to the side letting Colin take the lead, it was his twin after all. She didn’t want to barge in so stayed where so was with tears running down her face.
Isaac was nervous although he had no reason to be. This was his family and they had thought him dead for three years. He was still trying to process everything as memories came back but as soon as he saw them and Collin embraced him, he let go. He was crying and not the least bit ashamed and when he pulled back, he looked over at Caley and walked over to her and pulled her into a hug.
“I can’t believe this is real,” he said when he pulled back, wiping tears from his eyes. “I’m so happy to see you all. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through.” It wasn’t his fault of course but he still felt as if he should have remembered sooner or remembered more since there were still small pockets of time that he had no recall about.
When Fred got the call that Isaac was alive, she’d nearly dropped the phone. She couldn’t believe it, but it had been something she’d always held out hope that one day he’d show up again. Now he had, and it was hard to really believe it until she held onto him in a tight hug after the others had. Isaac may not have been her full sibling by blood, but he was still family.
She wiped a couple tears that started to fall and wrapped an arm around Caley’s shoulders when she stood next to her. “What we’ve gone through?” Fred shook her head with a small smile. “I don’t think that compares to what you’ve had to go through over the last three years.”
“You’re here now,” Collin reassured his brother. “That’s what is important.” He’d stepped back to give his sisters a chance to embrace their formerly lost brother, but now he took a step closer again to lay a hand on his shoulder. “We’re just so relieved that you’re alive, brother. You don’t have anything to apologize for.”
There was so much that still didn’t feel real, especially the hug, it felt exactly how she remembered but it still felt like it was a completely different world, a mystery. She had tears on her face as he pulled away and she still didn’t find her voice, she smiled and nodded but words didn’t come.
Leaning into Fred she looked between her brothers and nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you’re here, that’s what really matters.” She had a lot of questions but she didn’t even know where to start, or even if she should start.
Isaac gazed at them in wonder, his family and it suddenly hit him that there was something slightly off. “Dellie isn’t with you?” he asked. She could have gotten another flight or maybe she had decided to wait until he got home although that certainly wasn’t like her. There had to be a reason that she wasn’t here.
Fred looked between the others and wasn’t sure how to answer his question about his wife. Former wife? They weren’t exactly exes since they’d all thought he’d died. So… what were they now? “I think she might have gone out of town for the weekend,” she answered, thinking she’d heard one of the others mention she’d left on short trip with Noah. He’d been gone for so long, and it was hard to think of a way to explain how things weren’t the same as how he remembered them.
Collin nodded at Fred’s explanation. “I tried reaching her, but I think she’s out of cell phone range,” he added. There was more to it than that, of course, but he would explain it to Isaac later, at least enough to prepare him for that fact that his wife had moved on with her life in his absence. He had the feeling that was a conversation best had over a few strong drinks.
Caley had to look away when Isaac asked about Dellie. She wasn’t very good at lying and she always did feel too deeply. She just nodded along with Collin and Fred that maybe she was just gone somewhere for the weekend. Caley looked at Fred wondering if they should leave and let Collin explain everything.
“Oh I see,” Isaac was disappointed but it wasn’t as if she could have known that he was going to turn up alive. “Well I guess i’ll see her when we get home.”
Noticing that the tone and mood of the room had changed a bit, and also knowing why it had changed, Fred gave a small smile to Caley and nodded. “You know what, I have an idea. Let’s let these two catch up while you and I go make us all up some dinner.” Fred looked around to the others and then stepped over for another hug with Isaac. She held on and squeezed tightly, kissing him on the cheek as she pulled away. “We’ll make your favorites,” she said and started towards the door to leave.
Caley smiled at Fred’s suggestion and followed in giving Isaac another hug before following Fred out the door. “All your favorites!” She added with a small smile before disappearing.
When their sisters had gone, Isaac looked at Collin, wondering why they had left so abruptly. He sat down and watched his twin’s face, trying to gauge what was going on. They’d always been able to read one another and while he couldn’t put his finger on an exact reason, isaac knew there was something he hadn’t been told.
