Conversations in Room 21
Characters: Adam and Mazie Setting: His room, midday
Adam had spent the morning playing video games with Meg which wound up lacking in much in the way of real conversation. After a while he was pretty sure he could have been anyone and she wouldn’t have noticed. They parted ways when he got hungry, needing to eat something, but trying to be reassuring and promising she could find him if she needed something else at some point.
After getting food he’d completely forgot about the ‘gifts’ or whatever in the cafeteria and found himself staring at door and a mirror with his name on it. Well he figured he earned that considering his door was covered in graffiti and he’d smashed his mirror. It was a struggle but with help of the elevator he managed to get all of it, including the extra package that looked like everyone else’s with his name on it, to his room. Leaning the door against the space between his room and Mazie’s he stared at it, not sure if he was even qualified for replacing a door, let alone if he was sure he wanted to. Sure, the new door didn’t say ‘target’ in hieroglyphics, but Wren had worked hard on that. And even if he didn’t really want her to do it, she thought it would help. He could probably use all the help he could get.
Mazie’s bathtime with Autumn had ended nearly just as...oddly as it had begun. Something was amiss between them, this was the first time they’d really disagreed on something and it was throwing her for quite the loop. She decided to head back to her room, maybe close her eyes and try to ward off the last of this hangover, when she saw Adam in between their rooms and a giant door beside him. “...The hell is this?” She asked, coming up to look at the door.
“They gave me a new door,” Adam said looking at Mazie sideways, hating that secretly he was relieved she was still here. “I guess because Wren wrote all over mine. And a mirror. Though that makes sense since I broke it.” He held up his bandaged hand then shrugged. He’d opened the other package and it was just clothes, nothing terribly exciting, things very similar to what he already had been given, but that was Adam, nothing much changed.
“I can’t leave you alone, can I?” She asked, shaking her head a little as she looked back over at him. “C’mon, let’s get this door up then.” Her hair was still damp from the bath, but it smelled more like Autumn that it usually did which had Mazie in a weird happy-sad mixed feeling about it. Helping Adam was going to help her in the end, not that that was why she was doing it. “You get the Doc to look at your hand? And you wanna explain to me why you felt the need to pull a Pink and punch your mirror like in that music video?”
“No,” Adam said shaking his head. “I don’t know if I want to put it up yet.” That was sort of why he was staring at it. If he didn’t he’d wind up putting it in his room which was somewhat pointless, but hell, if anyone ever needed a door...
“I did see the Doc. Earned a couple stitches and a stern lecture,” Adam confirmed. He was probably close to needing to take the bandages off and going by to see Cal again to make sure it was healing properly, but that would probably also involve seeing Becka. Thinking of her brought a bit of a crease to Adam’s brow. Yesterday things had been fine, but where they went from here, that much they hadn’t figured out. “If I wanted to be Pink I think I’d start with dying my hair pink and buying a leather bra,” he said with a smirk. “I got angry.”
“When did you punch this thing?” She asked, which was translating in her mind to ‘how long have I not known about this’ which in turn translated to ‘how long since I’ve really seen Adam?’. This morning she’d missed it in all the hubbub and chaos that had happened here but now she was starting to feel guilty. At least he’d gone to see Cal. “You don’t know that you want to put it up? Why?” It was obvious he needed a new one, what with the graffiti on his so prevalent. ”You’d look good in a leather bra,” She teased, really unable to stop herself when he lent so easily to it.
He glanced over at Mazie. “I punched the mirror...day before yesterday. Wren defaced my door while I was seeing the Doc because my hand was bleeding. About as bad of a day as days get.” Adam looked at the door then shrugged. “What she wrote, it’s supposed to help with things. I don’t even know if believe in that mumbo jumbo, but I’m not sure I can really ignore the fact that I need something.” He rubbed at his hurt hand, not sure what to do.
“So..let me get this straight. Wren, who I’ve not met yet, wrote some crap on your door that’s supposed to help with ‘things’, whatever that means, and you want to leave it there? Take it down, put that door in your room, and put the new one up.” She looked back at him and sighed. “Adam...I’m sorry I haven’t seen you since before the day before yesterday. I shouldn’t have let that happen.”
