[Chuckles and so begins the music.] My dear, sweet child. How can you be so naive? How long have you lived? How unfortunate a girl to fall for such a ploy. Poor soul with no one else to turn to.
I admit that in the present I'm a nasty They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch And you'll find that nowadays I've taken it as all my ways Didn't repent, left the light, taken To this And you fortunately know a little magic It's a talent that you always have possessed And dear lady, please don't laugh You could use it on behalf Of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed (pathetic)
Poor unfortunate souls But why? What for? This one longing to be thinner That one wants to get the girl And do you want to help them? Not at all! Those poor unfortunate souls So sad, so true But can you say you're any better? Lying, "Everything is fine, really!" And never ask for help No you don't
Now it's happened once or twice Someone might have gotten close And you gladly decided to rake 'em 'cross the coals Then someone came along one day And made you think something else About this poor unfortunate soul