This mission couldn't have come at a better time. Between all of the shit that was still rumbling around in her head leftover from a few months ago to the new look-a-like showing up flirting with everything in sight and the awkward few days before she left for the mission, Octavia was more than grateful for the reprieve of normal life in Atlantis. At her center, she was a warrior. Not a queen or assistant no matter how skilled she was at either, and she sometimes had doubts about both. It also gave her the chance to ignore the awkward shitfest that was her personal life. Life on the ground had been life or death all of the time, but it was also much more black or white.
While she was gone, she might not have gone full throttle into warrior mode, but she did feel more like herself. Conflicting memories had spurred up this side of her over the last few months and caused her to become a bit restless. As far as day-to-day living, her life had been fairly easy lately compared to the alternative and while she was glad not to have to constantly fight for survival anymore, it was also a large part of who she was and how life on the ground had molded her into the person she was today. She had a couple of ideas she discussed with Bianca that they'd need to run by Becker and Sharon once they got back, but Octavia thought that might help both of them feel more engaged rather than simply training and staying back at the base for most of the missions that were sent out each month.
The couple of days prior to coming back home, Octavia had trouble deciding whether or not she was looking forward to it or dreading it. The easygoing friendships she had with two people in particular had turned awkward and far from easygoing shortly before she'd left for the mission. Becker was being…. well, Becker about waking her up with the kiss, and she didn't even know what was going on with Cappie. For a moment, she could have sworn he was jealous, but that sounded insane, right? She'd figure out how to talk to Cappie eventually, but her mind was more so on how to approach Becker. She'd tried ignoring her feelings for a long time, long before she ever had the memory upgrade and aged six years overnight. She knew that it would never develop into anything else, and she was fine with that.
She'd half expected her feelings to go away, but they never had. Then a kid had shown up, she got her memories, Lincoln showed up, and then the sleeping spell happened. Between the post from Regina and Cappie putting thoughts into her head, she wasn't sure what to think anymore in spite of Becker's reaction to get the hell out as soon as he could. He either didn't want her to think it meant more than just a kiss to wake her up from her deep sleep, or he was embarrassed about something else that meant more. She couldn't read his signals because they were all over the place, and frankly, she didn't want to have to read signals at all. Like life on the ground was black and white, she wanted to get straight to the point rather than dancing around it any longer. But Octavia was tired of mixed signals and second-guessing herself. If there was nothing there, there was nothing there, and that would be the end of it. She could handle it and move on.
The day she returned to Atlantis, Octavia didn't go to the base right away like she normally would have. Instead, she headed back to the apartment for something to eat and a long shower. About the time she was finished and back in her regular clothes, she heard someone out in the common room. One look out the door and she saw Becker in the kitchen getting something out of the fridge. The sound of her door opening must have made enough noise to catch his attention because he turned around.
"Welcome back," he said as a greeting, and without much thought in her mind, Octavia strode over towards him. Awkward greetings and mixed signals from either she or him be damned. She was Okteivia kom Skaikru. Skairipa. Osleya. She was Blodreina. If she wanted an answer, she was going to get one.
"I didn't see that you had checked in at the—"
Cutting him off, Octavia hadn't stopped moving until she was standing right in front of him. There was only a brief pause before she completely closed the distance and kissed him. It wasn't chaste or a simple kiss to wake someone up from a sleeping state. It was a full-on, intense, hands in new places type of kiss. She gripped his t-shirt with one hand even as she pulled back, still standing close and looked straight into his eyes.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time. If this is all it ever is then that's fine, we'll both forget about it and go back to the way things were, but I needed to do it." She nearly added a 'ball's in your court' tag to the end but instead stood there for a moment or so longer, almost frozen in place. "I've got a report to write up," she said and a second or so later finally let go of his shirt and stepped back as she started towards the front door.
Blinking, he tried to find his voice as she said something about time and reports and was moving towards the door. “Blake.” He called out almost too late but watched as she paused looking back at him. “I-” He cleared his throat as he blinked rapidly.