“She was the one in the courtyard, telling people what to do,” Adam clarified about Wren, nodding to the space behind them he was purposefully not looking at. “She’s like a...I dunno fortune teller or something. She says they’re runes and they’ll help with everything in me that’s beyond broken.” He stared at the door and shrugged again before looking at her. “You were busy. It happens. I can take care of myself. Minus the mirror thing, but that was...there was a reason.” Not a good one, but a reason.
“Really? Because I leave you alone for a couple days and you come back with a screwed up door, a broken mirror, and a bandaged up hand with stitches.” Mazie gave him a look. “And you thought I was trouble. C’mon, I’ll get this door down for you, put up the new one, and we can talk. Deal?”
“The door wasn’t my fault?” Adam tried then shrugged. “Fine yeah, new door, I’ll just...keep the other one.” Which should be great. His room would be decorated with a door and Kyle’s painting.
“...Ok, so you have a new door. Do you have any screwdrivers or anything?” She asked, looking back at the door and figuring she’d just take the current one off its hinges, if at all possible. “We need some tools...” If only she had internet. Everything was made so much easier with internet.
Adam gave Mazie a bit of a look and waited for something. After a moment. “No I don’t have any tools. I barely got the door up here.” He opened the existing door the look at the hinges and shrugged. “We definitely need a screwdriver.”
“There’s probably one in the garage...” But god if that wasn’t far away. Sighing, she looked back at Adam. “Ok so new plan, we go find a screwdriver...or we just sit down in your room and you keep your crazy door for now, and just...I don’t know, hold on to this new door for whenever we have a screwdriver.” She felt a lot like plan B was the one she wanted to go with, especially considering how increasingly crappy she was feeling.
“Or the toolshed.” Which was another place Adam didn’t want to be. “Keep the door as is and just deal with it later. Maybe I’ll keep it all together and let Kyle have the extra door for an art project.” Adam pushed his graffitied door open and went to move the new one inside, though it took a moment to get the angle right, assuming Mazie would follow him.
Or help him, which she did as she reached for the door and pulled it a little towards him to head into the room with him. “So you wanna tell me why you got so angry you needed to punch a mirror? Don’t you know it’s better to punch someone else? That’s punching 101, Adam,” She teased lightly.
The help was actually pretty great because otherwise he would have banged into the doorway a few times before he got it right. That was almost inevitable. Leaning the door against the wall he stood and stared at it for a moment, not sure what to tell her. “I am pretty sure I told you not to hit anyone,” he countered giving her a wry smile before closing the door and sitting in his desk chair. “Becka...stayed here the night before it. We were talking and I dunno, cuddling maybe.” Cuddling sounded so stupid but that was probably what it was. “And I had this sort of flash thing, back to the girl...well you know. And I tried to give myself some space, to catch my breath and she got worried and asked what was going on...”
“So you punched a mirror with your pseudo-girlfriend in the room. Very Beverly Hills 90210,” She said, though knew that the jokes weren’t going to help which was why she didn’t intend on saying anymore. “Adam, are you ok? That’s...a big deal, that the reaction you had was to punch a mirror...”
“No. I told my...I’m not calling her that. I told Becka that I was freaking out because she looked like the girl that I’m responsible for killing and she freaked out. Which meant I freaked out and I sort of left. For the whole night. That morning she was gone and Wren was sending me these messages about how I had issues and she wanted to help and I needed help and I just kind of lost it.” Adam wasn’t looking at Mazie, not while he spoke, but when he finished he glanced up at her. “No. I am one hundred percent not okay.”
This was yet another thing that maybe she and Autumn would disagree on. Here it was again, someone else responsible for killing someone, and Mazie just didn’t see any danger that Adam could possibly possess. “Then what can I do to help?” She asked, deciding that she was really kind of sick and tired of mulling over the possibilities of who was and wasn’t dangerous here based on their past. Right now, Adam was a friend and he needed help and Mazie had not been there to help him before. “Tell me what we can do to get you at least back on the track to ok.”
