ashers_ashes (ashers_ashes) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2012-11-08 00:23:00 |
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Entry tags: | carmel, carmel and evan, day eight, evan |
distant ghosts
Characters: Evan and Carmel
Setting: the kitchen, morning
As soon as they could leave their rooms, Carmel headed for the kitchen to start doing up eggs and hashbrowns. Talking about it on journals had cemented her desire for the meal, though she took some time to mix up some fresh fruit as well.
She couldn't say she liked being locked in her room. It wasn't like she would have gotten in the way of removing Caroline's remains. She could see the reasoning, though, even if her stomach had been rumbling. At least the quizzes were fun in their way. She felt a little better with two nights of sleep under her, even if she hated taking stuff to help. She wouldn't be using any more tonight, though, and she feared the whole cycle would start again.
She hummed quietly under her breath as she puttered around the kitchen.
Evan was wandering the facility, getting a feel for where everything was. He also happened to be hungry, so he decided to find the kitchen first. He got through the cafeteria first, seeing the bar there (this place was full of fucked up plans), and he paused and considered getting a drink, but in the end opted out.
Walking into the kitchen, he slowed his pace when he saw the space already occupied. He said nothing immediately, just getting a good look at the woman in there.
Carmel did some dishes and general clean up as she waited for whoever else wanted food. She wouldn't do this every day, but food to order wasn't a big deal every now and then. As she worked, she made a mental note to touch base with Reece again, since the weather had prevented a cookout the other day.
She looked up when she felt a steady gaze on her and gave the man a friendly, polite smile. "Hi there. I've not seen you around. I'm Carmel," she introduced herself. "I've taken to cooking a lot around here. Would you like some eggs and hash browns and such?"
Well that was straight forward. "Hi." Evan said. "Carmel, the cook. Good to know." he said, noting it. He looked slightly suspicious at the offer of breakfast. Even if she'd just said she had taken to cooking, it was odd for him to just have that offered up like nothing. "Er...you don't have to cook for me." he said, not quite sure how to react.
Carmel grinned at him. "Well, I'm here, and I have eggs and hashbrowns," she said, shrugging slightly. "I like to cook, you see. I was a chef and a caterer once upon a time. I've been reveling in having a kitchen again." Her explanation was simple and upfront. His suspicious expression hadn't gone unnoticed. "I've taken to doing a little breakfast sometimes and a big dinner, usually ready around five or six. I just ask that people help keep things clean, and if you ever want to lend a hand, you're always welcome. Oh, and requests and allergies are taken into consideration, too."
"Sounds saintly." Evan said, not quite sure how to take it, still. Not a whole lot threw him, but this was...well. Unexpected at best. "But sure, if you've already got it going and don't mind, I guess some breakfast wouldn't hurt." he said. He was quiet for a moment, glancing around the kitchen itself, noting there was a lot in there that could seriously hurt someone. "...so they're playing it fast and loose with potential weaponry, I see."
"Oh, I'm not a saint," Carmel said, somewhat amused. Her lips quirked. "I like to feed people. You can't see it, but I have Italian blood. It makes me happy to feed others." And yes, she had an element of motherhen to her, too. "How do you want your eggs? I'll do about anything that doesn't involve having to make hollandaise sauce," she told him. She glanced around the kitchen and shrugged, thinking.of the knife in her bedroom, and how recent events had her considering carrying one in her boot. "So far these haven't been an issue," she said, giving him a frank and appraising look. "The only person who has died did so by falling while trying to escape, I believe." And she wanted to keep it that way. She would condone defense of herself and of others, but she brooked no troublemakers.
"Over easy." Evan told her first, to answer her question. He walked over and picked up a smaller knife, testing the edge against the side of his thumb. "Sounds weird, these things not being an issue." he remarked. "You'd figure they would be. But then I also saw a bar on the way here, and wondered who the fuck thought up that, and who didn't stop the insanity before it got put in motion."
