Adam Samuels (adamsammy) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2013-08-18 00:16:00 |
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Entry tags: | adam, adam and hunter, day twenty-two, hunter |
A Better Success Rate of Good Conversations
Characters: Adam and Hunter
Setting: B Block, mid morning
Adam hadn’t slept any better, though he’d tried, laying on the bed for most of the night, staring at the ceiling, trying not to focus on how much the room smelled differently. He failed miserably, but sleep and exhaustion won out and eventually he’d crashed, only to be jerked awake by his own screams, falling off the bed in the middle of a nightmare. His blood sugar was completely out of whack when he tested it, which meant he was wide awake, treating the high with water and insulin, staying awake by idly re-reading messages on his computer.
The new icon only half jumped out at him, something different than the music program or the movie player and without much thought, he clicked on it, not sure what he was looking at until he opened the video feed, just a series of what appeared to be security camera feeds, like in the movies. Adam wasn’t sure what he was looking at, at least not until he spotted one that looked like the courtyard. Clicking on it made it larger, showing a mostly abandoned space he’d spent many hours in. Going back to the multiple screens he scanned them, clicking on the occasional one and finding they weren’t just the pool and the kitchen, but rooms as well. An instance of hope surged through him and though there was Autumn’s voice in his head telling him it was a bad idea, Adam scanned the mini screens until he found the one he wanted.
In an instant Kyle was on his screen, painting furiously, obviously having either been up all night or awake much earlier than he needed to be. Adam knew it wasn’t right, that it was spying and in particular he shouldn’t be spying on Kyle, but he couldn’t help it. Adam probably killed an hour, sitting there, cheek against his knee while he watched Kyle paint.
It took a lot of effort to pull himself away, but eventually he did, knowing he still needed to meet someone new since they’d posted that message and he’d failed the day before. He didn’t actually turn off the computer and Kyle’s video feed, but he did walk away, dressed in a shirt that wasn’t his, but at least it was clean. His first stop was the kitchen, finding food and then he was wandering, exploring the block. Half of him was looking for someone new to meet, the other half was just idly killing time, wondering what Kyle was doing now and if it’d changed in the past thirty minutes or so.
Hunter had picked an apple, and was sitting against one of the trees, mostly just trying to mind his own business. He was getting to that point where he was thinking he needed to get the fuck out of there, again. It seemed like every conversation he had was a shitty one, with people blowing up at him all the time for no reason. So to say he wasn't really looking for anyone to talk to would have been an understatement. However, he wasn't unobservant, and he did note some other guy wandering around, and he gave a nod of greeting before going back to eating his apple.
It wasn't until he spotted the other guy that Adam realized he hated meeting new people. He really did. But he was supposed to, and Wren was right, he needed it, so he drifted towards the guy with a wave. "Hey."
"Hi." Hunter said. "I should probably throw out there right away that I'm not good at this. It seems like the majority of conversations I have turn out pretty wrong. So, with that in mind, decide if you want to talk to me or not, and we'll go from there." At this point he felt the need to disclaimer things, he was that low in his headspace.
Adam actually looked around like the guy might be addressing someone that wasn’t him, but there wasn’t anyone else around. “Sounds kinda familiar actually. I’m at about a fifty percent success rate.” It was a little bit deadpanned, obviously a joke, but there was truth behind it. He actively considered if this was worth it, if it might go wrong, and wound up figuring this was his best shot. His luck, they’d get along swimmingly. “So what’s your problem with making friends?”
"Better than my average." Hunter said. "And it isn't even about making friends, I apparently can't even hold conversations." he corrected. He wasn't getting into making buddies or whatever. He was having issues even getting past a first meeting.
Adam invited himself to sit, even if Hunter hadn’t offered. “Why that then? You seem reasonable enough.” Even if Adam was basing it off of two seconds, the guy hadn’t tried to kill him or yell at him yet. In Adam’s book, it was off to a good start.
"I'm not all that friendly these days." Hunter said. "But I haven't been trying to be an asshole, just seems like that's what happens every time I talk to someone. Half the time, it gets thrown out there before I even really realize what's up. So, I have no clue. All I know is I'm wondering if I shouldn't just ditch the place."
