an echo of evan
Characters: Evan and Edan Setting: Cafeteria, early afternoon
The elevator couldn’t come fast enough. Edan was sure she was in some fucked up horror movie, waiting on an elevator (why weren’t there stairs into the basement?), while a purely psychotic woman was still behind her. Even if she’d said she wouldn’t chase her, Edan had no way to be sure. When the doors open she flung herself into the elevator, pushing the button for any floor that wasn’t the basement, hoping it would go faster, only starting to breath when the doors closed. For an instant she was worried that Pippa might show up at the last second, stopping the doors and cornering her in the elevator, but thankfully they closed without a hitch.
As the elevator lifted upwards, she started to heave breaths, trying to get herself under control to no avail. When the doors opened again she was bolting out of the small metal box, making it about four steps before she tripped on a chair in the cafeteria, stumbling again. Matt. She needed to get to Matt. She could hide there right?
She went for righting herself, to walk towards Matt, but the adrenaline was burning off and she lost her footing again, grabbing for the chair to hold herself up. The eye that Pippa had hit with her punch was definitely swelling, skin around it tender and pink, making her cry even if she didn’t think she really was crying. Her hair was askew, half falling down from the loose bun she’d had it in and there were scrapes on her arm, part of the sleeve ripped on one with a healthy scratch on it, probably from where Pippa had thrown her into the machine. She’d be bruised, her side from where it had hit the machine, her back and legs from where she’d fallen. And she was wet. In splotchy places with the last of the bubbles still clinging to her jeans and the back of her shirt.
Evan was in the cafeteria. Behind the bar, specifically. He had a beer, sort of absently nursing it as he thought over his day so far. He wasn't sure what the fuck he was in for here. And that? Was not a great feeling for someone like him. When the elevator door opened up, he glanced up, though it was really the abrupt departure then fall that caught his attention entirely.
It took him about four seconds to see that the brunette there was distressed. And she'd been hit. The bright mark on her face was clear to him, standing out against paler skin. And of course there was the tears, the tossled hair. The screaming fear she was projecting loud and clear. "Hey..." he started, setting his beer down as he skirted the bar, walking closer. That was when he saw the bubbles, the wet clothes. Whatever the fuck had gone down, it was bound to be one hell of a story.
He crouched down near her, but not too close. Spooking people who were already freaked wasn't the way to go. "You okay?" he asked.
Her eyes were still on the elevator, terrified it was going to open and reveal Pippa but someone speaking distracted Edan. She turned to look, all at once seeing Matt, then no, that wasn’t Matt. Her brother then, definitely her twin, but eventually his face faded as well and she was staring at a stranger. “Yes,” she said instantly trying to drag herself to her feet and mostly managing. It was a lie, a pretty blatant one, but she was trying for okay. At least until she tried to wipe at the tears in her hurt eye and hissed in pain.
Pushing himself back to his feet, he'd partially reached out to help her, though hadn't actually made contact. "You look fine." he said drily, glancing back at the elevator pointedly. "Who're you waiting to rush out of there?" he asked. "You being chased?" He took a few steps around Edan, to put himself closer to the elevator than she was. It was subtle, it almost just looked like he was seeing if there was any movement on the thing, as if he could tell. Then he focused back on her. "You're going to need some ice for that." he added. "...and a towel."
Edan was fairly certain she didn’t look fine, but she also didn’t feel fine so maybe he was being sarcastic. Which she was normally much better at picking up on than she was right now. “Pippa...I...no. She said she wasn’t going to but she pushed me. And hit me.” And then Edan had kicked her legs out from under her. So maybe they were even. “Yeah I need ice...” she agreed, then looked at him.”Who are you?”
Evan nodded for Edan to take a seat at the bar. "I'll get you ice." he told her, but he wanted to put her there and farther away from the elevator first. He noted the name, too. Pippa. Right. "Why did she attack you?" he asked. "And I'm Evan. New here. Navigating the super fun world of...whatever the fuck this place is."
“I was trying to turn off the washers,” Edan said as the fear started to subside, and she went where he nodded, shivering in her damp clothes. She was in her seat thankfully when he said his name and her eyes went wide. “You’re who?” she asked again, needing to hear that again. He didn’t say what she thought he said. There was no way.
Evan walked behind the bar again, getting ice. He put it in a towel, and crushed it up some, then handed it over to her, seeing the shiver. She needed to get changed. But he walked around the bar once more, taking a seat next to her, though he was facing the elevator, not the bartop. He leaned back against it, a deceptively relaxed position, even if he was a lot more ready for a confrontation than he looked. Just in case.
