Adam Samuels (adamsammy) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2013-09-17 18:48:00 |
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Entry tags: | adam, adam and mazie, day twenty-three, mazie |
Here For You
Characters: Adam and Mazie
Setting: Over the phone, afternoon
Adam was smiling by the end of the messages with Kyle, setting up the call and hitting the button for Mazie’s room. He wasn’t sure how to deal with things, but he supposed he could walk through it with her, see what she thought, make sure she was okay.
“...Yeah?” Mazie answered, not exactly pumped about talking about this again, but at least it was Adam. At least it was someone who might understand. Even though it was her friend, the curt tone in her voice wasn’t really very friendly and she hated that she was having a hard time controlling it.
“Still mad?” Adam inferred, resting his arms on his desk. He was still watching Kyle on the camera feeds, for the moment at least, but just as a slight distraction from Mazie’s tone.
Mazie sighed, dropping her head to the table as she closed her eyes. “Yes…” She’d had an ok morning, actually, but just being in her room, thinking over and over what had happened had put her right back in a shitty mood.
“Want to tell me about it,” Adam said, fingers grazing his monitor as he watched Kyle move, feeling stupid about it, but it was grounding.
“...You said you were going to see Autumn. You tell me about what happened there and maybe I’ll tell you about what happened after…” Why was she being so snippy with him? She couldn’t tell, but she couldn’t stop it either, and she hated herself for it but that feeling was less poignant than the betrayal she still felt.
Adam pulled his fingers away from the computer, letting out a soft sigh. “She told me what happened. That you were upset about it. That things are not good. And she’s waiting on you to figure out what you want to do.”
“Yeah? And I don’t know what the fuck I want to do, Adam. She had sex with someone else! Sex with Glitch. And we never talked about this, yeah I get that, but really? She had sex with </i>Glitch</i>,” Mazie repeated, feeling nauseous again with images floating through her head like they had been earlier.
“Am I supposed to know this Glitch guy?” Adam asked. He was thinking he should, if he was friends with Mazie, but Adam wasn’t sure. “I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the part where you didn’t talk about it, but she didn’t think you’d want that. I guess...maybe it’s because I don’t think like she does. I’d be exclusive even if it wasn’t a real thing, or physical thing.”
He tapped his fingers on his desk. “Are you more upset that it was with this guy you know or that it happened?”
“What the fuck does that even mean, Adam?” Mazie asked, frowning. “Did she say she didn’t want to be with me anymore?” Because that, that was something else. That stopped her for a moment, but only a moment and then she was back, an annoyed groan in her voice. “Glitch. He is...was...I don’t know, a friend but...Why does it even fucking matter what I’m pissed about?! I have a right to be pissed!”
“No. That’s not at all what she said. She’s worried about losing you.” Adam shook his head, but then realized that she couldn’t see him. “No. I think it matters so you figure out what you are gonna do. If you’re upset it was him and not as much she did it, you could get around it. If not...then maybe you really need to talk to her about what you want.”
“I don’t fucking know what I’m upset about other than the fact that this happened!” And no one had told her about it, and Autumn seemed to want to keep doing this with her friend, and Mazie didn’t know if she was a big enough person to not be hurt by this in the future. “She wanted time from me. This shit only happened like a day ago, Adam! I think I deserve some fucking time.”
“You deserve all the time in the world Mazie.” Adam sighed. “I’m just trying to help. I want you to be okay. I hate that this happened.” And he was relieved that it wouldn’t happen with Kyle. He wouldn’t be angry, he’d be heartbroken.
“Yeah, this is fucking bullshit and I get to have as much time as I want. Because this shit is so screwed up…” Sighing, Mazie looked back at her own computer, a blinking cursor on a strip of code that didn’t even really have a purpose. “I need a new hobby.”
“That’s fine Mazie, just trying to figure out where your head is, to see if I can do something to help.” He looked confused for a moment, not sure what she was talking about. “Well I don’t have one, but what hobby are we talking about and what does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m supposed to get a new hobby! The cards said so. The cards said I needed to do new things, new productive things, and I don’t even know what that means but I want one.” Mazie said, looking back at the blinking cursor on her computer screen. “But I’m only good at this shit…”
Cards...Adam thought for a moment, then nodded. “Wren’s cards, right. She did a reading?” He shrugged, forgetting again that she couldn’t see him. “You don’t have to be good at something to make it your hobby. Just...want to try it. Kyle would teach you how to paint or draw or something.”