“What is it?” he finally asked. “Sit down and tell me. I know there’s something but I can’t figure out what it is. I have no idea what’s been going on with any of you for the last three years so I don’t even know where to start.”
After flashing his sisters a quick, grateful look, Collin nodded. He knew Isaac would find out eventually and he thought it might be better to warn him before he saw his wife. Ex-wife. Whatever the hell they were supposed to call her now.
There wasn’t an easy way to say it, so maybe it was better to rip off the bandaid.
“Isaac, Dellie is seeing someone...” he began.
Isaac stared at his brother, not believing what he’d just heard. It made sense though, they had declared him dead and she was beautiful and amazing and she didn’t need to spend the rest of her life alone.
That didn’t mean that it hurt any less though. “Dellie is seeing someone.” he said slowly as he continued to process the information. “How long? Not that it matters really, you were all told I was dead, I guess I just…..I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” he ran a hand through his hair which had grown longer over the last month or so and he needed a haircut but all he wanted to do was go home. To his family. Dellie, who had someone else in her life now.
Collin didn’t know how to directly answer that question. He knew Dellie and Noah had been friends for a while, but she’d only recently moved in with him and he wasn’t sure how long before that something had starter between them.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “I know she waited for a while. She didn’t want to believe you were really gone. Neither did I. But when months turned into years...” He trailed off. Isaac probably didn’t need to hear the conclusion.
“I can’t blame her,” he said. “Especially if there was no hope. When I remembered everything, I hoped…….well I hoped that she’d waited. Even though I knew that wasn’t realistic. Who is it? Do I know him?”
“Do you remember Noah Blake?” He’d been in the year ahead of them in school, but high school was a long time ago. Collin hadn’t known him well, but they’d run into each other a few times after Rose started getting to know him and he thought he seemed like a good guy.
Isaac thought for a moment and then it came to him. “I do remember him. He was on the archery team of all things. I thought that was the weirdest thing,” he shook his head. “We weren’t friends or anything but I’m sure if he was an asshole, you would have said something to Dellie even if I was dead because you care about her too. I would have done that if our situations were reversed.”
Laughing, Collin shook his head. “No, he’s not. He seems like a good guy,” he admitted. “He seems to care about her and she seems happy with him.” Whether that made it better or worse, he wasn’t sure. This whole situation was pretty messed up.
It hurt to think of Dellie with someone else, the idea of seeing her again was one of the things that had motivated him once he remembered who he was. “I want her to be happy,” he said. “She deserves that and if he makes her happy then what can I say? I’ll always love her, I can’t stop loving her, but I can’t blame her for moving on either.”
Isaac’s words didn’t surprise Collin and he nodded, reaching over and gripping his brother’s forearm. “Come on, let’s go see if we can help the girls with dinner.”
“Isaac.” Dellie didn’t know what to say, where to begin after the years of thinking he was gone, but there was a world of emotion even in that one word. What the hell did you say to your husband who was suddenly back from the dead? Especially when you’d moved on and found happiness with someone new. But then how could she be anything less than thrilled to see him standing here? Alive. He looked pretty healthy, too, save the limp. She stood there, watching him from across the room, unsure as to whether she should hug him or even get any closer. She knew Collin had told him about Noah and she honestly didn’t know what he even wanted from her. He could be angry and she wouldn’t blame him, so she stood there and waited for him to say or do something.
She was still as beautiful as he remembered. He’d always wondered why it had taken him so long to notice her even though Breckentale wasn’t a big town. Now though he had no idea what to say. He knew she’d moved on and he couldn’t blame her because they had all thought he was dead and he didn’t even remember a lot about the last three years anyway. It was enough to just see her for now, to remember that she was real and not a dream. Without hesitation he walked over and put his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace. “I’m glad to see you, Dellie,” he said softly.
There was no hesitation before Dellie was returning the embrace, hugging him tightly. Maybe she’d moved on with Noah, but that didn’t mean her feelings for Isaac had vanished. There was a part of her that still loved him, that would always love him. It was an impossible situation and she honestly didn’t want to think about what the fuck she was supposed to do with a boyfriend she loved and a husband back from the dead. For the moment, she pushed aside the knowledge that she’d have to make some kind of decisions and just sank into his embrace. Moments later when she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re-” Dellie couldn’t finish her sentence. She just looked up at him and shook her head, smiling despite her years.