At her shock, his attention was back on her, and a light little flicker of confusion shown on his face. "...Evan." he repeated. "Do I already have a bad rep?"
Edan had taken the towel of ice but hadn’t done anything with it. She was too busy staring at him, trying to determine if she was seeing things. This wasn’t him. This couldn’t be him, it didn’t even look like him but that name. Shaking her head a little, her eyes darted around the room, looking for her Evan, but he wasn’t there. He was never there. “No...it’s my brother’s name. I didn’t realize.”
She looked like she'd seen a ghost. He didn't usually do that sort of thing, but he reached out to tip her hand towards her face, to get the ice where it needed to be. He didn't keep up the contact long, however. "Oh." he said, not sure what to do with that. Or why it made her look at him like that. "What's your name?"
She didn’t flinch away from his touch, just slowly moving her hand where guided, not flinching until the ice touched her cheek. “Edan,” she told him, knowing how similar to his name it sounded. Obvious twin names, that were almost the same name.
It was definitely the first thing that occurred to him. That Edan and Evan were the kind of names you handed out to twins. So, he decided to ask. "...twin?" He reached to grab his beer, eyes ticking to the elevator again. But his attention was less centered there, and more on the shivering girl next to him.
Edan nodded, still staring at him from around the ice pack held to her face. It was like a piece of him, even if she knew rationally it wasn’t. It wasn’t like Brady’s boy, who’d been named after her brother specifically, but this man she still wanted to give credit to for it.
Her staring at him like that had him feeling strange. He wasn't entirely positive how to deal with it. He wasn't exactly the best with people in the first place, and had already had a day where he was feeling a little raw. He'd been talking about Corrine earlier, felt like he'd been speaking with a ghost himself when he'd been talking to Carmel, he'd talked to Mojo about a few things...yeah. It was a fucking weird day. One he wasn't really all that prepared for.
And now an injured girl was staring at him, and he had a name of a family member. He opened his mouth, but shut it again, really not sure what he should say then. So, he stood up, walked around the bar again, and poured her a splash of vodka. He added cranberry juice to it, and pushed it in her direction.
When he moved her eyes followed him and it wasn’t until the drink was being pushed towards her that she broke off the contact. Shaking her head she stared at the glass instead, looking at it for a long moment before taking a sip. “Sorry...” she said softly, feeling everything that had been rushing through her starting to burn off and leave her cold. “He’s dead. I...Sorry.”
Ouch. Went through Evan's mind. Right. He wondered if he looked like the guy. They both had dark hair, not quite the same color or anything, but not too far off. They both had brown eyes. What did he say now? He had the name of her dead twin. Right. "Don't apologize." he told her. Mostly because her having a moment dealing with a death that clearly still affected her wasn't something to be sorry about. That he could address.
Shaking her head a little, Edan took another sip of the drink and leaned into the ice pack more. “I was staring. Like I’d seen a ghost. Which isn’t exactly accurate. And was probably rude.” Maybe from a distance, similar build, dark eyes, but that was it really. The name though, that was just sitting with her. She hadn’t met an Evan since. Maybe that was it. “I think I might actually be a mess. I should apologize for that too.”
Evan shrugged one shoulder, leaning on his end of the bar, picking up his beer again. "Yeah, I was just in a maximum security prison, sweetheart." he told her. "You staring is hardly something apology-worthy in comparison." he told her, and there was the very hint of a smile that he covered with another sip of beer. It was gone by the time he set it down again. "And you being a mess isn't your fault. It also isn't a huge inconvenience to me, since I was just standing around doing not much of anything, so..." he trailed off. "Stab me or something, then you can apologize. But this? You're good."
Maximum security? That made Edan frown, which hurt and she had to abandon the expression. “I wouldn’t do that,” she said, not sure how else to address the rest of what he said. “Hurt you. I’m not...not in here for that.” Letting out a small sigh she took another sip of her drink and leaned back more, putting more space between them. She still wanted to see Matt, but she was still getting her wits about her, gathering the part that she’d been hit by some crazy woman and now was looking at another Evan.
