I think... I'm still really excited with what is really happening between us, underneath all this. With -- how we've been actually... how something's been growing, and was growing properly until I started struggling again. That ... that honest, real thing that just existed between your feelings and mine. Like I said, there's some really basic facts that are true? That we love each other, that we want each other, and my one-sided feelings... and these have all been there and part of that growing, and I want that... I want to see what happens there far more than wanting to force a romance. I don't... I don't know how to put it. This is hard... but... but I...