Most urgent tidings indeed, Dear Reader! It would appear that stripes have unexpectedly come back into fashion under a most alarming series of circumstances!
But before you race to Bond Street, it is This Author's unhappy duty to inform you that you should rather lock your doors! For the trend-setter in our midst is not human, and bristling with more claws than any Ambitious Mama.
Those of you who have yet to patronize the half-finished streets of Sanditon may count yourselves the lucky few. Every gentleman and lady caught outside unprotected in the coming days will surely have their mettle tested, if not tasted.
How many Parker brothers does it take to catch a tiger by the tail? Certainly more than it may take to sink a prospect!