[He really wanted to keep it together and appear more stable after the game-- but really, that's enough to crush it. He knew Rory saw already, but hearing it out loud makes it worse. He doesn't start crying again— there are tears forming in his eyes, but he's holding them back. Still, his expression makes him look completely scared and lost right now]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I— I didn't want you to see that.