In an immediate reaction, he saw her draw back, and he put more distance between them. He wouldn't hurt her, but she didn't know that, and he understood what she was doing there. So...he just took care of it. He walked away, taking his beer with him. He kept the bar between them, and got to the far end of it, mostly so if the elevator opened with someone looking to attack her some more, he could get there first. "What happened to you?" he asked, not asking what she was in for, and he made a gesture towards his face to indicate the hit she was icing.
That movement away reminded her of Aaron and how he’d done the same, but she didn’t think on it too much. At least he was between her and the elevator in case Pippa came back up again. “I was supposed to meet Pippa and when I got down there all the washing machines were on,” she started, baffled by the whole thing. “Then they started to spill over and when I tried to stop them she freaked out and just...she threw me into one and hit me.”
"So someone's playing...what, highschool pranks, and you get assaulted for trying to stop it?" Evan asked. "Great." he said drily, shaking his head a little. He took another drink of his beer, and kept his eyes on the elevator. "You got out of there quick after that?" he asked. "No other injuries?"
Despite the situation Edan felt her cheeks go warm, but she kept her shoulders square. “No. I managed to kick her feet out from under her. Then ran off.” She ran her fingers through her hair, realizing how much of a mess it was, but not making an effort to fix it. “She’s crazy.”
Evan quirked a half smirk at that. "Good for you." he told her, the girl immediately rising a notch in his book. If she didn't just sit back and take it? That was a good thing. He never had liked spineless girls. "And yeah, I'm getting that." he said, sounding just a little amused. "Hopefully you don't have to see her much? What the fuck does happen when shit like that goes down? Is it the stocks bullshit?"
Edan nodded. “Evan...my Evan...was a soldier. I have a little of it in me too.” And he wouldn’t let her be weak. Not when he was leaving her side to fight somewhere halfway around the world away. Moving the ice pack away Edan frowned, despite the fact that it hurt. “I guess so. I don’t...don’t know if that means me too.” Which would be awful.
"Well, good. Not being bait is definitely the way to go." Apparently because here there were crazy bitches wandering around who attacked people at random. Which was just fucking fabulous. "Why would it mean you?" he asked.
Edan shrugged. “I kicked her pretty hard. She bit her lip or something. Either way she was bleeding. I’m not.” She didn’t realize her arm was scratched, not quite feeling that pain properly yet, even less now that she was thinking of a day in the stocks.
"I don't know, you look a little scratched up." he told her, nodding towards her arm where he could see a few scratches. In his book they didn't count as an actual injury, but they were there, period. "And either way, self defense is self defense. You can't be held accountable for something you did while defending yourself from some crazy bitch's attack."
“What?” Edan asked then looked where he was nodding, eyes going wide. When had that happened. “Oh god,” she said softly. Maybe from the washer when she’d lost her balance? “I hope so,” she said distantly at what he said. “I felt bad for it, that was for sure.”
Evan stared at her. "You felt bad." he repeated. "For what, getting a nutjob off of you?" He shook his head. "You shouldn't. Don't feel bad for people who are going to attack for no reason. They're some of the most dangerous people out there, and they sure as shit won't feel bad for whatever they do to you."
Edan met his gaze and shook her head. “I’m not really built to hurt people. Even my brother, the soldier? He was a medic. He saved more lives than he took.” She sighed and got up from the bar, feeling tired, worn down, but she guessed that was the fear and adrenaline burning off and leaving her wet and hurting in its wake.
"And that's great, sweetheart, but you're locked up in here with the likes of people like me. Like that chick who messed you up. You don't have to be built to hurt people, but you do need to be able to defend yourself and not sob about it later. You did the right thing. Don't get too bleeding heart...you don't want to find yourself hesitating. You can't. I wouldn't want you to get hurt worse." Evan said, being perfectly honest with her. She got points for kicking the crazy chick. She lost a couple for feeling bad about it. But mostly, he was thinking if she was going to be going around getting her ass kicked, she needed to be able to deal with the aftermath.
Edan stopped, looking at him. “Do I look I’m sobbing?” she asked, knowing the only tears in her eyes were from the hit and not her emotions. Pausing for a moment she thought of how to say what came next. “I lost enough of myself in prison. I’d rather not lose all of it.” Her twin wouldn’t approve of that for sure.
He watched her for a few moments. "And you think feeling bad for someone who hurt you means you're still intact?" he asked, just to get more of her mindset on that. "What else did you lose? How long were you in?"
“No, I think feeling bad for hurting someone is what keeps me intact. For not wanting that to be the outcome, no matter how necessary.” Edan shrugged. “Six months. Not as long as some but...I’m very different. Popular and pretty doesn’t work in prison.”
