Megan Louise Mills (inspiteofall) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2012-11-01 18:55:00 |
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Entry tags: | day seven, meg |
The Problem With Looking For Answers
Characters: Meg
Setting: Her room, early afternoon
A late night combined with sheer exhaustion, both physical and emotional, meant that it was just after noon when Meg finally woke up. After using the bathroom, she gave some vague consideration towards showering or going to find breakfast but eventually dismissed both. Instead she just dragged a sweatshirt over her dress, now approaching its third consecutive day of constant wear, and pulled her hair back into something resembling a ponytail before sitting down in front of her computer.
Really she wasn't sure why she was bothering to look over the journals, aside from Kyle there was no-one else she really cared about. The only reason she could think of was that it gave her something to do, a brief outlet with which to distract herself from the reality of Dominic's absence even if it did so poorly. The news about a death was marginally more successful as a diversion but it also created an opening for the darker thoughts she'd spent the last few days trying desperately to avoid for fear of a temptation she wouldn't be able to resist. Thankfully a decent night's sleep meant she had enough fortitude to slam a lid down on those thoughts, hurriedly clicking away to look at her messages and see if there was anything from Kyle - unlike Beckah's failed attempt the day before, she actually found herself welcoming the way he wanted to be there for her. Opening her inbox, instead of a new message from Kyle there was a note from the administration and with her eyes narrowing a touch, she opened it, only to wish she hadn't as she was confronted the words Mr. Ravin has been removed due to actions and activities engaged in by yourself and another party.
At first she couldn't believe what she was reading so she went back and read it again but the words didn't change and slowly the colour drained from her face as her heart seemed to stutter in her chest. "But I couldn't..." Are you really that surprised? a voice snarled in her head cutting her off, accompanied by the mocking laugh of Bob Mills. It's always your fault, you ruin everything you touch and you always will. Meg pressed her hands to her ears and squeezed her eyes closed in a desperate attempt to quiet the thoughts in her head but it was to no avail. Even if she could silence them though, there was no escaping the truth staring out from her computer in black and white, the words as clear in her minds eye as they would have been with her eyes open.
Dominic being taken away was her fault and as the words burned into her brain, she came to the slow realisation that she had no idea of what it was that she had done.