Rebekah MacKenzie (beckathesweet) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2012-12-09 19:17:00 |
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Entry tags: | day nine, rebekah, rebekah and wren, wren |
The Little Things
Characters: Becka and Wren
Setting: Kitchen, early afternoon
The first time the power flickered Becka was in the elevator heading up to get lunch. It had to have been out less than thirty seconds, but it still made panic rise up in her, and she pressed back against the elevator wall with a surprised screech that she was glad no one else was around to hear. Although she’d never considered herself afraid of the dark or claustrophobic, the mere thought of being stuck in the utter darkness of the elevator was rather terrifying. Was there even any ventilation?
Before panic could truly settle in though, the power came back on, and the elevator finished it’s journey to the first floor. As soon as the doors opened, Becka darted through them and the cafeteria to get outside, leaning against the wall just outside the door and breathing for a moment. “Don’t be ridiculous, Beck,” she chided herself under her breath. “It’s just a storm.” And the power flickering once didn’t mean it would happen again, she reminded herself as she continued on to the kitchen.
Wren, after she got done speaking with Wu, had for the first time gone to the pool room. She hadn't gone in, merely drifted her feet through the water for a time as she thought everything over, mind in a quiet sort of place. Which was better than the storm it had been in for the past few days. Eventually, her stomach gave a growl, and she went in that direction, wondering if after being sort of threatened anonymously, she shouldn't be slightly more nervous, instead of feeling better, but oh well. That was how she felt. Walking into the room, she smiled when she saw the blonde. "Hello, Becka." she greeted. "I hope you are well."
Becka was just getting the makings out for a salad when she heard Wren greet her, and she turned to look at her with a small smile. “I’m all right. Maybe a little jumpy from the storm, but nothing too bad, I think. How are you?” she asked genuinely. Adam had been worried about Wren, she remembered, enough to have let her sleep in his room and to sleep in hers, though she was trying not to think about Adam too much. It was easier not to focus on the disappointment if she just didn’t dwell on that having ended before it had got much of a chance to start.
"I am alright." Wren said, feeling at least a little confident in the matter. "Better than I have been." she added. "Thank you for asking." Going to the cabinets, Wren started searching for an apple or two.
“Well, better is... better,” Becka said with a little grin, not quite making a joke but feeling just a little at a loss. She’d only met Wren the once, and she hadn’t really had an actual conversation with the other girl, which she’d felt a little guilty about after the fact. “I wanted to thank you, again, for doing that reading for me last week. I’m sure you figured out that I don’t have any kind of experience with that sort of thing, but it was really interesting just how much it applied. It was really helpful.” It was a starting point, at least. Adam had asked her to let Wren know that the reading had helped.
It got Wren's attention, and she stood slightly straighter, looking over at Becka for a beat. "Did it really?" she asked. "I'd...I'd been considering dropping it all, honestly." she said, casting her gaze to the floor. "I wasn't sure I was qualified to tell anyone anything about anything."
Becka grabbed the last thing she needed from the fridge before closing the door and giving Wren her full attention. “It did,” she confirmed, smiling encouragingly. Her expression turned, though, at the admission, and she frowned softly. “I think it would be a shame for you to drop it all. You’re incredibly insightful, and even without knowing anything that was really going on with me, you were still able to explain the reading I got in a way that allowed me to apply it to my life. What makes you think you’re not qualified? You’ve been doing it for a really long time, right?”
"I have been, yes." Wren said. "I'd...thought people who's opinions I hold in high regard didn't want to hear anything I had to say." she said. "Which had me thinking that perhaps they were right, and I should become silent." It was a short answer for a very complicated feeling, but it was as good as she could do without getting into the whole mess.
Becka’s frown deepened at that, although she supposed that she could understand that feeling after she thought on it a moment more. “That would be a terrible feeling, but you’re talking like this feeling has passed? Or at least enough not to give it up entirely, right?” she asked hopefully. “Because I think you have a talent and depth of insight with those cards, and it would be a shame not to embrace that.”
"I'm still debating. But I'm leaning more towards not giving it all up." Wren said. She did smile, however, at Becka's encouragement. "I appreciate the sentiment." she told her genuinely. "It's strange, not believing in yourself anymore." she added, taking the apple she found and she washed it.
“Well good, I really hope you don’t give it up. And if you ever want to do another reading for me, I’d love that,” Becka told her honestly. Though she was still thinking she’d have to take a notebook next time to jot down notes on the reading so she didn’t forget the things Wren said. It had been so much to take in the first time. “Aww, yeah, I don’t think that would be pleasant at all, but I think that everyone has those moments in some part of their life or another where they just have no faith in themselves at all.” She knew that she had her own insecurities, at least.