"I would have thought it would have worked better. What happened to you?" he asked, wondering if she would clam up, or if she'd actually tell him. He finished his beer, and set it on the bar, absently pushing it around on the bartop. He watched it's progression, the tattoo on the inside of his wrist visible as he did so.
“Not in the way I would have wanted it to,” Edan said shaking her head. “I kept my head down. I lost everything that mattered to me and then my freedom. Maybe you know what that’s like,” she said nodding towards his tattoo. She had a memorial tattoo, she’d met soldiers; she knew one when she saw it.
He glanced at his own tattoo, tracing his fingers lightly against the words there. "You're not wrong." he told her. "What happened that you lost everything?" he asked, glancing back at her. He was kind of thinking he needed a better distraction. Corrine was on his mind all damn day today, and that always put him in an odd place, headspace-wise. Suck it up, whiteboy. he could hear in her voice, echoing there.
Edan’s shoulders sunk a little as she nodded. She knew how he felt, all too well. “Evan died,” she said plainly. “He was a soldier, like I said. He died over there, and...they wouldn’t tell us what happened, then they said it was his fault, that he wasn’t a hero, but they wouldn’t explain why.” She looked at the bar, touching the wood, tracing designs in it. “He saved lives. One of the men here, Brady, my brother saved his life, actually really did. And they said he wasn’t a hero. I burned the recruitment office down.”
Evan couldn't help but quirk a half smirk at that. "That's one way to make a statement." he told her. That took some balls. Obviously it hadn't worked out well for her, but still. "I take it you're in for arson, then." he said rhetorically. "So you lost your brother, and people tarnished his name to add insult to injury, hell hath no fury and all that, and now you're here." he said. "I miss anything?"
“Got the point across. I was pretty popular with the online terrorist groups.” Edan shrugged one shoulder then nodded. “Convicted on five counts of arson,” she clarified. “But otherwise, no.”
"Five counts?" Evan asked. "What else went down in the wake of your wrath?" he asked, curious. She definitely had a lot more going on than it looked, that was for sure. Driven by a lot of pain, yeah, but a lot none the less.
Edan tilted her head a little before shaking it. “Those were before. Apparently the pattern was the same.” She hadn’t claimed those even if they were hers. Sacrifices had needed to be made.
Arching an eyebrow, Evan kept his eyes on her for a long, long moment. "...Okay you can't tell me something like that, and not fill in the blanks. That's got to be an interesting story." he told her. So he really wanted to know more.
She poked at her cheek, wincing from where it was puffing slightly and surely bruising up nicely. “Always had sort of a knack for burning things. Which was why I was able to pull off the recruitment office one so easily. I’d already burned down four abandoned buildings, though I suppose one was more of an abandoned construction site.”
"Why?" Evan asked. She sure was giving off conflicting signals. But that sort of just made her more interesting. It meant she wasn't the average, run of the mill person, if she kept throwing curveballs at him.
“Because I could. And fire is...grounding. Evan was gone, I felt like there was this big hole in my chest and that seemed to even things out for a bit. No one was using them. Hell, in two of the places, they wound up building new buildings and people moved in. I did someone a favor.” Edan tugged at her hair, then poked at her face again, not able to really stop even if it hurt.
If he was closer, he would have had the urge to take her wrist and pull her hand away from her cheek. But he wasn't. "Don't poke at it." he said instead. "Ice." he reminded her, since she still had it. "How is fire grounding?" he asked, figuring she could wax poetic about that. If she felt that way about it, she had to have a lot of connection to it and the experience.
Edan was half lost in her own memories; her Evan taking her out to the dump, telling her to burn things that didn’t belong to people, places where people couldn’t get hurt. “Huh?” she blurted at his instruction, but then realized she still had the ice and put that on her face instead. “It just is. I like it. It makes sense. It washes things anew, starts them over. And it’s always changing. Ashes to ashes and all that.” She shrugged one shoulder. “it always just made sense to me.”
Clearly she'd been lost in her own thoughts. She was kind of all over the map. He got himself another beer, but kept that distance between them after he'd gotten it. "How does it start things over? I thought it just destroyed things." he said, though not in an argumentative tone. Though he did note that she'd obviously used fire in a destructive manner, too. What with the recruitment office going up in flames. Her comment about ashes actually had him internally wincing. He'd given her his real name, not the one he usually went by. He should probably mention that. "...by the way, call me Asher, not Evan. I don't generally give out my first name."
