Crossing Lines
Characters: Edan and Matt Setting: Matt's Room, late evening Warnings: NSFW
Edan headed up to Matt's room not long after dinner as he messaged her to meet him. She was anxious to say the very least, curious if they'd manage to pick things up where they left off in the pool the day before, but trying not to get her hopes up in case they didn't. It wouldn't be a big deal. She had taken a moment to pick out the strapless dress he'd seen the administration give her, thinking of the Polaroid he had of it. Hopefully he'd like it in person. Somehow she managed patience when she knocked on the door, hands clasped behind her back to keep from reaching for him the moment she could.
Matt had hardly been idle since leaving the pool, throwing himself into preparing for when he would see Edan again though lack of any kind of relevant experience meant he was forced to rely on what he had picked up from books and movies. He had tidied his room from top to bottom, going so far as to borrow a vacuum cleaner from the male cleaner who had talked enough for the both of them and a throw purchased from the shop had been tacked onto the wall covering the collage that now stretched almost halfway across it and ran practically from floor to ceiling. He’d even washed his sheets though thinking too much of the implications behind doing it was enough to set off his nerves again to the point where he’d spent ten minutes in the shower until he calmed down again.
Taking a leaf from Edan’s book, his final action had been to systematically light the candles he had scattered around the room and by the time she came knocking on the door, he felt in control again. Taking a moment to attempt to smooth down his hair, an ultimately fruitless endeavour, he opened the door with a shy smile, dressed in a dark red button down and black slacks. The sight of her in her dress disarmed him a little, his eyes widening a touch as he stammered out a greeting. “H…h…hey,” he said, keeping hold of his smile despite the stutter. “You look beautiful.”
Once she saw the change in his wardrobe, Edan realized she'd been expecting the hoodie and jeans that didn't fit. The button down was almost jarring, but in a good way, shifting her smile from anxious to genuine. "Thank you," she said softly, letting herself into the room and closing the door behind her. "You look rather handsome yourself." She was closer to him and she wondered if he could see the mark he'd left on her skin in the low light. That was another point in wearing the dress, because it showed it off, something she hadn't done since she'd gotten it.
Although he ducked his head at the compliment, Matt continued to smile. “Thanks,” he replied, voice equally soft. “It seemed fitting to make the effort and seeing how you look…well I would have felt under dressed by comparison.” He meant then to look back up to her face but his gaze caught on the mark at her shoulder on the way, the one he’d given her, and he found himself unable to look away for a moment, his cheeks darkening slightly with a mixture of embarrassment and something other.
"I wouldn't have cared," she told him. She had just put it on to see if he'd like it. If he'd liked something more casual that she had, she would have worn that. When his eyes lingered and his cheeks flushed, she ducked her head to catch his eyes. "I thought you'd enjoy seeing your handiwork. I know I like knowing it's there."
"Maybe not but I would have," he told, wishing desperately for the colour to leave his face. Her next comment had him visibly gulping and his hand went up into his hair, immediately ruining what little control he'd mastered over it. "I didn't think it would last so long...I wasn't thinking at all really...you really like it?"
Edan smiled brightly, checking her giggle at his reaction so he wouldn't think she was laughing at him. "I suppose you were more zealous than you expected." She moved more into the room, looking around at how clean it was, the blanket tacked on the wall and candles everywhere. He'd really tried to make it nice. "I do. I've been wondering if you'd do it again, given the chance."
Matt's blush deepened but he met Edan's gaze head on, even managing to offer a small smirk in return as he replied, "Well you do have an excellent track record for bringing that kind of thing out of me." Kicking and screaming in a couple of cases, not that he was complaining about the result. "Would you like me to do it again?" Because yes, he had enjoyed doing it and would quite willing do a repeat performance providing he was able to conquer his fear again.
She did didn't she? Edan's mind went to the anger, but she pushed that away. It was a one time moment, everyone had them. She hadn't been truly afraid since then. Moving closer again, hoping to move them away from the door soon enough, she smiled. "I was hoping for all of it again. You were so different. So sure in what you wanted and you took it. It was thrilling."
As she moved forward, he stepped a little to one side leaving her a path to the couch, next to which stood a bottle of red wine and two glasses borrowed from the kitchen. "I don't think I've ever been described as thrilling before," he admitted, eyes finally leaving hers as he made his own way over to the couch.
Edan almost frowned at him moving away, but he had a plan and she wasn't going to fight it. He likely needed it and she knew the goal. They'd get there. "You were. Did you not feel it in that moment?" She sat on the couch, closer to the center than the edge, but gave him space.
"I was making a point not to think about what I was feeling," Matt said, lips twisting into a wry smile. "Thinking too much rarely takes me anywhere good and I just wanted to enjoy it. I did enjoy it, almost as much as I enjoyed seeing what you were feeling." He paused, picking up the bottle and turning back towards her. "And I would very much like to see it again."
