Night and I have been awake for far longer than you have, and it isn't fair to compare your skills to ours. Colt and Persephone have been fortunate in what they've remembered -- Colt in particular, given his eyes' skills. You yourself are quite good with a knife for someone without skill, even with one not ideally suited to you. I have no doubt that you will eventually regain a great deal of skill with some kind of blade.