Adam rolled his shoulders then ran a hand over his head, obviously not able to sit still. “There’s nothing you can do Mazie. I got broken a long time ago.” He didn’t sound self-deprecating, more just aware of his situation. He rubbed his face then leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. “I don’t have answers. Or what I need or if I can even be fixed. You’ve seen it, I jump at loud noises, I have crippling nightmares, I have memories that aren’t really memories, but something my mind has given me for kicks to deal with, and I don’t know what I did.”
"Then maybe we..request a therapist or something? Would you want to talk to a therapist?" She hated the sound of it, wishing the question in general would sound less like she didn't think he could handle himself, which was not the case. She just figured that if something was broken, then maybe someone qualified could help him figure out what to do to try and fix it.
“What are they going to give us? Some washed up criminal who used to be a therapist?” Adam asked and shook his head. “No. I’ll be fine.” He just needed to survive. And maybe not break anything.
“I don’t know, Adam, but they probably like you a whole lot more than they like me. And every time someone seems to ask for something, they get it. This could be a real need...because we can sit here and talk all day, but I’m gonna inevitably wind up giving you the worst advice ever and it’s not going to help in the end.”
“I don’t need advice Mazie. Well not about that. I know what’s wrong. I don’t think it can be fixed. About what I should doing about Becka is a whole other issue, but that’s not really the same thing and not nearly as crippling.” Adam shrugged one shoulder, then leaned back again.
"I'm….way not the person you should ask for any sort of relationship advice. You should be going to Autumn for that." She said, shrugging a little. "I mean…I can't even seem to get back on the same page with the girl I really want to just lay around and make out with…Apparently this whole…bomb explosion of a day has screwed everyone over. But she's got way more good advice on what you should do about Becka or with Becka or whatever than I ever will."
“I don’t think I need relationship advice...” Adam said frowning. Though he supposed asking questions about what he was supposed to be doing with a girl that said at least one person told her to stay away from him. Which she had blatantly ignored. Adam didn’t want to hurt her, but how did he know that the other person wasn’t giving sound advice. He’d probably give the same advice. Looking at Mazie he tilted his head a little. “Lay around and make out with...?”
Mazie looked back up at him and tilted her head. “Yeah. What’s the issue? I didn’t thinking you making out and cuddling with Becka was an issue, please don’t tell me you think that me doing the same with Autumn is an issue. I really like her, Adam...and we just had the weirdest conversation. We’ve not been like that before and yeah, I get it, we’ve only known each other for like less than a week and I don’t expect to know everything about her but it was just...off. And I don’t want us to be off. I want us to be on.”
Adam’s mouth opened in surprise and for a moment he just stared at her, then rolled his chair a little closer to her. “Wait. You,” he waved to Mazie herself. “You are making out with Autumn? Why on earth would I have an issue with that? My issue is that I’m not sure if I’m jealous of both of you or just want to watch. That has got to be as hot as it gets.” He’d seem Autumn. She was stunning. And Mazie was a looker, even if she didn’t think so. “I want you to be on too...” Adam grinned a little then pushed it aside. “What happened? Why was it off?”
Mazie rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m making out with Autumn. And you don’t get to watch, no one does...” She said, but then realized something she probably should have realized before. Someone was watching. They were and she needed to fix that, fast. “And I want to keep making out with her, but I also want to just..be near her and make sure she’s safe and learn about what her favorite music is...I don’t know, Adam, I’ve never really done this with anyone before but I really like her and we just...did not see eye-to-eye today. She’s giving me the same advice you would give me and it’s starting to freak me out, like maybe I’m not seeing something I should be seeing...”
“Are you sure? I’d like to...” Adam gave her his best innocent face, golden eyes wide and pleading. “You have an honest to god crush on her, it happens. I had one in high school on this girl, Anna. She was gorgeous. And amazing and she had no idea who I was. It was fun.” He smirked a little then gave Mazie a stern look. “Maybe we’re right. Which part did she say, maybe I can help.”