She watched him as he moved through the kitchen, not warily but just making sure especially with his interest with the knives. She always had one near her in the kitchen, though it wasn't for that so much as her work here required knives. She grimaced at the mention of the bar as she stared his eggs. "Don't even get me started on the bar. I don't approve. It's just asking for trouble," she said. "We got it after several people made requests for alcohol."
"Because that's a great plan. Handing over alcohol to prisoners. If we asked for shotguns, do you think they'd give those over?" he asked rhetorically, setting the knife down where he'd found it. "People been getting sloppy drunk and doing stupid shit, then?"
"I don't know. Maybe I should ask," Carmel said, tone faintly amused yet sarcastic. She shrugged. "I know a few people have gotten drunk. And there's a few drunks here I think who don't need temptation." She worked on his eggs and stirred the hashbrowns to warm them. "the only stuff I've taken I'm reserving for cooking with, so no one should begrudge it." She wasn't usually a big drinker herself. Just a little on occasion.
"What else has been going on here?" Evan asked. "I was reading up on the journals. Seems like I missed a lot." he commented, leaving it open for her to fill in whatever blanks she wanted to on that score. He'd take what he could get. He still didn't see anything that made him think he needed to reassess things. But more information couldn't ever hurt.
"Just got here today?" She asked curiously. She didn't mind chattering and telling him stuff, though. It wasn't line any of it was a big secret. "Well, hmm. Started out just this block, but now we have the other one too, and a pool and a clinic and a laundry. We had stocks the other day for undisclosed punishment." Her frown made her opinion clear on that. "Then the other day Caroline fell and died trying to escape, I believe is what happened." Which was tragic. "A few scuffles, some gifts, some bribes, and they like to assign homework," she added dryly.
Evan nodded at her question, then listened to everything she had to say. He was quiet for a moment, then finally commented. "So you're telling me this is just like a 'zany college campus' movie, only not hilarious?" he assessed.
"Well, we haven't turned into Cabin in the Woods yet," she said agreeably. "And we aren't as corny as The House Bunny, though enough of the girls are pretty enough to pull it off." She didn't really list herself among that number though she didn't necessarily think herself unattractive either. "It is basically a coed dorm motel that you can't leave. A lot of people are enjoying the coed part, I believe," she said, not wistfully or bitterly though perhaps a bit dry and amused.
"Yeah, I'll bet." Evan said. That was one of the things he found the most 'what the shit?'. He thought it was asking for trouble, on a number of levels. It introduced pissing contests between people, a lot of rape bullshit, safety issues...it was asking for trouble. Not that he wasn't happy to see girls. He was. In fact, this one here actually reminded him just a pinch of Corrine, something he was steadfastly ignoring entirely.
Carmel moved around the kitchen, grabbing a plate and silverware and such. She dished up his eggs and some hashbrowns. "Toast? Bacon? I'm not doing sausage today. There's Orange juice and ice tea and water in the fridge, sodas, et cetera." She turned the burners back again. "So, do you mind if I ask what got you in prison?" She asked politely. She wouldn't push if he didn't want to answer.
"I'm good with the eggs and hashbrowns." Evan told her, though it was mostly because of the other question she asked. He debated what to say. Part of him figured he should be up front about things. After all, it was bound to get asked a lot. Beyond that, he was generally an antisocial asshole, and didn't especially want anyone trying to be friendly with him. His particular crime would probably be a good deterrent. "Double homicide." he told her, watching her for her reaction. His voice lacked any tone when he said it.
She tilted her head slightly and lifted her shoulders. Wu had a much longer laundry list of crimes, and he was one of the few she considered a friend in this place, so she was not intimidated. Hell, Dom had had a bigger list, and she had really clicked with him. She felt a pang, missing him. Besides, she made it a habit not to judge anyone right off the bat. "Anything we might have heard about?" She asked instead. "Not to sound morbidly curious, but we have a few people in here who were notable enough for the papers." Even her, in her own way.
Mentally, Evan gave her a few points for not flinching. She didn't look scared or anything, so she had some stones, that was for sure. It was interesting. Again, a little tiny voice in the back of his mind tried to make a comparison, but he still ignored it. "Probably not." he said. "It was a long time ago, for starters. Not quite a decade, but getting there." Which he was aware would give her the timeframe on his crime--that he'd had to have been very young when it happened.