"Seeing what you made me feel," Edan corrected, preferring the context and thinking it was important here. It was his doing that had her like that. She nodded about the wine, turning more towards him by pulling one leg up and tucking it under her. It sent the hem of her dress and couple inches farther north, but she didn't seem to notice or care. "Any time you want."
Not wanting to tower over her nor quite ready to sit beside her, he dropped to a crouch as he began opening the wine. His new position also mean he had an excellent view of the way Edan's dress crept up her legs and he suddenly found his mouth too dry to speak for a moment. Instead he focused on wrestling the cork from the bottle and pouring them both a glass. Normally he wasn't one to indulge in alcohol, preferring to keep his senses as sharp as possible but just as the pool had strengthened his resolve the day before, he hoped the wine would provide a different kind of liquid courage. "Any time huh?" he asked, finally trusting himself to speak as he held out a glass to her, his expression both shy and faintly hopeful.
Edan leaned forward to take the glass fighting disappointment that he wasn't sitting with her. He'd get there. She just had to repeat that and not get hung up on it being any reflection on his wants. "Any time. Just...initiate."
"Just initiate," he echoed. She made it sound like such a small thing and in reality, Matt knew that it was. Then again there was a reason why people said things like 'taking the first step is the hardest' and 'all journeys start with a single step'. Still he continued to smile, sinking down to the floor, his arm resting on the couch's seat within reaching distance of where Edan's legs lay curled beneath her. "What would you have me do if you knew I could?" he asked, sipping at his wine, the question one that had lurked never far from his thoughts since the pool. "Have us do together?"
Edan was surprised at the question, watching him. "Are you asking how far I'd let this go?" she ventured. Pausing for a moment she but at her lip, considering things. "Possibly the natural progression of where that sort of thing goes." For clarity her eye cut towards his bed, before looking back at him. He wouldn't be her first, far from it, and she wasn't the type to shy away from that, but she knew that it required a change in how the relationship was handled, no matter how casual the coupling. Though with Matt she guessed sex was hardly casual.
"I'm asking how far you'd like things to go," he corrected, the distinction all too clear in his mind and needing it to be the same way in hers. "But I wasn't speaking about in general, I meant specifically." He may have been inexperienced but one thing he had done an exceptionally large amount of was reading and he knew knowledge was no replacement for experience in this case, he wasn't naive on such matters. His was a mind that craved detail and the more Edan could give him, the more he'd be able to focus and the easier it would be to not get lost in his own fears. He took a sip of his wine and then leaned a little closer to her, his arm near enough that if he stretched out his fingers they would skim across her leg. "What things do you like Edan?"
The way he asked, something about how he wanted to know, hitched her breath in her throat. Maybe it was such direct question that no one really asked, but she felt her cheeks flush and her heart rate jump up a notch. Taking a sip of wine to cover it, she considered the multitude of answers, trying to land on the right ones. "I want more of before," she admitted. "Your hands on me, your mouth. When...when we were together, you had control of the situation, and I didn't need to hold so tightly to it. I've never...felt like that before and I think that's because I've changed, but I know I like it now. I like the marks you made," she told him, hinting at the few that lingered around her hips and legs, but no more. "I like that moment when it first starts, when you stop being two and then the calm after, like everything makes sense. I'd like to wake up next to you." She really was giving too much probably, but no one had really asked before and she wasn't sure what was and what wasn't enough.
Matt didn’t know what he’d expected her reply to be though in truth he’d imagined it to be something simpler, a list maybe. Once again though Edan proved her seemingly innate ability to surprise him with the honesty and depth of her reply and there was a moment where all he could do was stare at her with a look of something akin to awe on his face. “You really have a way with words,” he said, flushing a little in turn as what she’d said sank in and sipping at his own wine.
Edan wasn’t sure what that meant and it left her biting at her lip, blushing herself, though more from true embarrassment. "Maybe." Why had she said so much? Or something so honest? She had a feeling saying she'd been interested in being tied up might have gone over better. He would have at least had an answer to that. "If it's...it doesn't have to..." She stumbled on words, but couldn't find anything and wound up taking a heavier swig of wine to do something and maybe take the edge off of how incredibly exposed she felt.
Seeing her so unsure made it perversely easier for Matt to push aside his own nerves for the sake of easing hers and, setting down his glass, it only look a small effort on his part to reach the small distance between them and rest his hand on her leg. "Edan, it's fine. I wanted to know, I'm....glad you felt you could be so open with me. To know you trust me enough to do so, it's...humbling." He offered her a small smile that was a warm and as genuine as it would have been as if it had stretched wide across his face. "I hope I can give it all to you. I know I want to..."