Wren nodded, though she thought it was probably different. Everyone of course did have moments where they were unsure of themselves. But for Wren, it wasn't just her, it was her, and everything she stood for. That, and her world was painfully small. Other people had other people in their lives, interests, the list went on. Wren was a little too sheltered to have much else to fall back on. But she didn't argue with Becka at all, instead merely nodding and giving a light smile. "I'm sure." she agreed.
Becka smiled encouragingly at Wren as she finished getting her salad together, pouring some dressing over it before putting everything away. “You know, some of us were thinking of having a karaoke night tonight,” she commented, wondering if that would be something Wren would be interested in. And she remembered Hannah wanting to do a movie night. She should probably check with her on that.
"Karaoke?" Wren asked. That was something she was unfamiliar with. She wasn't even certain she was pronouncing it correctly, but she did give it a shot. She just said the word a little more slowly than Becka had. "Explain please?"
“Oh! You don’t know karaoke? It’s this horrible, umm, activity, I guess, designed to torture people who enjoy music,” Becka answered jokingly with a little laugh, though there was no judgement in her voice for Wren not being familiar with it. “No, but really, it’s when you sing along to music tracks that have the vocals removed. Usually there’s a monitor with the lyrics. It’s a pretty popular bar thing. Drunk people singing badly to the amusement of the crowd. It’s all supposed to be in good fun.”
Wren was slightly wide eyed as Becka explained. "The one here is the only 'bar' I have ever been to." she admitted. At no point had she ever been to another. She'd gone straight from the commune to the penitentiary. "I suppose I would like to see this." she said, not sure she would be able to participate. She was discovering a deep love of music, of course, but she was fairly positive people would not want to hear her attempt to sing.
At the admission, Becka smiled softly at Wren. “That’s okay! There are a lot of people that don’t go to bars on the outside. Heck, I only ever went as a DD - uh, designated driver - so I never drank so that I could drive my friends home.” And she’d never felt like she needed to drink to have a good time with her friends. “Then you should come join us! I’m not sure who all will be there, other than Autumn, Leandro, and myself. Maybe Kyle? I don’t know! And with this storm, who knows? The power went out on my way up here. It was only for like maybe thirty seconds, but it felt like a heck of a lot more. I just hope it doesn’t go out again,” she admitted, wrinkling her nose.
Wren nodded. "It would be unpleasant if it did." she said. "However, alright. If you think I should attend, then I will, whenever you get it up and running." she said, nodding for both of their sake. She'd be out of her element, but that was alright. She could handle that, she thought. And Becka wouldn’t put her into a situation she couldn’t handle, she didn’t think.
Becka nodded in agreement at that. She really wasn’t fond of the thought of the power going out, but she thought she might grab some candles or something for her room just in case. She thought she’d seen some around. “Great!” she said genuinely pleased that Wren would join them. After a moment, she bit her lip, wondering if she should give voice to the thought that had just occurred to her. “And maybe if you see Adam you could invite him along too,” she finally suggested, tone almost hesitant. She just wasn’t sure how things would be between her and Adam now, but she knew that she didn’t want it to be awkward.
"Oh, I can invite people? Can I invite Ches--" Wren stopped herself. "Charlie, too?" she asked. "I'm sure Adam would want to attend, as well. So long as everything is alright with you."
“Of course you can,” Becka said encouragingly, smiling at her. “I’ve only met him briefly, the morning of the stocks. Do you know him well?” she asked, though it seemed like Wren must with the way she’d jumped to mentioning inviting him. “I guess we’ll see,” was all she said in response to Adam, smile dimming slightly.
Nodding, Wren gave herself a moment as she ate a bite of her apple. "I knew him before I was incarcerated. He was at the commune for a few years." And just about everything he ever said to me about himself was a lie. She didn't share that, however. She noticed Becka's dimming smile, but imagined that was natural, at the moment.
Becka tilted her head slightly at that. “The commune?” she repeated questioningly, trying to remember if she’d heard anything about that, but coming up blank.
Wren was slightly surprised. She thought everyone knew her history. "I lived at a commune, from the time I was six, up until I was arrested." she said. "It was...people tell me it was a cult." she said. "Charlie, he was trying to break the cult up, though I didn't know that until quite recently."
Becka rather thought that she’d been way too caught up in her own dramas not to have heard about this. It wasn’t like her at all, and she decided then that she was going to stop focusing so much on her own issues from now on. “Oh! Oh wow,” she said, eyes a little wide. “That must have been a weird transition. What was it like at the commune?” she asked curiously, taking a bite of her salad as she waited for Wren’s answer.
It was a common question, but Wren didn't have any better answer than usual. She never quite knew what to say. "Simple." she said. "There was a farm, a lot of houses, animals. I was the prophet for them. I was told I was, anyhow. We were called the Order of the Loom."
Smiling softly at the first part of Wren’s answer, Becka thought that it sounded nice enough. The name, though, tickled something in the back of her mind, but she couldn’t quite place it. “That sounds like a fairly stress-free life. Well, aside from the prophet part. That would be a pretty huge responsibility. How did that work? Did you just do readings and stuff for people?” she asked, only curiosity and no judgment in her tone.