Isaac touched her cheek and wiped away a tear, not bothering to hide his own tears. “I know,” he said. “I can’t believe it myself. I had no idea who I was or where I was. It was the strangest feeling.” He didn’t know if he should bring up what Collin had told him but it was something they would have to talk about. Right now now though, he was just happy to be here with her again. “There was a nurse at the rehab center where they sent me, she reminded me of you, that was what started it. I couldn’t put a name to the face but I knew that whoever I was thinking of was important to me. Then I was at a devotional meeting, they made us go and they were reading about a man named Isaac and it was like a light bulb came on in my head. The doctor said it happens that was sometimes, little things will trigger the memory.”
It wasn’t hard to identify the sick feeling in her stomach as guilt when Isaac admitted his first hint of a memory had been about her. Collin had never believed he was really gone, but Dellie - eventually she’d accepted he wasn’t coming back. She couldn’t help feeling like she’d betrayed him now in giving up on him while he’d been halfway around the world trying to remember who he even was. “They told us you were [...] gone,” she said when she spoke again. It felt like she was making excuses. It also felt like there were no excuses. Logically, she knew that wasn’t true, but there was some part of her that thought she just should have known. “I’m sorry,” she added. “I should have known better.”
He shook his head and brushed back her hair, “You have nothing to be sorry for, Dellie,” he told her. “You aren’t clairvoyant, how would you know? They told me that there was very little left of the helicopter, there was no reason to think anyone survived.” He’d been told that the aircraft had been shot down, broken in half and he along with another man had been in the back. As far as he knew, they never found him or maybe someone had, after all, they had found him. “I wouldn’t have expected you to just wait and hope and not live your life. I would never want that for you.” It wasn’t easy to say the words, knowing that she’d moved on but he meant them.
“Collin knew,” she argued softly. She didn’t want him to absolve her of her guilt here. Maybe she did, actually, but she couldn’t help still feeling it, like she should have done something differently, despite the fact that she did love Noah and couldn’t imagine not having him in her life. “He never believed you were gone, not really. Everyone thought he was crazy. I shouldn’t have- I should have believed him.” Collin had felt it somehow and she kept thinking she should have, too. Somehow, she should have known he was still alive. She should have felt it.
“He’s my twin. We’ve always been able to sense things about each other. Our mother used to tell us that all the time. It’s common with twins, I’m told, particularly identical ones.” and there was no doubt that Collin and Isaac were identical. “I just knew there was someone out there somewhere, I didn’t know who or where.” Should she have felt it? Isaac didn’t know. It was too much to ask of any person especially when there was no hope. “I was alive but there was no way for anyone to know that I’d ever regain my memory. I didn’t think I would.”
“But you did,” she pointed out, “and you’re home now.” That felt like stating the obvious, but she was kind of trying to avoid the elephant in the room. Knowing Collin had told him about Noah didn’t mean she was especially anxious to have that conversation. How did you tell the love of your life that you’d fallen in love with someone else while he was presumed dead, even when he already kind of knew it? “So, what happens now?”
It was a good question and Isaac had no idea how to answer it. He was glad that Collin had told him so that he didn’t make a fool out of himself but he knew that he couldn’t ask her to walk away from something that made her happy. “I don’t know what happens now,” he said. “I want us to be honest with each other and right now I’m still adjusting to being home but I still love you, I know that much and part of me always will. You thought I was dead and there wasn’t anything to make you think differently so I’ve no right to ask you to come back to me. I want to be part of your life, Dellie, I can’t imagine not being part of your life in some way even if we’re just friends.” Saying those words...just friends..hurt but he tried not to let her see that..It would take time to get used to it but he could do it.
“I still love you, too, Isaac, but I don’t think it’s that simple anymore,” she admitted. Once it had seemed like love was all that was needed to keep them together, but that was before she’d found herself in love with two men. “There is someone you need to meet, though, no matter what happens between us.” It was probably kind of cheating to bring up their son, but even if she was partly trying to avoid figuring things out, it was true that he did need to get to know the son he’d never met.