“You can’t-” Words were really not working for him as he took a couple of steps towards her. “You’re not supposed to walk away.” Was what eventually came out.
Octavia knew it probably wasn't fair of her to just walk away, but hey, he did the same thing to her. Under completely different circumstances but whatever. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to look at him.
The look on his face was almost comical if she'd been able to find humor in this at all. She took a single step forward back in his direction.
“I was following your example,” she said with a raised brow. “What am I supposed to do then?”
Fuck, he didn’t have an answer, and he did sort of leave abruptly. “You were asleep.” As if that was the right answer, or made any sense. “You probably wanted some time to wake up,” Becker said even though he knew it was a weak thing to say.
“I,” damn he was really bad at this stuff. “That,” he said pointing backwards. “Was very different.”
“It's not like I woke up from a nap, Becker. You kissed me awake after believing it was supposed to be some ‘true love’ kiss and then you left out of there like there was a fire. You both did. What was I supposed to think? Either kissing me was so horrible or there's something else you're not telling me one way or another.”
As she stood there, she could practically feel her heart pounding in her chest. No matter her past, relationships were relatively new for her, especially the talking things out portion. For the most part, she had no idea what she was doing.
Octavia crossed her arms and just looked at him as he stammered out his reply. “Really? That's it? Different?” She shrugged. “Maybe it was but it also left little room for misinterpretation.”
She had a point and Becker knew it. “I couldn’t just leave you asleep,” he said as if that were the most logical thing in the world. He didn’t add the fact that he’d said he’d do it because he didn’t want to see Cappie kiss her.
“There is something,” he waved a hand between them. “And, well, there is.” He nodded his head trying to shake himself out of the confusion and the fact that it wasn’t like he could hide behind his title or his job anymore. “Something here.”
There is something. Octavia wasn't sure if she actually expected him to say something along those lines or not. She wouldn't have been shocked if he'd told her the opposite and that he was her roommate and friend but that it ended there. He might have been able to read some of the surprise on her face, but she didn't say anything, only uncrossing her arms and shifting in place.
“Oh.” Now she was the one short on what to say. She hadn't really given much thought as to what she'd do once he had the chance to give some sort of answer. She'd been too preoccupied with deciding whether or not she was going to step up and make the move or not.
“Okay,” she said slowly and took a small step forward. She was still standing in the the middle of the main room but closer to him than the door. “What are you gonna do about it?”
One of those rare moments he wished he was more forward when it came to these kinds of situations, but he wasn’t. He prided himself on being respectful and not well… anything not respectful.
“I think the question is what are we going to do about it.” He said taking a half step closer towards her.
It was small, but there was the hint of a smirk that showed on her face. The fact that he said anything like that at all was more than she probably expected. “I think I already showed you a piece of what I'd do about it,” she said slyly. A few more steps forward and she was back to standing in front of him again.
“I mean, I guess I could always show you again to make sure you got all of it.” She shrugged her shoulders but it there was a playful tone to her words this time. “Unless you had any other ideas you want to share.”
Becker nodded feeling a little bit better about the whole thing, although still terribly unsure. “I think that is a good place to start.” He said with a small awkward smile. “If you are willing to show me again.”
Being a little bit more forward he did sneak a hand around her waist.
The arm around her waist was the all clear signal as far as she was concerned, so she leaned into him and rested a hand on his arm. “Let’s see if I remember exactly how it went,” she said and after a moment kissed him again. The kiss held more intensity since he wasn’t an unsuspecting participant this time around, and she amped it up a little more when she felt him tighten his hold of her around her waist.
She didn’t know about him, but for Octavia this had been a hell of a long time coming, so she wasn’t pulling any punches now that it was actually happening. It was only when she needed to catch her breath that she pulled away and looked at him with a smirk. “Does that help?”
Becker knew it was dangerous, letting himself go, but he held some comfort in the fact that he trusted Octavia and knew they both clearly had some of the same feelings it was clearing in the way they held onto each other, the intensity of it.
“It’s a start.” He told her not giving her time to respond before bending down again pausing for just a moment. “Your report can wait.”