"You couldn't risk it, but I knew how badly ya wanted it...so I told the poof to try it on me first. You were so bloody pissed, but since the sunshine boy didn't like vamps he had no problem giving it a shot. Burned so bad, inside and out, but in the end he pulled it off just fine. Got my soul shoved into me, and you got real hope that we could help ya get your ex back to his old self again." A soft chuckle escaped the vampire as his hand moved to rest on his chest, fingers brushing just over his sternum as Spike remembered it now.
"I was out of it for a bit, all those bloody memories and guilt tearing into me...but you...ya took care of me and I knew things would be okay. Hadn't counted on being killed in my sleep though." Spike shuddered as a dark look swept across his face and his whole body trembled slightly. "Some nightmare monster was killing people all over town, and got me too. One sec I was lying in bed and the next I was in hell, or a hell dimension I guess. Was there for only a week as far as you lot were concerned, but for me...well it was closer to a century. All that time fighting to survive, struggling to keep a step ahead of the demons that lived there...fuck it, it really was Hell. Still I kept on going, kept forcing myself on even years after I knew you and Faith had already been dead and buried. A hundred sodding years..."
His fists clenched and unclenched over and over again, as Spike's mind reeled at all that he had seen there. Yet it was the warmth of her sitting beside him that eventually pulled the vamp free from those thoughts. "Got dumped back into this world a week ago, starving and half mad. But again it was you that pulled me back to sanity, you that helped me get better...then when I awoke you were gone...yet here ya are again, love. So that's, that is the what of it all."