He didn’t say it but Isaac hoped she wasn’t about to introduce her to Noah. He needed time to deal with that before he came face to face with him but something told him from the look on her face that that wasn’t it. “Who is it?” he asked with a little smile. Dellie always liked dramatic introductions.
“Come on,” Dellie said with a sly smile on her face as she took his hand and led him to where their son was sleeping.
Isaac had no idea what to expect when they walked into the room but when he saw the child sleeping there, he ran a hand through his hair and looked at her in surprise.
“You...I….we…..you were pregnant? When I left? You didn’t know?” He wasn’t making a lot of sense but he knew that she’d known she was pregnant, she would have told him. Isaac gazed at his son in wonder, the little boy who looked so much like him but had Dellie’s eyes. “What’s his name?”
“Collin didn’t tell you?” Dellie had been out of cell phone range when the news had come in, but by now she knew Isaac’s family had gone to bring him home and she thought his brother, at least, would have told him he had a son. Dellie, herself, had never gotten the chance.
“I found out after,” she explained quietly, looking at Ivan for a moment before forcing herself to look at Isaac again. “I never got the chance to tell you...” She didn’t think she needed to tell him why. They both knew what had happened early into his deployment. “Surprise, it’s a boy,” she quipped, always finding it easier to joke than to talk seriously. “I named him Ivan.”
“No, he didn’t tell me. I guess he thought maybe you should do it,” Isaac reached out and touched her hand without thinking. “Ivan. You remembered.” Ivan had been a good friend of his, an exchange student from Russia who had lived in Breckentale for two years. Next to his brother, he had been Isaac’s closest friend. Ivan had died in a plane crash on his way home for Christmas their senior year. “I always wanted to name my son after him. Thank you.” he looked up at her, tears shining in his eyes. “Does he know about me at all? “
Dellie nodded an answer to both his question and his reaction to the name. “He does. Of course he does. I think he’s too young to really understand why you haven’t been around, but we’ve all told him so many stories about you. I’d always planned to tell him the rest - what happened to you - when he was old enough to get it.” Smiling through tears of her own, she squeezed his hand.
He returned the gesture, trying his best not to give into impulse and kiss her. She was still his wife after all but it had been three years so did he have the right to do that. Instead, he turned to face her and gently kissed her forehead. “Then I won’t be a complete stranger to him although he might think he’s seeing double and think I’m his uncle,” he laughed and moved slightly away from her. “I’m glad that I have the chance to get to know him. To be able to tell him the story in person when he’s old enough.” Although he didn’t say it, Isaac wasn’t sure when he would be able to tell anyone the whole story. Despite the therapy he’d undergone both psychological and physical, talking about the past three years wasn’t easy for him.
Dellie nodded. Things might be different between her and Isaac now and she might be confused about what she wanted now that he was back, but one thing she absolutely knew was that she wanted him in Ivan’s life - and in hers - no matter what else happened.
Noah parked his motorcycle in its usual spot and looked at the house he shared with Dellie and Ivan. He couldn’t help but wonder if that would be changing soon but he pushed the thought aside. When Dellie had told him that Isaac was coming over and she was going to introduce him to Ivan, he’d immediately offered to leave. He could have gone elsewhere in the house but it would be easier if he wasn’t there.Isaac deserved to meet his son without his wife’s boyfriend hanging around. It wasn’t that simple though and Noah shook his head. There was a lot to talk about but first he needed to know what had happened. Dellie had sent him a text to let him know that Isaac was gone and he’d turned the bike around and headed home. Taking off his helmet, he climbed off the bike and walked to the door and let himself in. “Dellie?” he called, wondering where she was.
After promising Isaac they’d work out some kind of custody arrangement, Dellie had gotten her mom to pick up Ivan for the night. She figured he could use a little spoiling from his grandma and she knew she and Noah needed a little time alone. After she was alone in the house, she’d texted Noah, knowing he probably hadn’t gone far and would be back soon once she let him know the coast was clear.