Adam nodded. "That happens. Maybe because you aren't trying not to be one." He paused for a moment. "I thought about ditching. I had a chance, go back, have a retrial or have my case looked at again, maybe get off this time around, but I couldn't go back to prison. Not matter how shitty things get here, there was worse."
"For me, not really," Hunter said, though one look at the other guy would say they would have had different prison experiences. "People left me alone for the most part, and I kept to myself. I didn't have girls having nonsensical conversations with me that I really don't even know how they twisted around in the first place. I was going to just not sign in to the new room the other day. My brother talked me out of it."
Adam gave Hunter a once over and that made sense. "Yeah, you'd probably have less issues. I'm bigger than I look, but not made for it." He looked at his hands and shrugged, focusing on Hunter instead. "You lost me in the middle there about the girl..." He was sure it was important but it didn't make sense. "I almost didn't leave the other block. I didn't want to leave Kyle."
"I was lost too, I'd explain better, but it was just that much of a mess. Not worth it." Hunter said. "I guess if you didn't leave, you would have to leave anyway, since they're removing people who didn't, right?"
“You sure you don’t want to talk about it? I can listen. I’m not that bad at the listening part. And when it comes to doing stupid shit because of girls or whatever, I’ve been there.” Adam was doing his best to seem open because honestly? This guy seemed like he could use someone who just listened. “And yeah, that was sort of the motivation for leaving. Sucks not having either one of my best friends here.”
Hunter shrugged. "It wasn't even about that. She seemed like she turned it into that? But I don't get why. It wasn't like I was into her, or...anything like that. I don't know. I'll stick with 'not worth it', though thanks for the offer." he added. When Adam said 'either one of my best friends', he had to smirk very faintly, shaking his head. "You realize you started this conversation with the idea that you strike out with people, but now you're talking about not just one but two best friends? Even if you do strike out sometimes, that's nothing to sneeze at."
“That’s a little off the wall. Who was it?” Adam didn’t think he’d seen anything like that, but he supposed it could happen. Hunter’s comment brought out a small smile in him, shaking his head. “I know it sounds good, but...well Wren’ll give anyone a chance. I just don’t think that many people have taken a chance on Wren. And honestly the first time I really talked to her I was yelling at her. She never really had to like me, so that’s all her. And Kyle....” Adam’s smile went away and he looked at his hand, picking at one nail. “We’re actually trying not to be friends anymore.”
Hunter watched Adam's body language. "No one has to like anyone." he said. "But if she does, then, take some credit. Obviously she sees something in you." he offered. "And obviously there's a story there, what is it?" he asked about the Kyle thing.
Adam glanced at Hunter. “If she was here, she’d say there’s someone like that out there for you. Who sees something. Because you’re right she does. She has faith in me even when I lose it. Which is often.” At mention of Kyle, Adam drug fingers through his hair. It was growing in properly now, actually long enough to run his hand through. “There’s a novelization of an epic movie worth of a story there,” he admitted, dry humor seeping into his tone. “I fell for someone who both likes me and can’t like me. So we’re...taking our mandated time apart as real time apart.” Which was completely defeated by the fact that Adam had spent the too long watching Kyle paint on the camera.
Sounded like that girl would be irritating, though only because Hunter didn't believe that--but he really would want to. "Sounds complicated." he offered. He'd never been into guys, so he didn't know if it worked the same as it did with women. Though look where his taste in women had gotten him. So he wasn't the person to really offer up anything to anyone, he guessed.
“Is there a level above complicated?” Adam asked, managing a smile. “Yeah. It’s a mess. But...well I’m over here. I don’t have much else in the way of choices.” He shrugged his shoulders. “So...beyond not being able to make friends, why would you want to leave?”
Hunter considered what to tell Adam. In the end, he went for the simple version of the truth. "The girl who ruined my life is here. I don't want to be around her. Ever. And my brother and I are both here, and we don't know if we'll be allowed to still be brothers once we 'graduate' if either of us do. But neither one of us is that okay with just leaving here then never seeing each other again, being off, living entirely separate lives."
