There is a wide range in who someone is and who they become. Uncle was really quite fond of studying that, loved tag and release programs for that.
But let me clear up one very strong point, there is no Judge who is omnipotent, as much as you've been lead to believe. It really IS how I've managed so long, but even that I wouldn't consider too much of a secret.
Lets get back on track, though, shall we? This is not simply for my benefit, if you do not have anything that motivates you strongly enough, binds you deeply enough, you're very likely either not going to survive this or will blow in everything rather shortly.
So should you not have a motivation deeper than "I made a deal that sucks and want out" I will be of no help to you at all. But there are other options.