“I’m in here,” she called from the kitchen where she was helping herself to a large bowl of ice cream.
When he got to the kitchen and saw her eating ice cream, Noah couldn’t help but smile. “Well at least this is normal,” he said. “You should have had me pick up another gallon. Or maybe two.” Walking over, he kissed her cheek and sat down at the table next to her.
“How are you doing?” he asked.
Dellie shrugged. She’d never been someone to talk much about her feelings or things that bothered her. She didn’t exactly hide from her problems, but she was a lot better at doing something about them than the whole deep conversations thing. “I’m okay.” she said, knowing he’d probably call bullshit on that. “I thought we could use a little us time, so Ivan’s at my mom’s til tomorrow.”
“That sounds good,” he replied, getting up to get a spoon then returning to his seat and taking a spoonful of ice cream from the container. “You’re not okay so don’t give me that. How could you possibly be okay? I’m not okay but for tonight we won’t think about it. Agreed? There’s a lot to talk about but we don’t have to do right away.” While he didn’t know Isaac that well, Noah had a feeling that he’d say the same thing. Sometimes even the best news could be hard to work through.
Dellie shrugged again. “Works for me.” Talking about if wasn’t something she really wanted to do. She was still processing the fact that Isaac was alive and home after all this time. Wrapping her head around the fact that she still loved him but that she also loved Noah wasn’t easy and she had no idea what the hell she was supposed to do with any of it. She knew it was something they needed to talk about, but right now she had no idea what to even say.
“I scared a Freshman today,” Noah said, taking another spoonful of ice cream. “I came out of the gym wearing my leathers with my bow and arrow. Poor kid nearly crapped himself.”
Dellie’s laugh came out more like a snort and she almost inhaled some of the ice cream she’d been eating. “That’s mean,” she told him, but she was still laughing. Mean or not, it was also fucking hilarious.
“Yeah I know but I didn’t know he was going to be standing there. It was the back door by the locker room and most people don’t even know it’s there. I think he was lost. I was nice enough to help him find his way though so hopefully he won’t go around telling everyone about the physco with the bow and arrow.” It wouldn’t be the first time Noah had made someone wonder just why he was so fascinated by archery.
Dellie laughed again and shook her head. The laughing felt good and she was grateful for the distraction, even if she couldn’t entirely forget about how confusing life had gotten all of a sudden.
Despite not wanting to talk about it or think about it, she looked at him a little more seriously for a moment. “I love you,” she said. It wasn’t something she put into words very often, but she meant it. “I still.. I don’t know what’s going to happen now that Isaac’s back or what.. I have a lot to figure out, but I do know that I love you and that’s one thing that isn’t going to change.”
Noah reached for her and pulled her into his lap. “I love you too,” he said, stroking her hair. “And I know you’ve got a lot to think through and take all the time you need. I can stay with one of my sisters for a while, having me here all the time might be confusing for Ivan and he needs to get to know his father.” That was the only thing that Noah was sure about. He loved the little boy and he’d always felt bad that he’d never know Isaac. The town was small enough that even though they weren’t friends, Noah knew Isaac and his family and he knew they’d all taken it hard when they were told Isaac was presumed dead. “You and Ivan are the most important things in my life but you have to make the choice that’s right for both of you, whatever that is. No matter what, I’ll always be here. I was your friend first and I’ll still be your friend when it’s all said and done.”
Rose shook her head. “This is going to sound really selfish, but I don’t want you to go anywhere. Isaac and I can work out some kind of visitation [...] thing, but Ivan’s used to having you around now. We both are. Plus, you know, this is your house. I’d feel super weird living here without you.” And selfish as it was, she just wanted him to stay.
He kissed softly and nodded. “Okay then, I’ll stay,” she really didn’t have to try very hard to convince him, he hadn’t wanted to leave but he also wanted to give Dellie the time she needed without his presence influencing her. “And just to avoid the awkward, I can make myself scarce when Isaac comes over. Whatever the two of you decide, I will support you, okay? No matter what.”
Rose nodded. She had no idea what the hell she was going to do next, but she was glad to know she had Noah’s support no matter what.