“Well one, no, making out with Autumn time is just for me. And besides, I don’t get to make decisions on everything, part of this would be Autumn’s choice too, but you might as well just think about it and not try to ask us because I will vehemently say no, a million times no, to you or anyone watching us make out.” Mazie leaned back a little then finally headed to his bed, plopping down on it. “She’s nervous that I’m not being cautious enough, I think. That I’m hanging out with people who might be dangerous, and before you start it’s not you, and not thinking it through or whatever...”
“Selfish,” Adam said making a face. “Guess that means you aren’t sleeping in here anymore huh?” Which kind of sucked. He doubted Becka would get it, but he had really slept that morning he’d fallen asleep with Mazie. At this point he’d only gotten a few hours in two days, maybe five, and peaceful sleep was all he could think of. “Hey Dominic told Becka she should stay away from me, so if it was me I’d understand. She wouldn’t be the first.” Adam was quiet for a bit then sighed. “She’s right. You do need to be cautious. Like I said, no one even knows why Dominic got dragged away.”
"That's not true. I'll still sleep in here. Hell, maybe both Autumn and I will come crash in your room some night and you can get to watch us just be cute..but no making out," She said again, seriously, and then quieted to listen to him. "But just because someone has violence in their past doesn't mean they're necessarily a bad person…I think we're all just shook up, riled up because of this stocks business, and I'm not doing the people I care about any favors by trying to..I don't know, make a riot happen or something but I just..I'm having a hard time with this whole thing, with everyone just going along with this…What if it was you or her out there?"
“Right because I’ll be able to sleep with the two of you in here,” Adam said rolling his eyes and wishing he could curl up next to Mazie now. He was exhausted. “Sometimes it does. There’s a lot of bad and violent people out there. I can tell you stories that will keep you up at night as to what they’re capable of.” He shook his head. “I won’t end up there. Autumn won’t. I don’t plan on doing anything to wind up there and I doubt she will. They did something wrong those two. And I’m fine with them hurting for it. I’m still creeped out by Ryan.”
"I don't want to get into this again because the only thing that's going to happen is me ending up feeling like I'm missing something major here. I hate this, Adam. I don't want them out there in those stocks, I'd rather we have locked them in a room and dealt with this ourselves. But I'm not talking about that now. I just…I want to give the people here that I've met that have dangerous, maybe violent pasts…I want to give them a chance. And I just think this whole stocks ordeal is ruining a lot of things." Mazie said, shaking her head a little as she moved and curled up on her side on the bed.
Adam made it about halfway through what she was saying before he gave in, moving to the bed even if he sat and shifted so she could put her head on his leg if she wanted to. “It doesn’t really make me comfortable either, but did you see some of those guys? Some of them would decide ‘punching someone’ would be an acceptable punishment I’m sure. Ryan was creeping in Becka’s room. I want to punch him. I can’t see why someone bigger than me wouldn’t want to.” He closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a tired breath softly. “This is their chance. Being here. If they abuse it...well I don’t want to give them chances.”
Mazie shifted, head on Adam's leg as she closed her eyes. "I just..think that some of these people, no matter what their past is, deserve a chance to show that they're more than that, maybe. I don't know. I kind of hate how today started, how it's going..sort of feel like those gifts downstairs, whatever they are…they feel like hush money to me and it freaks me out, Adam. This whole place…I feel so trapped, like they're just watching and scrutinizing and judging everything we do. Like we're little pawns in a big game of chess for people somewhere far far away. I hate it and I don’t want us to lose us, you know? I don’t want them to snuff out what we have remaining to our voices, our opinions, just ourselves...”
“I think they do too, but they didn’t.” He looked down at her frowning a little. “The gifts aren’t hush money. They gave them to us for doing our journal posts right? If we were getting things for putting people in the stocks we’d get them tomorrow.” He thought about it and shrugged. “I guess I don’t care because there isn’t much to me. I’m guessing people got cool stuff and I got two shirts that look just like the shirt I have on, same with two pairs of pants and a door and mirror. Not much of a gift, except the one that prolongs laundry. You don’t have to revolt to stay you Mazie. You just stay you. Of course we’re trapped, we’re in prison, but you’ve got your computer and I’m not getting assaulted in the showers. They were judging everything we did in prison and when we get out of here, someone else will be judging. It’s life.”
