“I’m still going to screw it up,” Edan pointed out, half because she wanted to screw it up and half because she’d forget. Evan as a name came too easily to her. Shaking her head she looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “To anyone who isn’t us, you and I look like a thing. Really can’t quite count it.” And her and Matt probably looked like less of thing compared to her and Evan, at least to an outsider. She watched him for a moment more before swallowing her fear of the storm raging outside and leaving the piano bench to drift closer to him. “It’s what I said because in a way it’s true, but it’s not some huge thing. You said you wanted to know about the process, it’s part of the process.”
And there she was, getting closer again. He had the urge to make a point of getting farther away, but was running out of places to go. He tended to bail on people. And he still could with her. But it would be better if she just came to the conclusion on her own. If it was her decision. And with what she was saying about that other guy, he was pretty sure it shouldn't be that difficult to get her to decide that.
Which didn't give him much in the way of answers for what she said to him, unfortunately. He kept his eye on her as she got closer. "I met you yesterday. Exactly how much of a 'thing' could we have?" he asked. "Well, part of the process sounds a whole lot like you're using me as a substitute for someone with too many twitches for you to deal with." he said, though it wasn't unkindly. Most people would throw 'you're using me' out there with malice, but in his case, it really wasn't. It was more just a point of fact, that he was referencing because it was relevant.
“I think there’s ‘things’ going on already,” Edan said with a shrug. “And I didn’t say we had a ‘thing’, I just said it could look like one.” What he said next though, that gave her pause, both in her steps and in how to react. “No,” she said shaking her head, getting that point across as clearly as she could. “I’m not using you Evan. Nor would I want to. You as person aren’t a means to an end.” But it hurt a little that he’d think that. At least he didn’t sound upset, but it still stung.
"What things are going on, Edan?" Evan asked. He saw that she stopped in her tracks there, and wondered how long her feet would stay planted. "And maybe you think you aren't using me, but that's what I heard. Maybe you don't know you are. But that's what it sounded like to me. I mean, makes sense." he told her, in a tone that suggested he let her off the hook. It did make sense. Probably more sense than everything else that had been confusing him, so he was good with things making sense. It was better than not knowing what the fuck to do with himself around her.
“Maybe in your cynical, everyone sucks view it does make sense, but that’s not what this is. I’m sorry if that’s what you heard, but that isn’t what this is.” She didn’t want to be let off a hook. She wanted it clear that that wasn’t how she felt about him. “Why are you so against me just liking you? Would it be that terrible if one person in this world missed you when you leave it Asher?”
"I kill people. That should really be enough, shouldn't it?" Evan posed with a sigh. "And yeah, actually, it would be terrible if people missed me when I was gone. It'd be kinda fucked up." he told her, gripping the edge of the desk on either side of him. "And, considering you're a pretty nice girl, I'd rather you didn't fall into that category. Twisted is fine. But fucked up is something else. Don't be fucked up."
Edan got closer as he gripped the desk, wanting to ease that grip so badly. “Is that all you are? There’s nothing else? Nothing more to the quiet guy who was there to catch his best friend when she fell? He’s just a killer?” Edan asked, feeling like it might be a lower blow, but maybe it was necessary. “Someone is bound to feel your absence. Someone must miss you. You haven’t been terrible to me, why would missing that be fucked up? And really, you’re being nice giving me twisted. I set shit on fire and I keep looking for my dead twin. I’m already fucked up.”