“Things always grow again the wake of a fire,” Edan said shaking her head. “Think of the phoenix.” The bird her home city was so lovingly named after. “It would burn up, then rise again from the ashes, new life, starting again. It’s why they say it in the funeral prayer. Fire’s elemental, starting things over again, becoming part of the earth to bring new life.” She frowned at his name, but nodded. “Why don’t you tell people?” She was going to have a hard time thinking of him as Asher, but she would try, since he asked.
And a phoenix is a myth, sweetheart. Evan thought, but didn't share. Instead, he just watched her as she spoke. "What exactly does the funeral prayer say?" he asked, unfamiliar with it. But then he wasn't exactly mr. religious, so that was why. He never quite had been, and after what happened to Corrine, he had decided if there was a god? They sure as shit didn't like Evan much. "As for why I don't tell people, I don't usually like to get involved. Pretty much with anyone. It's just one more level of distance." he said, seeing no real reason not to be honest.
“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Edan explained. “You know it. It’s based off Bible scripture which has never been my thing, but it’s about being made out of dust and returning to it. Circle of life and all that.” She shrugged a little, leaning her elbow with the ice on the bar and her face into it. “No one? Except her,” Edan said gesturing towards his tattoo. She thought about it for a moment then nodded. “I know what you mean though, not getting involved. You can call me Winters if you’d rather, but you should know, my brother called his military friends by their last names more than their firsts? And they were like brothers. It’s a name, no matter what name you use and it’s still you.”
"Ah. Guess I didn't associate that with fire." Evan said honestly. Because yes, he'd heard it. It was just a phrase that conjured dusty bones imagery in his mind, not flames. He took a drink of his beer. "Did I say it was a her?" he asked. He didn't think they were close enough that she could get a great look, though he glanced at it himself. Even if it was burned into his mind just like the rest of her note. At this point, he could probably forge it, blind. "And yeah, I know that's a habit with the military, but I'm not part of it. And I don't think I'd ever get close enough with anyone that I'd be considered 'family', makeshift or not. I'm still me, yes, but me doesn't like people very much. I don't really play well with others, they don't play well with me. Thus...distance." he explained. "Every little bit helps, especially in prison."
“Ashes come from fire. People were probably cremated a lot more when they put the words together.” Edan shrugged and shifted to see if she could get a better look, but no luck. “Just a guess mostly. The writing looks less...guy like, though the tattoo I have for my brother is in script so I could be wrong.” She was quiet, studying his features, wondering if it was prison that made him dislike people or if he’d always been that way. “I understand that. I just kept my head down. Very different from Student Council Vice President. Though I wouldn’t have guessed that you don’t play well with others, not right away.”
"I get it." Evan told her. "Not an idiot. Just didn't associate that way in my mind, that's all. But then it didn't associate with religion, either, so there's that. More 'horror movies'." he added. "You're not wrong." he added again. If she wanted to keep asking him questions or putting little bits together, that was fine. He was interested on when she'd stop, dropping any interest in who he was. Or, if she'd keep at it. "So, in highschool you weren't burning things down you were running student government?" he said. "And why would you not have guessed that, out of curiosity. Because I didn't just let you scramble?"
“Works for horror movies too,” Edan agreed. “Were you in love?” she asked, curious what had closed him off, if it was the girl or something else. Or maybe it was just him. “I wasn’t burning down buildings yet, but yes mostly. Among other things. Then it was college and then work, always with people.” She ran her hand over the scars on her other hand, burn marks that traveled up them. They were older, obviously from before her last fire. “Because you helped,” she told him, her tone indicating that it was more than just keeping her from scrambling. He’d gotten her ice, a drink, sat her down.
When she looked at her scars, Evan noticed them, not having picked up on it previously. But he didn't get closer to inspect them, even if he was curious enough to. "Loved her, wasn't in love." he told her. Since it was true. Corrine had been his best friend, and he'd loved her dearly. But they'd never been romantically linked. He nodded at her last statement. "I'm an asshole, I'm not quite enough of one to just let some terrified, injured girl twist in the wind."
“Sometimes that’s enough,” Edan said, covering up her scars, too self-conscious of them when she was aware of them. “Did you lose her too?” She guessed the answer was yes, but the prompt was to see if he’d speak about it, and she was curious just how. “See...I haven’t really seen the asshole yet, so it’s harder to believe.”
