Even after having said it all aloud a part of Spike found himself actually surprised at just how much had changed. For a hundred and twenty years he had been the Big Bad, yet after a month with her everything was so different. Different and amazing. He had never thought, never dreamed, it possible to be anything more than the monster he once was. Oh he had loved Dru, had enjoyed a lot that the world had to offer, yet that man felt so distant now. Instead of the monster he had become something else, a man who actually sought to do the right thing. Spike didn't give a shit about atonement or redemption. No, none of that meant a damn thing to him. But Buffy, she was the light he longed to draw near too.
Before the soul it had been such a struggle; working so bloody hard to keep the demon in check. Yet now that struggle had ceased and things just felt so simpler. Granted even Spike knew that he should've been an emotional mess, however the bleached blond vamp had a hundred years in hell to sort through all the guilt and shame. Sure his time there was...well it was hell. Still even that place hadn't managed to break him.
What almost did break him at last was the thought of losing her, but her she was; sitting beside him touching his hand. Memories or not this was the same woman. The one he'd do anything for, if only to see her smile. "Nothing to be sorry about, love. Ya gave me a chance at being more...more than a monster. Gave me the chance to actually belong, and be loved."
His gaze softened as that smile of his returned, and when she spoke up and offered to help him through it all Spike just shook his head a little before moving to kneel before her. His hands moved to hers, cool fingers resting upon her warm one, and as he looked into her eyes Spike found himself unable to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. "Don't need anything else in this whole bloody world but you, love. So let me help ya get through all this mess. Know it's confusing, and I know I ain't him...but for you, for you I'd be anything, Buffy."