jackson holt. (bleedingout) wrote in rulethenight, @ 2011-09-13 22:51:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, jackson holt, maria sparks |
i can fill in your blanks here.
It had taken him two days to work up the courage to come here, and now that he was standing in the street outside of her house, he couldn't even bring himself to climb the steps to the front door. Was she home? He knew she was, he could see her car in the street. But did that really mean she wasn't out? The streets were still such a mess after the quake and following zombie chaos -- zombies were real; he was still having trouble digesting that piece of information -- that she could have chosen to walk to work instead of bothering with her car. Still, even with that possibility, something in the pit of Jackson's stomach told him Maria was home. That and the faint glow from behind the curtains, a candle or a battery-powered lantern perhaps. She was home, and all he was doing was wasting time. What he hoped to achieve by delaying what felt necessary and long overdue, he couldn't even be sure. The sooner he marched up the steps and knocked on the door, the better. They had each known the other was in Boston -- and Bay Village specifically, the very same neighbourhood -- for months now and for one reason or another that was as far as it had gone beyond the odd communication across an online network that, while convenient, was still just another technological convenience. Maria had looked him up and made first contact after that strained reunion in the street, and now it was Jackson's turn to be proactive.
Of course, it was easier said than done. He was working on borrowed time, he knew. Venae Cavae was still undergoing repairs and so he had the night off work, but the vampire with whom he lived would not be out longer than a few hours. As it was he had wasted one after her initial departure working up the nerve to leave at all. It wasn't that Jackson was afraid of any consequences that might arise from sneaking out of the house. It was the simple fact that he was nervous enough to begin with. Maria didn't scare him, not anymore, and in truth she never had, not really. What he really feared was judgement and rejection, both of which he might deserve after the way he had treated her all those years ago, how he had cut the ties between them so forcefully and even cruelly. It wouldn't be unfair to throw that back in his face when he told her everything he had on his mind. Jackson had every intention of telling her why he had left, what had driven him to act the way he had, but on top of that, he also planned to reveal how exactly he had been living for the past few years. A cold ball of dread formed in his stomach just thinking about it, but it was too late to turn back, he told himself. He had come this far. All he needed to do was take the last few steps and just do it. Get it over with.
Jackson continued to stare at the door, hating that he was afraid to take those last few steps. It was just a door. What was the worst that could happen?