And Adam thought his story was complicated. “How’d she ruin your life?” The other part was a bit more complicated. “I don’t think you could ever stop being brothers. I mean I know, new identities and all that, but you’re still related. Even with different names. Make a plan to meet up if you get out and go there. Still not sure there’s anything stopping you. That’s my plan.” Or it had been. There’d been Paris, then the beachhouse. Adam wasn’t sure if any of that was still a real plan or not.
"Something about it wouldn't feel the same." Hunter admitted. "And She ruined my life a lot of ways. Do you really want the gorey, pathetic, ugly details?"
“Which something?” Adam asked. He hadn’t done much thinking about getting out, even if he was close to being a candidate. He was innocent at least by the law. He probably should have thought more about getting out, but it seemed too far-fetched. He was still deciding if Becka getting out had made sense or not. “Um, yeah. I think I do. Who was the last person you told them to anyway?”
"I don't know. It just wouldn't feel right, not being brothers on paper too, I guess." Hunter said. It was hard to describe. "And..." he trailed off, realizing that he didn't know. He guessed maybe he hadn't really told anyone the whole story. "I don't know." he opted for.
Adam considered that then nodded. “I can see that I guess. I didn’t have a brother or a sister...not really at least.” And the man he’d considered almost his brother had turned out to be awful. “There you go then. Tell me.” And Adam settled himself, ready to listen, no matter how long the story was. It was easier than talking about the greek tragedy that was his own life. And hey, maybe he could even help.
Hunter eyed Adam for a moment, then sighed, and rubbed the back of his neck. "She was my girlfriend first. I fell for her really fast. Unfortunately, so did my brother. Though, to his credit, when he hooked up with her he didn't know she was with me. That came later. Long story short, she convinced us to help her with a heist. Things went epically sideways from there, in what I'm sure would be considered a cliche plot device on a tv show."
“Did he figure it out? That she was with you? Because that sounds like something someone would have figured out mid-heist.” Adam was pretty sure the story took the cake though. “And more an old gangster film or something like that.”
"It was a lot less glamorous than an old gangster flick." Hunter said. "And eventually he did. He says she said she'd handle it, and convinced him not to say anything until the heist was over. She told him that she really loved him, wanted to be with him, shit like that. Meanwhile, I was unaware of their affair at all, because obviously I'm a dumbass, but she never said a thing to me. I thought we were solid, right up until we were arrested, and there was all this shit being thrown out there in the trial."
“So you have no idea which one of you was really being lied to...” Adam made a face. “Yeah that does suck. Really bad.” He watched Hunter for a moment. “What are you going to do now? Do you still...care about her?”
"Honestly, I'm guessing both of us." Hunter said. "I think she's a soulless bitch, and was using us both." Maybe. I don't know. "And I don't know what I'm going to do. And no, I don't care about her. She could drop dead tomorrow and I wouldn't care." Liar.
Adam raised an eyebrow at that. "You really think you're capable of falling for someone soulless? 'Cause that's not easy." Of course, there was a chance he'd done something similar, though maybe not in love, but he'd loved Jeffrey something serious as his best friend. Though at the same time, Adam wasn't sure he would consider Jeffrey soulless. Lacking but not without. "Really? Just like that you don't care? How'd you do that? I need to turn off how I feel about Kyle so any tips would be fantastic."
"It is when you're a dupe." Hunter said. "People always think that people wouldn't ever be able to fool them. That they'd just know if someone wasn't really on the level. but it's bullshit. People can play you like no one's business, if they just know what it is you want to see. It's easy. Or, for her it was. I never knew that anything wasn't on the level. I didn't even suspect." Hunter then looked at Adam. "...did you not say that you're supposed to just be taking a break or something? Shutting off your feelings toward someone entirely isn't exactly the way to go if you plan on ever speaking to them again."
