InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Enjoy!"

Spark (Hizumi Mizushiro) (devilishfiend) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2011-12-05 01:26:00

Entry tags:

!days 290-299, dean winchester, fay d. flourite, hizumi mizushiro, lelouch lamperouge, rokujou miharu, rory pond, tazendra, uchiha itachi, yoi-te

Who: Lyvus and visitors
Where: Lyvress
When: Day 295, post-game
What: after game cuddlepile

[Four revived-but-not-completely-healed Corvi and a bitten-but-not-bleeding survived Lynx coming back from the Arena. Everything is terrible and everything hurts, but at least we got memories.]

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	zeromemories 2011-12-05 05:28 am UTC (link)
	[I think it's pretty funny] [pulling back well before Dean would start to get dizzy, taking a steadying breath of his own] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 05:38 am UTC (link)
	[okay. and. going to get something to wrap his arm in, a little bit sluggish but nothing too bad] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 05:39 am UTC (link)
	[another deep breath, looking much better] Thank you. . . . was Swift what you had wanted to talk about, or—? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 05:41 am UTC (link)
	[wraaaaapping his arm and not looking at] Nah, actually... has to do with me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 05:46 am UTC (link)
	Let's hear it, then. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 06:05 am UTC (link)
	... so something I remember before Foreman... s'why I keep saying I'm a ticking timebomb, y'know. And since not telling y'all would make me a goddamned hypocrite... Gonna start with you here. Figure out how to tell the others... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 06:08 am UTC (link)
	Yes? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sonuva_gun
2011-12-05 06:12 am UTC (link)

[arms are getting crossed now, very clearly a defensive, nervous posture but what the hell 8(]

Them bringin' home a memory's kinda also why I'm bringing it up. since...

[wait. stopping. starting over]

So, you know my world's... facing down the Apocalypse n'all. Well. I'm gonna remember dealing with angels, demons... maybe Lucifer himself. Either way, got a memory where I was talking with an angel... got his feathers all ruffled and fluffed but good.

Then he came out with the whole showing him respect thing... 'cause since he pulled me... outta Hell. He could throw me back. Down there.

[trying to be. reeeeal casual here]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 06:15 am UTC (link)
	[just listening, gaze even] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sonuva_gun
2011-12-05 06:19 am UTC (link)

[no no no. that should be all the explanation needed. rubbing at face, stiiiill not looking at]

Any one of 'em... could be it. I mean. When he said that... it wasn't just him trying to psyche me out. It was the truth. And I know I was down there at least long enough that... I shouldn't've been able to been taken out. Shouldn't've been saved.

So I dunno how I'm gonna react. If I get that memory. Think the Judges are fuckin' sadists because I'm sure as hell that my life's shitty enough that what crap I've already remembered is the tip of the iceburg--

[stopping again. this is babbling, huh]

Anyway. Just. So you know. I told Brass as soon as I realized, but. Foreman thing and. Stuff.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 06:22 am UTC (link)
	So you could essentially be taken out of commission by being forced to relive that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sonuva_gun
2011-12-05 06:26 am UTC (link)

More than out of commission.

... I was able to recover before. [--snorts] "Recovery", anyway. When I first woke up and had that memory of the Trickster killing me over and over again, Jace had a look-see and... damage is bad. Hell if I know why I'm even...

But yeah.

And I don't think. It'd be a good idea to do things the way people here are used to for fixin' that sorta thing.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 06:28 am UTC (link)
	I take your meaning. But you were pulled out, weren't you? You were fine after that, theoretically. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sonuva_gun
2011-12-05 06:35 am UTC (link)

...

You're a person in Hell. You've been there long enough, you don't see a way out. Maybe you even stop thinking about one. And then out of every single soul in Hell--and trust me, in my world? Even honest people who say, murdered a person in order to save another--suicidal person who was escaping a bad situation--those types could down there, mixed with all the worst of humanity. And then you've got the demons... and torture... and out of all of those souls, yours is the one the angels choose to save.

How would you feel, knowing that? Knowing that... you and your brother're stuck trying to stop Judgement Day. And even after all that, you're fucking told that the one way to put Lucifer back in his cage is to put your brother in that place.

I'm not fine, Royal. Never was. I just forgot why that was. I was barely holding it together in those few later memories I got--hell, I can even tell I was functioning only because I wasn't fucking sober. Being in this place... probably's seen me be the driest I've been since who the hell knows?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 06:46 am UTC (link)
	[quiet, turning that over in his head] . . . well, I imagine I'd be willing to throw over everything for a chance at a wish, if it meant finding a way to save my brother, and the world, if it came to that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 06:52 am UTC (link)
	Welcome to Sabra La Tau, Dean Winchester. "Tale that can't be told. My freedom, I hold dear." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 06:55 am UTC (link)
	What are you afraid of most? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 06:58 am UTC (link)
	... Mom... was killed by some supernatural freak-job when I was four. Hell if I know where Dad went. Sam... he's all I got... and he's stuck. Here. In the Pillar. I can't-- [sooo never had this many feelings about anything ever in front of you, dude] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 07:02 am UTC (link)
	[. . . coming right the hell over there and wrapping his arms around you whether you like it or not, murmuring] Bond, Bond, I promise you, I understand much more than you realize. I'm so sorry. We won't let it end like this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 07:06 am UTC (link)
	[... oh gdit, Winchester, you're getting hugged by a noodle ;;b not returning the hug but not shoving him away either shaaaky breath, regrouping here] Fuckin' right... Just. Gonna tell the others... after things settle down. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 07:08 am UTC (link)
	[honestly Dean Winchester, I think both of us needed more hugs in our lives] Tell them what, exactly? And you didn't exactly answer me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sonuva_gun 2011-12-05 07:12 am UTC (link)
	What to expect if I keep taking memories. [and god, I don't. even want to think about everything that scares me right now] ... s'pretty damn obvious. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	zeromemories 2011-12-05 07:21 am UTC (link)
	I'm not very clever. You might have to spell it out for me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

sonuva_gun
2011-12-05 07:30 am UTC (link)

[thinking it over, mostly because... feelings are hard. so hard. and there's probably bit of a painful laugh after a moment]

When our teams first woke up... I was the first one on Corvus. People kept asking, "Where's your teammates?" And I didn't know.

... it fucking terrifies me, thinking... I'm the only one left. Because I failed to save Sammy. And then...

[--nnnope. stopping there. I can be tactful. also, what am I, four? worst.]

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

zeromemories
2011-12-05 07:33 am UTC (link)

Sometimes, things happen that are out of our control. Or if they were in control, and we failed, somehow? Somewhere—. . . Losing a sibling—that you loved, that you grew up with, that you raised, that you promised to protect . . . any of those, all of those, that's the worst feeling in the world, isn't it? "What could I have done, what could I have done?"

But we still have things to fight for even after all of that. And it's not over. It's not over.

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sonuva_gun, 2011-12-05 07:36 am UTC

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zeromemories, 2011-12-05 07:37 am UTC

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sonuva_gun, 2011-12-05 07:43 am UTC

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zeromemories, 2011-12-05 07:44 am UTC

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sonuva_gun, 2011-12-05 07:46 am UTC

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