“Yeah, she did a reading. And it was...not great all around. But I need a hobby. Trying to look on the positive stuff that happened with the cards.” She thought on that then shrugged again, also forgetting he couldn’t see her. “Maybe that might be nice.” She would by no means be as good as Kyle was at it, but it might be nice and different enough that it could be interesting to try. “...I will miss you and Rusty, from B. I don’t know why they decided to change me...single me out and make me leave.”
“You should do it. Then you can help keep an eye on him for me,” Adam said. “He’ll do it. It’ll give him a reason to leave his room too.” He cut his eyes back to the screen and shook his head. “Maybe you didn’t belong over here. They’ve got some sort of plan.” Or so he hoped. All he hoped is that it was over soon.
“Why do I need to keep an eye on Kyle?” She asked, confused a little by that. Kyle hadn’t seemed super happy but why would he need to be kept an eye on? “A reason to leave the room would be nice, though. But if They have plans, they can shove them. I hate their tests.”
“Because I can’t. And...I don’t want him to be unhappy?” Adam said. “And since I can’t hang out with him, I want him to hang out with someone.” He sighed a little and looked around. “Can I tell you something and you won’t blab is around? To anyone?”
“Who the hell am I gonna tell, Adam? Like everyone I really talked to is over there.” She said, sighing as she closed her eyes again. “Tell me anything, you know that. I’m not gonna blab it.” Especially with explicit instructions not to blab it.
“Well more, I was worried you were going to tell Kyle. Or...right.” Autumn was his first thought, but they weren’t really talking were they? “So...um,” Adam drug his fingers through his hair. “Ky and I are trying.”
It took a long moment for Mazie to process that and she tilted her head a little, letting the words settle in her mind. “That’s..good, right?” Right now she was probably not the best person to be excited about this news, but she didn’t want to let Adam think she wasn’t happy for him. Which she was, because it was Adam and Kyle and she’d yelled at Kyle about it, but it was still a lot for her.
“Yeah,” Adam said enthusiastically, nodding. “Real good. Just...not sure what to call it or what’s going on. Or who should know. But I had to tell someone.” He looked at his desk. “And I know it’s kind of the last thing you want to hear.” It would be if he was in her shoes. “Can I help with anything?”
Yeah, it was the last thing she wanted to hear, but internally she was happy for Adam...even if only just a little bit of it was coming through right now. “Well...good for you guys,” She said, really trying to sound happy for her friend. She shook her head a little bit. “I don’t know, Adam. This is one big, giant clusterfuck and I don’t know what to do about it right now.”
“Then don’t think on it. Try something new. Go for a run. Just lay in the grass in the courtyard.” He was trying and he knew she wasn’t happy for him. He could tell. “Ask him to teach you. It’ll help.”
Mazie was quiet for a moment then she pressed her head to the table. “You shouldn’t be trying to make me feel better when I can’t even be excited for you. I wanted this to happen from the start, too...It’s not fair to you that I suck this bad right now.”
“Hey, don’t do that. I’m here for you, you’re here for me. That’s a friend thing right? But you should know. Don’t go telling him I told you, but maybe it’ll help you two keep from fighting.” Adam knew Mazie and Kyle hadn’t gotten along at first. “I’m fine. Promise.”
“We’re not really fighting anymore,” She said, resting her head on her arms as she looked back at her computer. “And if you guys are trying, I am happy for you. Just...I guess, not as much as I should be right now.”
“Well, don’t fight with him.” He shook his head, even if she couldn’t see it. “It’s okay Maze. You don’t have to be. But we’ll do this again right?”
“So you’re just..done talking to me now?” Great, she already had so much else fucked up shit happening that she somehow managed to let that get into her conversation with Adam and piss him off. “I am happy for you, Adam. You should believe me.”
“No. I’m not done talking to you, I’m making sure we make some sort of plan to do this regularly,” Adam said shaking his head. “I’m here as long as you want to Maze. Just say the word. Keep the phone on all night.”
That was a relief. She let out a small sigh and nodded a little to herself. “Maybe..maybe for just a little while longer.” She didn’t want to admit that having the phone on all night actually didn’t sound so bad, so instead she would settle for a little while longer. “Maybe if Kyle teaches me to paint, I’ll paint you a picture.”