He noticed that self-conscious action, and wondered if she had other scars she was covering up. "Yes. These were her last words, to me." he told her. Last words to the world, too. "And I'm sure eventually you will. But it should be fine, you already drew back from me, which means you aren't dumb, either. So, maybe you'll steer clear, and see it from a distance."
“I like that, to keep them with you forever,” Edan said sad smile on her features. “I have the meaning of his name. Well your name as well.” Biting her lip she narrowed her eyes at him slightly, trying to see him in the light he painted himself in. “Is that what you want? Me to steer clear? I drew back and you put a mile between us. I didn’t need that much, though I suppose I appreciate it.”
Evan took another pull on his beer, shrugging one shoulder. "Would probably work best for you." he told her. "And yeah, I put a mile between us. I can intimidate people when I want to, but I didn't exactly want you to be afraid of me. Not when you just came from a situation where you were scared, where you were attacked. Like I said, I'm an asshole, I'm not that much of one. So, you get a whole lot of space. And you'll want to steer clear, in any event." he added.
“You didn’t answer my question. You told me what I should want but you didn’t say what you wanted.” Edan wasn’t accusing, just asking, curious if he realized he’d done that. She guessed not.
He quirked a little half smirk in her direction, indicating he had realized. That and he was amused she caught him on that. "Honey, I want everyone to stay clear." he told her.
His smirk earned him one in return as she nodded. “Good to know. It’s not happening, but it’s good to know.”
Evan almost laughed at that, and there was a tiny grin that made an appearance before it disappeared. "Oh? Not going to leave well enough alone, even if I've said blatantly it's what I want? My desires don't count?" he asked.
“No, not going to. I know it’s what you want, but you’re still here. You didn’t just leave. You’re curious. So while your desires count? I wonder if you’d be that opposed to someone not staying completely clear.” Edan’s smile was a little more coy, almost playful, but it didn’t match the bruise on her cheek. “If I’m true to who I am? I don’t give up on people easily.”
"I'm not leaving because you interrupted my beer drinking, so I'm finishing, and I'm waiting to see if psycho bitch decides to try and come after you." Evan told her with a nod in the direction of the elevator. "Could always just walk you to your room, I suppose, but I was going to give you a few to calm down, let the alcohol sink in, and then suggest it." he added. He kind of liked her spunk, really. It was interesting. Though he didn't own up to her 'you're curious' bit. The smile was cute, too. And her tone. The effect wasn't entirely ruined by the bruise on her face. "I could always jump to the part where I tell you what I did, and then you would change your mind." he added, basically ruining things for himself. And he was aware of it. He didn't get involved with people, and just because she was cute and was holding her own on things at the moment, even after an assault, that didn't mean he suddenly should start throwing his habits to the wind.
“You’re doing a terrible job at being an asshole Ev...Asher,” she told him, smile more teasing this time. She waited a moment, looking at him. “Do you want to do that? Tell me and ruin things? Because...you don’t have to.” She was giving him more ground than he deserved probably, but he’d done her one good one, she could give him something back.
"Good girl." he said, at her correcting herself. "Why would I not have to?" he posed. "You pulled back the second you heard 'maximum security'. I could do one better." he told her. "Death row." he added, just seeing how she reacted to that. "See, you were doing good there, with the pulling back. It means you're not stupid, that you've got survival instincts. That was an appropriate reaction. Blowing something like that off...that's just asking for trouble, turning a willing blind eye. That's no good."
It felt a little like she was being patted on the head with his ‘good girl’ comment, but Edan pushed it away. His statement had the reaction he wanted, color slipping from her features. Death row. And he was so young. Possibly younger than her. “What for?” she asked, feeling like that mattered even if it might not.
That was the reaction she needed to have. He almost felt bad, but at the same time, knew it was for the best. Wouldn't do, her thinking he was some sort of nice guy, or something. Someone to borderline flirt with. "Does it matter?" he asked her, locking his gaze onto hers. "Everyone knows they don't put people there, unless it's bad."
Edan thought about it then met his gaze. He didn’t seem as terrifying as he could be. Hell, Aaron was scarier looking and he’d confirmed he wasn’t one of the bad guys. Sure that might have been a lie, but Edan’s gut had believed him. She wasn’t going to be giving him everything, but she wouldn’t avoid him. “Does it matter to you?”