Carmel looked him over again, sliding the plate and silverware in front of him. "You weren't very old, unless I'm a poor judge of it," she noted. She felt for him, being in for a long time and being so young. "I've only been in for not quite two years, but my brother was in and out from a young age, too." She washed her hands and leaned back against the counter, obviously comfortable. "You don't have to tell me about it if you'd rather not, but I admit I'm curious." It was a trait she had had a long time, curiosity.
Evan took up the plate, set it on the counter he was closest to, then started to eat, still considering. "Would it matter?" he asked, honestly curious about her answer. "Why I did it, or what the circumstances were?" he asked. "What did you do to get in?" he asked as well, figuring if he was going to show his cards, she should too.
"Of course it matters. I mean, I will try not to judge either way, but sometimes you just end up in situations... Or you find yourself caught up in something." She shrugged, sending a few curls bouncing. "A couple of minor charges along with assault in the first," she said easily, not minding the question. "I made a permanent physical adjustment to the guy who assaulted me after he got my case thrown out of court," she added, giving him the vague circumstances, willing to give him more if he wanted them.
"Permanent physical adjustment?" Evan asked, thinking that definitely had a story. And one it was probably good for him to know, not that he ever planned on assaulting her. Still. Knowing that she wasn't one to shy back from someone who'd killed two people already and could apparently handle herself was good to keep in mind. He waited on the rest of his own details, to give her room to answer his question.
She smirked faintly, the first and rather rare cool expression touching her eyes. Her eyes flitted to his crotch and back up quickly. "I cut his favorite part off so he would never rape anyone again," she clarified somewhat flatly. "And so he would have to live with it, like I'll have to live with what he did to me." She pushed her hair back, looking at him this time, waiting for his reaction to her somewhat bald words.
So, the comparison to Corrine wasn't going to go to sleep that easily. Not after that story. Even if it was just the bare bones, it gave him an internal pang. This woman had lived, had...clearly done terrible things in order to do so, but she'd pushed through it. Cor hadn't. His gaze hit the floor for just a heartbeat, before he looked back up. He also didn't look intimidated, or like he was nervous for his own parts. Evan was many things, but he would shoot himself in the face before he'd rape someone. He searched for something to say, but in the end, didn't think he quite had anything that truly articulated what he might want to then.
She studied him carefully, though she didn't hide that she did it, or that she was curious about his reaction. After a second she gave him an easy smile. "Don't let me drag your breakfast down," she said. "The past is the past. I'm not sorry for what I did, even if it didn't help as much as I had hoped." Though it had helped her in some way. She just wasn't 100% sure she would do it again, though knowing her own ability to hold a grudge, it could happen.
"It didn't?" he asked. His own homicides had definitely helped him sleep better at night. It hadn't changed Corrine's fate, it didn't bring her back, but it had as a matter of fact made him feel better. So, he was curious about that part.
"It doesn't change everything. Just made me less angry over losing everything," she said. "And I admit the justice of it was great." That was all she had wanted in the first place, was justice. "It did help, but I still have terrible dreams, and I still have several precious things gone. I'm not broken, but I'm not quite whole either," she said honestly. There would always be things missing, or not quite the same. Just like it would always change people's perceptions of her.
"Are you happy?" he asked. It was possibly an odd question, considering where they were, but he wanted to know. He realized belatedly that he'd only really had a bite or two of his food before this conversation had taken a turn, and he very abruptly wasn't hungry anymore. Still, he focused his attention on Carmel.
Carmel pushed her hair back again and thought. "Considering I'm in prison? And my business and my fiance are no longer mine? Well, I'm not unhappy. And there are times I am happy, just like everyone else. I've picked up the pieces I could find and moved on as best I can now." There were even times she almost forgot for a few minutes. She smiled at him, and it was genuine. "Like I said, I'm not sorry for what I did. He deserved it. So it's not like I can judge others, really, since I'm not sorry."