Mazie looked up at Adam, hating that that small little bit of information, him getting assaulted in the showers, was said so casually. Or maybe not that it was said, but more that he had it to say, that it had happened at all. "I don't know, I still feel like the gifts are weird. And I don't want them taking away us, Adam, and it feels like they are. Autumn's right, you're right, they've already succeeded in splitting the group and now two people, two people that are basically outsiders now, are stuck out in those stocks. I just feel like…I just hate this. I have a computer, yeah, but I’ve only succeeded in doing...one thing with it.” Lowering her voice, she turned a little and glanced up his way again. “I managed to get it so that you can post anonymously here. Really, truly anonymously.”
“So they’re weird. But I did need a new mirror. I’m a week out from my hair growing out and I’d like to see just how bad my bedhead looks,” Adam teased. “I still think they did something wrong. I still don’t like the idea that Becka could have been in her room when Ryan walked in there. What would he have done.” It gave Adam chills to think about and it made him wonder what would have been too much for Becka to forgive. Raising one eyebrow he looked at her curiously. “Really?”
"Well, you should have a mirror, especially if you're going to go all Krusty the Klown with your hair." Mazie quieted again for a moment. "I just wish this was more cut and dry than it seems to be. Everyone's up in arms, everything's different…it's just strange, really, and I don't know that I feel confident that I'm making the right decision about this…not really, anymore. I just know that I am having a hard time feeling any other way about it than I already do."
Looking back up at him, she nodded again. "Yeah, it's really easy. I'll show you. I set it up so that everyone here can use it, but I just have to show you. And then you can feel free to show others, and so on and so forth. This way, we can say whatever we want without any real consequences because they don't know, as far as I know. I did the best I could with what I have and right now, this is what I have." Well that and the ability to read private journals, but everyone already knew their private journal entries were getting read by The Man. What was one more person?
“It doesn’t look that bad. It’s not green for starters,” Adam said shaking his head. “I haven’t had it long in a long time.” Since it was ripped out of his head. “That’s what I like about you, that it bothers you, but it’s real out there. And somewhere beyond here, there’s a real life waiting. I want that part.”
“I don’t know if I have anything worth saying,” he said with a shrug. “But that’s pretty impressive. And in just a week. Just think of what you can accomplish.” He tugged at a strand of her hair from where it was getting his jeans wet.
"You don't necessarily have to have anything to say. You can just type your favorite kind of weather if you want. Whatever it is, it's a way for you to say anything you want without them knowing it's you. And I thought that maybe that's something we could all use, you know? We're all test subjects here, but we might as well fight back as much as we can. I'm not going to take what they give us lying down and if this is the start of getting to put up some walls for us, then that's fine by me." Mazie said, smiling back at him a little. "I'll show you how to use it in a little bit. Let's just sit here a while..and you can tell me about how making out with Becka was."
“Just don’t fight too much Mazie. There’s not a way out of here yet. And god only knows what’s on the other side.” Adam couldn’t help but roll his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall. “It was..distracting. She’s not done anything, like at all because of some stupid thing that happened in high school.”
“...I’ve not done anything,” Mazie said seriously, watching him. “It’s not a big deal, maybe factors just weren’t right for her. What does it matter if you like her enough to want to do stuff with her, if she’s actually done anything or not?”
“I know you haven’t,” he said, gently, letting her know he believed her. Leaning back more he let out a sigh. “It’s not the factors weren’t right. She turned down guys who asked, dumped them before third dates, all that. It doesn’t matter no, but at the same time I wonder.” About what he wasn’t sure, just that it was eating at the back of his mind.
“You need to stop. You don’t really get to concern yourself with why Becka made whatever choices she made in high school. You really want to ruin your make out and cuddling time thinking about what didn’t happen in high school? C’mon, Adam, just be there instead. Just..focus on her, who cares what happened outside of that?” Mazie asked, looking back up at him before shaking her head a little.