"It's not relevant. My question was does it matter to you. Will knowing for some reason change things for you?" he asked. "Knowing if I just killed one person, or if it was fifteen, or if I robbed a bank, or bombed somewhere?" he posed. "Is that somehow going to play in for you?"
“Of course it will change things. It will likely have the result you want, that you’ll scare me even farther away, put more distance between yourself and someone who might have given you a chance. Things changed for you when you found out what I did.” He’d seemed more interested after the fact. “Maybe it’ll just help me understand.”
"It would only really help you understand if I gave you motive." Evan told her. "Just knowing I'm in for double homicide...that probably isn't going to give you a whole lot." he added, watching her closely. He didn't comment on whether or not things had changed when she'd told him what she'd done. Mostly, she'd just been interesting in this encounter, for a few reasons. But it didn't really matter. He'd set out specifically to shut it down, and that's what he was doing.
Edan waited a breath. “Tell me then. Give me everything. You have a captive audience for a few moments.” Double homicide. At least he wasn’t some sort of young as hell serial killer, but it wasn’t reassuring. It was alarming, something worth putting more than the mile between them there was, but she was curious and couldn’t quite bring herself to run away just yet. Maybe it was the shock from getting hit.
Evan took another drink of his beer, then set it down on the bartop with a click. Then, he turned towards her, and walked back toward her, taking his time.
He wasn’t telling her and as he moved closer, for an instant Edan froze, not completely, but her body seemed more ready to react than just to run. “What?” she asked when he wasn’t stopping, she was off the stool and taking a step back, even if he’d still covered ground between them.
He got to where she had been, in front of her, and he paused, putting his hands down on the bartop. His eyes never left her. "I painted the walls with two men's brains. Used a shotgun. They're messy." he said. "Oh, and they weren't in the same place." he added. "So, I shot one, then left, traveled across town, and killed the other." he said. "So. Does 'why' I did it actually matter? Or is that enough for you?"
The ice was forgotten somewhere melting on the bar top, near where he was now. She got another step back, but more because his gaze was intimidating than him as a person. He was bigger yes, but if he lunged...he’d hurt. But he was holding her gaze and he didn’t look like that was what he had in mind. “Yes,” she said finally. “I think it does. If you put that much into it.”
Evan leaned back, against the shelves behind the bar, eyes still on her. He crossed his arms, assessing quietly for a long few moments. "Why does it matter?" he asked. "Why isn't it enough to know I'm capable of something like that?" And he really did want to know, he wasn't stalling. He wanted to know why that factored in for her. Even if she did for some reason decide his motives were okay, at the end of the day he was still someone more than capable of plotting out then carrying out that plot to kill more than one person.
Edan swallowed, biting at her lip more while she tried to put what she was thinking into words. “Because it doesn’t match up. You doing that and you...caring. You helping me, without knowing who I am. There’s plenty of crazy women just as normal looking as I am. I was locked up with them. Something’s missing from the puzzle.”
"Maybe I'm lulling you into a false sense of security." he said. "Or was. Any security you had been feeling seems to have evaporated." he noted. Which was the smart thing for her to do. "You're right. Crazy people are out there, and they look just like everyone else. Why trust that I'm not among them?"
“There’s a tiny bit left,” Edan said, watching his eyes. “But maybe it’s just lingering empathy.” She still knew what it was like to lose everything. She still felt that with him. “I never said I did. You avoiding telling me probably means something though.”
"Probably not a wise thing to have around here, sweetheart." Evan told her, sadly, meaning it. She seemed like a good person. Which kind of made him worry. Evan's brand of worry just came in shades that weren't all that great for anyone involved. "Okay, so guess. Throw it out there. What do you think I did it for?" He reached under the bar, but didn’t reveal what he’d picked up.
No it probably wasn’t. Nor was him calling her sweetheart, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. “It had to do with her,” she said, going out on a limb, but he hadn’t batted an eye when she told him what she’d done, and why she’d done it. Maybe he understood.
He leaned back again, and he had an ice pick. He put the tip of it against the pad of his thumb, and twisted it slightly, not injuring himself or anything, just feeling the sharpness. "You're not wrong." he told her, giving her that, seeing if she was going to go for anything more. Well. That and if she was going to go away.
That got him another step back from him. The bar is still there, she reassured herself, but it wasn’t quite enough. “They took her first. And you got payback.” In a dark, dark way. “And now you won’t let anyone else get close, because you can’t lose someone else.” It was quiet, whispered, but more her own feelings than anything else. It was how her past year had been, probably right up until Matt had crashed into her life. No one else had been worth her time.
