InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "you make my heart go boom boom"

Shigure Sohma // Rain(bow) (but_a_wolf) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2010-07-04 21:01:00

Entry tags:

!days 140-149, albert de morcerf, allen walker, amami riku, gokudera hayato, wanijima akito, {shut hell}, {sohma shigure}

Who: Hydra, interlopers.
Where: Hydra
When: Day 145, right after this
What: Simba visited the elephant cemetery D8

[Scowl has received cuddles and now Rainbow is addressing Simba]

We need to talk.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 08:22 am UTC (link)
	Why the fuck wouldn't I? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 08:25 am UTC (link)
	[squeezes his arms around him a bit] I was merciless in that game. I didn't realize what had been done to you at all, and got in over my head. The humans and the wolves all had so many different levels of control and knowledge. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 08:40 am UTC (link)
	I was . . . [ughhh leans into him a little] Orion was able to resist it. And Claude . . . (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 08:43 am UTC (link)
	Claude tried to kill me, and I killed him with my own hands. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 08:47 am UTC (link)
	He still fought it. I killed four people. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 08:48 am UTC (link)
	. . . Did you ever once think you could fight it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 08:53 am UTC (link)
	No . . . it didn't even seem strange until everything ended. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 08:57 am UTC (link)
	I bet that doesn't help at all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 09:03 am UTC (link)
	No, it—I can remember it, so it had to be me. But I couldn't—! [stiffens up abruptly, trying to pull away from him] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 09:06 am UTC (link)
	[oh no you don't. Lets him get some distance, but grabs his shoulders tightly to keep him looking at him] You were manipulated. Something was planted inside you to change how you think, and now you're scared of what you've become and how you bent to it and you're doubting yourself, aren't you? It makes you sick, doesn't it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 09:24 am UTC (link)
	[noooo ;; making half-hearted efforts at pulling away, though he can't quite break his stare] Of course it did—does! I can't stand it! I hate it! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 09:40 am UTC (link)
	You're not a monster. You're human. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 09:45 am UTC (link)
	. . . (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 10:12 am UTC (link)
	You're human. Just keep struggling. You're changing, so am I, we have to and it's because we're human beings. It's because you're human that you feel this way. You don't have to promise me you'll never change. I know who you are. Don't mistake what a God does to you for what a human does beneath one. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 11:26 am UTC (link)
	. . . [covers his eyes with one hand, speaking in a shaky tone] Human, huh . . . How many people are gonna agree with that? You and Hydra? Vulpecula? All our problems are 'cause of that fucking game and what I did in it. No one's ever listened to explanations. . . . Maybe they're the ones that're right. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 11:58 am UTC (link)
	Scowl. . . Hayato. Even if it was a hundred percent your fault, you would still be human. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 12:05 pm UTC (link)
	. . . (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

pierrotdetous
2010-07-07 12:16 pm UTC (link)

[brushes his hair back]

All of us care for you. And you feel this way now. And you stopped when I begged you, even fully enraged. And you cried!

Guilt and regret won't change what's done. You have a side, and a side can be merciless. That's how it is here. But it matters that you feel the burden of that.

And you were forcibly manipulated. That's also how it is. Slick is only human, too. It's why he's given up.

Keep struggling.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 12:30 pm UTC (link)
	I-I'm not going to! I can't! Hydra . . . I promised I'd stay here with them, so I can't stop. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 12:36 pm UTC (link)
	For your sake too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	For mine? It's only this much of a problem because what I did has been fucking over the rest of Hydra. What's mine matter? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 12:54 pm UTC (link)
	Honestly. . . The person who thinks you may be a monster and is hurting the most because of it is you. It's impossible not to make someone angry here, and it's impossible to completely understand each other. You haven't made a mess of your team. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 12:55 pm UTC (link)
	. . .[sigh] Imagine torturing River willingly. Pinning him down, grabbing his throat, ripping his body apart and loving every moment of it. How does that make you feel? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	righthandsmoke 2010-07-07 12:58 pm UTC (link)
	—There's no way I could! I can't even . . . That's too impossible! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	pierrotdetous 2010-07-07 01:13 pm UTC (link)
	How about Jace? Would you love to imagine torturing Jace? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)