Adam found himself nodding. “Yeah no, I know how that goes. And sometimes, even when you find out they aren’t what you thought or whatever, you keep with it because you’re already invested.” He cut his eyes at Hunter, true sympathy in his expression. “Sorry you had to go through that.” Adam had been there and done that and maybe not to the level that Hunter was at, but as bad as it had been for Adam, he couldn’t imagine worse. Looking at his hands instead of Hunter he shrugged. “We are. Because he doesn’t want to be with me and I want to be with him and it’s making things bad. So turning off that part would probably make things a hell of a lot easier. Though...I don’t really want to stop caring all together. Just the non-friend-type feelings.”
Hunter shrugged. "Find someone new. Someone else you're interested in. When I hooked up with Cassandra, I wasn't thinking about my ex-fiancee anymore."
“You had an ex-fiance too?” Adam asked. That sounded bad too. He let out a sigh. “I don’t know if that would work. I mean I kind of did that, but he just got really pissed.” Which was for a lot more reasons than jealousy, but it had probably left them in a worse place than when they started.
Hunter nodded. "Yeah. I was with her for years. Things just didn't work out." he said. "I wish her the best. Though I obviously wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed together." he said. He just didn't obsess about it. When Adam continued, Hunter rolled his eyes. "Fuck him getting really pissed. Who gives a shit. Plus, didn't you say he didn't want to be with you? He can shove it up his ass, then. If your real goal is to get over him, then get over him. That doesn't include being all delicate and not moving on because of how he'll feel about it. I guess that's my advice. Buck up, don't care about what he thinks, and move on--concentrate on someone new. He's old news."
Adam winced slightly at Hunter’s advice, but he knew the other guy had a point. “I guess...well yeah. Doesn’t sound like a recipe for keeping a best friend, but maybe.” He ran both his hands over his face, then looked at Hunter. “What are you going to do about your girl?”
"You know how they say men and women can't be just 'friends'?" Hunter asked rhetorically. "Well, I'm pretty sure you can apply that to guys you like." he said honestly. "If there's always going to be that sexual tension there...you might want to just dial that back to acquaintances." he said. "And hopefully, nothing. Hopefully, I can just coast, and she can stay on the other block, and one day I'll be out of here, one way or another, and I'll never have to worry about seeing her again."
Adam bit at the callouses on his fingers, mostly to hide his frustration and frown. “Yeah I guess so. I guess it will always be there.” But he didn’t want to stop seeing Kyle. That wasn’t exactly ideal. “Nothing. Here’s hoping. I mean if she’s on the other block, that might be easier.”
"If it's always going to be there, then..." Hunter shrugged. "Then it'll always be in the way. I'm sure it sucks, but sometimes, you just have to cut and refocus." he said, trying to help. "And yeah. Here's hoping. Or I'll see if I can get out of here."
“Probably,” Adam said, still around his finger before he finally let it go, looking at Hunter seriously. “You shouldn’t go. No matter what. I mean...this place is better. It’s not prison. There’s real food and the people are mostly decent. Don’t let her run you off.”
Hunter hadn't quite thought about that. It was actually a good point. But he still had reason to pause. "And my stunning track record with everyone else?" he asked.
“You’re doing fine with me. Maybe we spend some more time together and work on you getting along with people again.” Adam smiled a little, trying to be helpful.
Hunter quirked a half smile. "Sure," he said. "Why not." It was a start, maybe. He didn't know. But he guessed it was better than nothing, and at least this conversation hadn't blown up in his face.
“So he does smile!” Adam teased lightly with a smile of his own, something bigger than before. He laughed to himself and stretched out more. “You’re gonna be fine. I can tell. Just...give yourself a chance.”
Hunter had to laugh, just a little. Yeah, maybe he had that coming. Maybe he did sort of just...scowl all the time. "I'll keep that in mind." Hunter said. "I should probably get going, though. But...thanks. This has been alright, actually."
Adam grinned at the laugh, liking that. It was a good fit for the guy, something different. “Do keep it in mind. And I can help remind you if you need it. Just come find me.”
"Sure." Hunter said, standing up. "Nice to meet you," he said, honest in the sentiment. Maybe he did need to hang around people like this guy. He reminded him more of the people he would hang out with when he was in college. Lower key, no one too over the top. Maybe he really needed to remember who he used to be.