"Yes. I was everyone's guide." Wren confirmed. "And it was stress free for most people there. Up until everyone died." she added. Since yes. That was basically how things went. Everyone was there, and following Brian, and she did readings for anything and everything, and then everyone was dead.
That was not at all something Becka expected to hear, and her eyes widened in surprise, expression turning sad. Without even thinking about it, she reached out to squeeze Wren’s arm lightly. “Oh honey, I’m so sorry,” she said softly. It would have been awful, she imagined, to lose everyone you’d ever known. “How... Do you mind my asking how everyone died, but you and Charlie didn’t?” she asked awkwardly, feeling a bit horrible for even asking at all. She should just take it back. “But I understand if you don’t want to talk about it at all,” she hurriedly added.
Wren blinked slightly with Becka squeezing her arm, though she appreciated the gesture. She just wasn't overly used to it. "Charlie left before then. Everyone died because Brian, our leader, he poisoned wine and had everyone drink it. He told us that there'd be one chosen among us, who would be immune. I'm told my glass was not poisoned at all." She paused. "I'm used to people being curious. It's okay."
Becka’s stomach twisted at the explanation, disturbed by the words and the precise way she’d said them, as if she were reciting a headline she’d read and not talking about something she’d lived through. She had to think it was some kind of defense mechanism, or maybe just having to explain it so many times had brought her to a point where speaking of it in that way was all she could do. “That’s awful. What did you go to prison for?” Because she couldn’t imagine the blame being placed on Wren for everyone dying.
"The commune had a farm on it's property. It grew a number of things, though primarily, it grew marijuana. With everyone else dead or missing, I was the only person left around to prosecute." Wren explained. "So, I went to prison for manufacturing and conspiracy to distribute." she said, sighing slightly. She took another bite of her apple, though her appetite had died. She looked into a middle distance, trying hard not to think about the whirlwind that had hit her life so quickly.
Of all the things Wren could have said, production of marijuana hadn’t been anywhere near what Becka had expected to hear, and her surprise showed in her expression. “That’s ridiculous. I’m so sorry,” she said genuinely. Wren truly did not deserve to be in prison, and for that alone she really hoped that the end game advertised was for real. To have lost everyone and then be thrown into prison on top of that? Becka just couldn’t imagine how difficult that must have been for the other girl.
"Thank you, though no apologies are needed. It happened. Of all the things that have gone on in my life, it pales in comparison to others." Wren told her. Everyone dying trumped going to prison for something she didn't even quite understand. But she did appreciate Becka's sentiment, that much was clear in the light smile she gave the blonde.
Although she frowned, Becka nodded in silent understanding. Yes, she would imagine that it would pale in comparison, which only highlighted just how difficult and tragic everything else had been. She felt for Wren, truly. She was having a hard enough time being away from everyone she loved back home, but at least she knew they were out there; she really couldn’t imagine how hard it would be if everyone she loved were dead. It was a morbid and disturbing thought, and she just wanted to move on to something else, to put it out of her mind. “Well,” she began in a soft voice, glancing down. And then she felt at quite a loss for what to say in the wake of what they’d just discussed.
Wren glanced in Becka's direction and took pity on her. It was an awful subject matter, after all. So, she changed it entirely. "So...singing, together with everyone. Should I choose a song to make an attempt at? Or are there ones there that you need to pick from?" She smiled. "I'm just getting into music, and I'm quite enamored."
Music was an excellent change in topic, and Becka gave Wren a grateful smile for it. “There’s a lot of really great stuff out there. As for what you should choose, I’m not sure. I haven’t looked at the machine yet, I just know we have one now, so I really don’t know what selection there might be. Usually there is a catalog of songs to choose from,” she explained. “But with the selection they gave us on the computers? I’d guess they gave us a good selection for the karaoke, too.”
"I will have to go see what they have." Wren said. If she was going to participate, she thought she ought to not make things awful for everyone else in attendance. It was only courtesy. "But I look forward to this." she told Becka with a smile.
“You should!” Becka agreed enthusiastically. “And I’m glad. It’s good to have things to look forward to, no matter how silly or small.” She believed that wholeheartedly, especially in a place like this, in prison.
"Then, I will see you soon?" she said, honestly looking forward to it. Becka seemed to be a good person, someone perhaps she should seek to spend more time with. And this social engagement she proposed sounded interesting. Hopefully, it would be a much needed injection of a lighter mood to the proceedings.
“Yes, definitely,” Becka replied. She wasn’t sure where the thought had come from, but she was relieved that any awkwardness she’d felt about the whole Wren having slept in Adam’s room the other night was done and gone. She was really looking forward to getting to know Wren better, and she hoped that she would be able to help in some way.