"I didn't ask if you were sorry or not." Evan told her, shaking his head slightly. "Whether or not you're remorseful for what you did, that doesn't play in for me." he said. For him, it didn't. He got it. He didn't need it explained any better than she already had, really, and he wasn't asking for her to be all boo-hooey about it. She'd done what she felt like she needed to do, and he understood that part on a level that was a little too close to home. He realized deep down that he was poking at his own wounds here, and making wholly inaccurate comparisons. This woman wasn't Corrine. But there was still part of him that wanted to know if eventually she could have been okay. It was masochistic, for certain. But he couldn't quite help it. "Just want to know if you consider yourself okay."
She bit her lip thoughtfully and tugged at a curl. "I am okay, I suppose," she said. "I could lead a normal life, or close to it, I think. Aside from my sleep problems." And she had hopes that someday those would go away too. She had a core of something in her, though, that kept her pushing through.
He nodded, accepting that answer. "Good." he said, after a little too long a pause. He fell silent again at that, mind on Corrine, and his wrist felt like it itched and burned where her last words were. He knew it was his imagination, of course, but that didn't stop it from happening.
"Eat your food, sweetie," she told him kindly, reaching out to touch his arm lightly. "Don't let my past get to you. I've moved on from it, mostly." She had her hang ups, but nothing like some people.
He twitched a little when she touched him, a frown instantly lighting on his features. He shifted away, though for once wasn't really trying to be rude, it just wasn't something he was used to or necessarily comfortable with at the moment. "Not really hungry anymore." he admitted. "...you remind me of someone."
Carmel made a note not to touch him. Some people didn't like it, though it really was nice that some people here didn't mind. She had once been a very affectionate person. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to ruin your appetite," she apologized genuinely. Her head tilted slightly. "I do?"
Normally, he wouldn't have corrected the notion, but because of that strong reminder, he found himself doing so. "It isn't really you." he said. "But yeah. My best friend, growing up. Corrine." He didn't really want to talk about this. So, he wound up giving the clipped, short version. "Bad things happened, she did a swan dive off the top of a building, and I killed some of the people who hurt her in the first place."
"I'm very sorry about your friend, and for your loss. Some people don't see how to push through," she said softly, expression sympathetic. She didn't like suicide, and not only because of her religion. But part of her could understand it. "Did it help you?" She asked almost tentatively.
"I felt better, yeah." Evan said. "I know it won't bring her back, and it doesn't change anything, but I feel better." he confirmed. He'd never lost even a tiny bit of sleep over it, never second guessed his decision. At no point did he consider what he did to be the wrong call. Was it wrong to kill people? Yes. But he wasn't claiming to be morally right. In his mind, he'd done what he needed to do. He wouldn't say he was perfect, or anything else. He wouldn't say everyone should do the same. He just had done it and felt better about it. It could rest, in his mind. The others had gone to prison, and the holdouts had gotten their faces blown through the backs of their skulls.
Carmel smiled at him, and it was a smile of perfect understanding. "I get that totally," she said, though he probably knew. "I did what I needed to do, as well." It hadn't made things all better, but it had at least satisfied that craving for justice she had had.
He nodded slightly. He was quiet for a moment, then internally shook himself. "Think I'm going to get going." he told her. It was a difficult conversation to get through in the first place, and so he didn't quite know how to end it, or what to do with himself in general on that score. So, maybe it was best to just leave, and think about it later, with a clearer head.
Carmel smiled at him again, feeling bad about seeming to have driven him off. "All right. Stop by and visit sometime, I'm often in the kitchen and another pair of hands is always welcome." She liked some company when she was in here sometimes, for all cooking was soothing in and of itself. "And let me know if you have any favorites or anything. I'm always looking to make something different." She hesitated, biting her lip briefly. "Sorry to have brought you down. It was nice to meet you, though."
"Wasn't you." Evan told her, again not going his usual route. Instead, he just was honest and didn't leave her with the impression it was her fault. Or, that was his intention. "See you." he said, leaving the room. He imagined it would be outright impossible to avoid everyone in the first place, and he was going to need to come to terms with the fact that there was someone here who felt like a ghostly echo to him.