“What she did until she met me,” Adam corrected. “Into her twenties.” He sighed and rubbed his face. “I know it’s stupid. I shouldn’t even care. She was telling me about it and I kept thinking of the few girls I managed to talk to in my life and how I was turned down and how shitty it is to turn down a guy because years later you’re still sure he’s going to do something some asshole did four years before. It could have been me that got turned down, over nothing, and I would have spent days wondering why I wasn’t good enough.”
"…You need to stop right there." Mazie said, shaking her head again. "I'm twenty four and this is the farthest I've gotten. Stop putting an age on it. And secondly, this has absolutely nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with her, her thoughts, her feelings…her decisions. When did you decide that her not wanting to do something with any guy until now has anything at all to do with you? One, you're definitely good enough but none of that matters until she is ready for it to matter. Stop making this about you and start trying to realize it's about her. Just because you're a different guy doesn't mean she's obligated to jump right in and get going with you from wherever you want to start this at."
“It’s not the age it’s... I don’t know what it is.” Adam slumped against the walll more and sighed. “Maybe I’m just freaking out about having a girl not jump into bed with me and leave the moment she wakes up or something. Also if one more person tells me I’m sweet, I’m gonna break the new mirror.”
"Ok, well stop being sweet but also stop thinking that Becka's decisions about this are revolving around you. Because they're really not. They're hers and it's kind of insulting to insinuate that you think she should just go ahead and jump right into bed with you whenever you want. Doesn't exactly sound like you're trying to be much different than those guys who might have treated her like ass in high school…Not saying you're the same, just saying you're approaching this the wrong way. Also…it's been six days. Chill out."
“Okay I was so not saying that she should get into bed with me. Seriously. I don’t even know why she wants to make out with me, let alone...the rest. I’m not stupid enough to stop it, I just am curious. That’s all.” He made a face. “Kyle said that too, about me being sweet. ‘You’re really sweet Adam’.”
"So I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and let you think you weren't saying that, but just know that that was pretty much…exactly what it sounded like." Sighing, she rolled her eyes. "Can you not just embrace being sweet? Damn, it's not an insult." Mazie shook her head again. "You're a conundrum, Adam. What's wrong with being sweet sometimes?"
“I never said I was good with what I said,” Adam grumbled, but he was more frustrated with himself. “I’m just anxious about it. She wants candles and flower petals and...yeah. It’s still me.” He poked her when she rolled her eyes at him. “No I can’t just take it. It’s a brush-off. It comes with a head pat. Why can’t I be impressive and interesting. You don’t even get sweet.”
"Then get some damn candles and flower petals. How bad could it be? It would smell great, for one…" Mazie said, shrugging. "If you like her, don't you want to try and give her the best, most romantic first time ever anyway?" Glancing back his way, she shrugged. "I don't get sweet because I'm not sweet. And you are impressive and interesting, but that doesn't mean you're not also sweet. But if you don't want people saying your sweet, tell them not to. Or write something anonymously about how…'insert adjective here' Adam is."
“What about me seems like I could pull off romantic? Seriously. Anything. Please tell me I have some hope for that because all I see is me setting her room on fire.” He rolled his eyes again. “I think if I post ‘Adam’s ruggedly handsome’ someone will figure out it’s me. Since it’s you know...a lie. I don’t know how to be any way other than sweet, but I just wish it wasn’t such a trait that people seem to hate.”
"You know…just putting in some effort and not whining about it is probably romantic enough." Mazie shut her eyes. "God, Adam…we can be anything we want to be. Do I need to sing you a song? You are whatever you want to be, especially here. They gave you a second chance here, for the same reason they gave everybody else a second chance. Stop letting yourself be defined by what other people say you are. You are handsome. If I have to continually tell you this, I'm going to punch a mirror."
