PARROT
UH... I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BRO, BUT YOU'RE AN OPHIUCHUS. BUT YOU TRIED REALLY HARD SO I'MMA GIVE YOU SOME SHIT ANYWAY:
[Parrot gets: + A package of ten Roman candles + A very large trophy with his name on it. Also the trophy is a dong. + A bottle of beer inside a taxidermied squirrel]