“As long as you want.” Adam smiled propping his chin in his hand. “Really? Awesome. I could use one. This room is bare. I had some great stuff in my room.” Which made him sad. He missed his tree painting. Maybe he could convince Kyle to make him something new for when the blocks weren’t cut off anymore.
“Yeah, I only got one half of the things back that I really wanted. They have my desktop but I got my laptop back, which was a consolation I guess, but I still would have preferred both of my computers. And some extra clothes. Still wearing those same damn ones from before.”
“I lucked out that Chuck gave me some of his clothes. Though they kind of fit a little tighter than mine. Kyle likes it, but I feel a little weird.” Adam sighed. “I want my shield he made me though. It’s like him plus Wren in one thing.”
“Who is Chuck?” She quieted for a moment and nodded even though he couldn’t see her. “Yeah, well...hate to break it to you but doesn’t look like anyone from the second floor is gonna get any of their shit back. I think it’s gone. Or held hostage by our Overlords…” Even though she did sort of want to make him some sort of shield now and send it his way. Maybe she’d create something small for him, a shield even though it wasn’t really the one he wanted.
“Charlie. Wren calls him Chester and I’m pretty sure none of them are his real names anyway. So I call him Chuck. He doesn’t like it.” Adam shrugged his shoulders. “That’s half the fun I guess. It pisses him off.”
“Oh. Charlie. Ok. Haven’t met him yet,” Mazie said, looking back at her computer. “But I’m glad he gave you clothes. That’s good. I would steal some from you but I can’t even get to you anymore. And that better not be a forever thing because I will burn this place to the ground.”
“He’s Wren’s boyfriend,” Adam clarified. “It’s good to be dressed though yeah. And I hope it’s not forever. I don’t think I can do forever.” His eyes were back on the camera feed into Kyle’s room again, trying not to sigh.
“We won’t let it be forever. We’ll let them do what they need to be doing, but we won’t let them take us from each other forever. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen. Deal with the systems if I need to.” Even if it was just to get Adam and Rusty over here, maybe she could try.
Adam had been nodding along, thinking he agreed with most of it at least until the. “Wait. Stop. No. Nothing stupid Mazie okay? Don’t do something to piss them off. You can’t let them take you.”
“They already have. I’m over here now. If the got rid of me, I’d expose their asses so quick their heads would spin,” She said, still staring at the broken code on her computer. Sure, she had like...zero ammunition to actually go after The Administration pretty much ever, but that didn’t really stop her from speaking her mind about them. And while being in A Block wasn’t necessarily the worst thing for her right now, she hadn’t realized how much she missed Adam until this conversation and it was starting to suck a little more each minute.
He shook his head. “Don’t. Just...be careful Mazie. Take care of yourself. I at least can see you on the cameras. I can find you when they open these doors again. Just be cautious.”
“I’m just so tired of being cautious,” She said softly, but put her head down on the desk again and looked at her code instead of the camera feed. “I did that, you know. The cameras. Me and Glitch and Rusty...it wasn’t really supposed to happen that way, but we shut them down and then They went dark for a day and now the camera’s are on everyone’s feeds.”
“You did what?” Adam said, sitting up more. “You’re the reason they went down?” He looked at the screen a little. “You were trying to shut them down?” He’d thought of her when he saw it, when he and Kyle had woken up to find the feeds gone. He’d also been terrified of what might happen.
"Yeah, I was. And I don't know, I mean they came back up and now everyone can see them? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like they're just toying with me." She shrugged a little. "It's over now and nothing happened because of it.”
“They might be. I don’t know...I like being able to see.” He could see Kyle, which helped with the separation. “I didn’t like when they were off.”
“Well, looks like they’re staying, for at least now.” Mazie shrugged. “I’m trying not to look at them right now. Don’t want to see some shit that might be happening on them.” Which wasn’t really fair, because it probably wasn’t happening again, but Mazie wasn’t feeling very fair right now.
“Well...keep an eye on me instead. Nothing interesting happens here.” He smiled and rested his chin on his arms. “You’re gonna be okay Mazie. Promise.”
She still didn’t want to look at the cameras, not even to watch Adam. Once she was watching them, it’d be too tempting, too easy to change her focus to somewhere else. “Yeah, well...at least one of us thinks so.”
“That’s better than nothing,” Adam reminded her, smiling a little. “ Promise. I’ll make sure of it.”