You're being stupid about it. It's—whatever you did, obviously you aren't supposed to be fine with it. No one should be. But that's the reality of this place. It doesn't make you any worse than the rest of us fucks here. We're all gonna do shit like that sooner or later, no matter what bullshit someone says about never sinking that low. You should ask Claude about it some time. He's that kind of soft-hearted idiot.