"Something like that." Evan said. She was close, really. Not bad, for the very little amount of information she'd gotten. He set the icepick on the bar, walking back over to where he'd been in the first place--which gave her his back for a few, and he was aware of that. "She killed herself. But it was because of what they did." He took up his spot at the end of the bar again. "She was my best friend in the entire world, I have no memory of life before she was there, and now she's gone, and that's that."
Edan let out a breath when he moved away, finding herself going back to where she was, fingers curling around the abandoned ice pick, biting her lip again. “Ev...” She stumbled over his name again, taking a moment before she looked at him. “Asher...I know how that feels. Losing someone like that. Probably better than anyone else here. I feel like half of my person is missing. I keep looking for him. I don’t...I don’t know if I agree with what you did, but I understand how it feels to lose that person, your best friend, and having to start over.” She held the pick in her hand for a moment, shakes making her shoulders tremor. “So no. Still no.” She was probably suicidal, but maybe she got him. Or she wanted to know there was another way out. Dropping the pick on the bar she finally looked at him.
He saw her pick up the ice pick, and that was what he'd intended. After all, there were killers wandering around there, now weren't there. Handing her a weapon? Maybe it was a good way to go. Maybe. "There isn't a 'start over' for me. I went to prison when I was seventeen, and I imagine sometime soon they'd get around to killing me off. So...yeah. Not really a thing for me, the idea of starting over."
Edan looked around them then shrugged. “Tough luck sweetheart,” she said echoing his pet name. “You’re here and as weird as this place is? It says second chance on the door. Might as well get used to it. Make something of it.” Why was she giving this speech again? How had that happened? Unable to stop herself she looked for her brother, expecting to see him nodding in agreement, but as always there was nothing there. Just her and the murderer.
Evan glanced around too, before looking back at her. "Yeah, not so sure about that." he told her. "And I'm damn sure I'm not going to 'graduate' or some shit like that. It'd be stupid to put me back on the streets anyway." He'd killed others in prison too, so...yeah. He wasn't even quite sure how he'd managed to get in this program to start with. "So about that steering clear thing..."
“I wonder if you’d think that if you had something to live for,” Edan said, more musing out loud than actually posing a question. “Yeah...no. Not right away. Technically I still owe you one, so for now, this” she waved between them, “is as far as I’m getting. Sorry.” Maybe it was giving him too much, but she had learned in prison that owing someone went a long way. Maybe he’d understand that. And maybe she was still curious.
"You don't get to start throwing around ideas about me and living. I've been dealing with the idea that I didn't have a life anymore, since I was a kid, so, don't bother." he added. He was kind of sure starting to have hope of some different life--or a life at all, for that matter--would be just a little soul crushing when all of this crashed and burned. "And you don't owe me shit, Miss Vice President." he said. "I didn't do anything. Nothing worth owing someone for. I say if you owe me, not the other way around. I say you're in the clear."
“It was just a thought,” Edan said shaking her head. She looked over at him, hating that he was shutting her down so easily. “Fine. I don’t owe you, even if I feel like I do.” She poked at her bruise again then took a step backwards towards the door. “You know, reasoning being...very clear as to why I should stay away...without it? I’d want to be around you again. Food for thought.” She took another few steps back, curious what he’d say before she really left.
He was glad that she didn't push owing him, even if she could have. Because really, owing someone went both ways. She could just as easily tell him the debt wasn't clear until she said so, because it was on her conscience that she owed him. When she got closer to the door, he watched her movement, though he glanced at the bar again, and walked over to pick up the ice pick. "But the reasoning is there. And never going away. So, doesn't really matter, does it. Don't forget this." he said, holding it out towards her, handle in her direction.
Edan bit her lip, looking at the ice pick in his hand before going back and taking it from him, letting herself get close. “And then there’s this,” she said, looking at the weapon he’d just armed her with. “You’re a curious man Asher,” she told him softly, tapping the handle against her lower lip before backing up again. “I’ll be seeing you.” She sounded like she meant it.
"You know what they say about curiosity. Careful, sweetheart. There's killers around here, you know." he told her in parting, glad she'd taken the ice pick, at least. Maybe next time, crazy bitches wouldn't get the jump on her. And she wouldn't have to back off from people, because she would know she had something she could defend herself with. Either way, he watched her go, eyes not leaving her til she was out the door and out of sight.