That made him think of Kyle about how what people thought didn’t matter. “Alright alright. Don’t get all meaningful on me. I don’t need a song. I’ll work on being less...sweet and more ruggedly handsome.” Which he doubted he could. “Can I trust you? You like girls.” He nudged her head with his knee, grinning a little.
She grinned a little when he nudged her with his knee. “For a long time, I didn’t really feel one way or another with anyone. Guess it just matters to me who the person is, not whether they’re a guy or a girl. She’s the first person I’ve wanted to do anything even close to this with. I did kiss a guy once before I started getting homeschooled but we were kids and I don’t think it counted...But Autumn...she’s the first person I really want to just...do this with. I got to sit with her in a tub today and wash her hair and it was just...really awesome, even if we aren’t seeing eye-to-eye right now on this whole ordeal. That’s the kind of stuff I never really expected I’d want to do with anyone.”
Adam opened his mouth in sort of a pained ‘oh’. “You can not tell me stuff like that. I mean that is awesome and hot, but that is all I’m going to be thinking about.” He grinned a little and nudged her again. “I get that, about who the person is.” Kyle and those stupidly big blue eyes filtered into his mind, but Adam pushed the thought away. “Well that’s good then, that you found someone.”
Mazie shook her head a little at him, a smile on her lips. “I really like her, Adam,” She said suddenly, looking back at him. “I don’t want to upset her and I did that a lot to day, apparently. What do I do when I don’t have...flowers or gifts to give her or something. How do I make things better?” She nudged him with her elbow. “Well, you’re on your way to finding someone, it seems.”
“You apologize?” Adam offered. “Or write her a note. That helps too I guess. There’s got to be something you have that you can give her.” He rolled his eyes a little and sighed. “I don’t know. I am trying not to get my hopes up.”
She could apologize or write her a note but somehow she wanted to give Autumn something. “I don’t...have a lot of things. No pictures, really...I can’t cook. The only things I’m good at are on the computer and it’s not like I can really make her a mixed cd without any way to get it to her computer really. I mean, hell, she requested a space invaders game for me...I want to request a bunch of flowers or something for her, but I am definitely not going to get them now, not with the way I’m going with these...people.” Running a hand through her hair, Mazie was quiet for a moment and then smirked. “Paper flowers...I watched a couple videos, made my mom some for mother’s day...I can make her paper flowers...” Looking back again at Adam, she shifted a little to get a better view on his eyes. “Don’t try to put any pressure on it. Just be you, with her, enjoying each other’s company. Other things will come from that.”
“Want me to ask for something?” Adam asked her, leaning back against the wall more. “Though she’d probably like the homemade stuff better. But if you want, I don’t think I’ve asked for anything yet.” He rubbed at his hair, needing something to do with his hands and shrugged. “I doubt that I will succeed in not putting pressure on things, but I will try.”
“Maybe. Let me see how these paper flowers go over first. I’ll even make you a couple for Becka or something...I should try to find some nicer paper than just regular notepads. Or like...markers or something. I’ll go searching in a bit.” She smiled at him. “You’re gonna be great, just cut yourself some slack and do the same for her. Remember, it’s only been six days.”
“Activity room,” Adam said with a nod. “There’s a bunch of that sort of stuff in there.” He should know, he’d spent an entire night there once. “It has been a stressful six days.”
“Activity room, got it. Thanks.” She watched him for a moment and smiled, reaching up to punch lightly at his shoulder. “Deep breaths, in and out, and just...be, Adam. Hell, just be Adam for that matter.”
“What did I say about hitting people?” Adam asked rubbing at his shoulder even if the punch Meg had laid on him earlier had hurt far worse. “Yeah that’s where I get hung up, on who Adam is these days.” He sighed a little then tugged at her hair, just because she’d punched him.
She narrowed her eyes at him a little and then shrugged. “Stop thinking about it and you’ll find out.” Wasn’t it as simple as that? The person she was came out when Mazie did the least thinking beforehand. Maybe the same stood for Adam.
He shook his head. “I really hope it’s that simple.” It didn’t feel that simple. Not to him. Maybe he was wrong, and that was him still thinking too hard, but thinking was mostly how he worked.