Him smiling helped. Him touching her helped even more, though it did surprise her. Looking his way for a moment she shook her head. "It's...you were looking for a different answer." She pressed her hand against her warm cheek, willing it to cool down but knowing the wine wasn't helping. When was the last time she'd had a drink? Years maybe. "I just feel silly. And weird."
"What makes you think I wanted a different answer?" he asked, voice kind even as his eyebrows knotted in confusion. "And you shouldn't feel silly or weird in the slightest, you've got no reason to."
"Because I feel like I said too much," she admitted softly. "That's why I feel silly."
"Please don't feel silly," Matt pleaded, seeking out one of her hands and capturing it between his own. "No-one's ever been so honest with me before. Quite frankly, it amazes me. You amaze me."
"Amaze you?" Edan asked him, feeling herself lean closer in reaction to his hands holding hers. He smiled softly and nodded. "Amaze me," he confirmed and, lifting up her hand, placed a soft kiss on the back of it.
It was stupid, the way her stomach flipped at his words and that kiss, but it was there nonetheless. Edan squeezed his fingers and smiled. "You want to come sit up here?"
Feeling emboldened by the effect his small gesture had had on her, Matt moved up to sit beside her on the couch, sparing one of his hands to reclaim his wine glass, not yet ready to give up the comforting presence of alcohol despite his apparent confidence.
Edan reached for her glass as well, but kept hold of his hand, smiling that he was closer. "I suppose the logical question is to ask you what you want," she mused, glancing at him with a playful smile.
"I guess that would be the next logical step," he replied, eyes dropping to his glass, unable to stop himself anymore than he could stop the colour that rose to his face. He drained the rest of his glass as he considered how best to answer his question, distantly hoping that the wine might help loosen his tongue. "I want to know you," he finally replied. "Every single inch of you, what you feel like, what you taste like..." The flush at his cheeks darkened. "I want to hear the noises you make and learn how best to get them from you so I can keep hearing them, I want to see what you look like when you..." He trailed off, embarrassment finally getting the better of him and waited for Edan's response, not trusting himself to look at her, afraid of what he might see.
Edan hadn't meant to, but as he explained what he wanted, her grip on his hand tightened. That was probably exactly what anyone wanted to hear and she felt her heart rate go up and breath hitch at just the words. Leaning in a touch closer, she lowered her voice, just for him even though they were alone, though her voice was also darker, filled with something more. "I take mine back. I want that. I want you to do all of that."
“Why can’t we do both?” he countered, glancing up at her through his lashes. “Yours and mine.” It was a wish list after all, a purely theoretical matter at this point as much as they both wanted what they asked for. After all there was no guarantee that any of it would happen regardless of their desire given the barriers that they had to cross so it seemed premature to write anything off yet.
Edan smiled more then reached for the wine to refill his glass. "I think a lot of mine would come into play with yours," she promised, pouring more into his glass, then topping hers off as well. "But whatever doesn't we can add in."
“That’s quite a list,” he mused, smiling back at her over his glass before taking a sip, faintly aware of the buzz that was creeping over him thanks to the wine he’d drank already. “Do you think we’re up to it all?”
"I don't know about you but in that pool every day. I have excellent stamina," she said, smiling and settling more with one elbow on the back of the couch. "I think we are. You'd be surprised how addictive it is."
She was impossibly captivating like that, stretched out before him with the candle light flickering across her, skin looking impossibly soft and hair seeming to glow. Everything about her screamed ‘touch me’ and Matt was taken aback by just how much he wanted to, his mouth suddenly going dry. “Addictive huh?” he said, taking another sip of his wine.
"Mhmm," Edan murmured before sipping at her wine. "Just think of how much you wanted to again after the pool. It just gets better." And the waiting was killing her but she stayed quiet about it.
“Is that a promise Edan?” he asked, his voice taking on some of that same dark tone that had coloured hers only moments before as he leant towards her, anxiety temporarily smothered by the warm blanket alcohol and the sight of Edan herself had provided.
He was coming closer, which had her licking her lips without thinking about it and nodding. “It is,” she said, voice lower, but still with that darkness about it.
Matt moved closer and his free hand came up to rest against her cheek. “Say it,” he said quietly in a tone that might have sounded dangerous if not for the yearning and desperation that bled into it. “Say you promise.”
That was different, really different, but he was touching her and Edan was quickly forgetting everything beyond Matt and his words. “I promise.” It was breathier than she would have liked, almost a gasp. She wanted it to sound sure and true, not as if she was struggling to breath from the desire that was seeping through her. Damm the wine. She hadn’t even had all that much, but apparently she didn’t need much anymore to feel like things were tilted. Either that or it was all him.
It may not have been how she wanted to sound but the breathiness of Edan’s voice combined with her promise sent a shiver racing down Matt’s spine, giving him the last little push he needed. Not even bothering to set down his glass, not caring if it spilled at this point, his hand slid to the back of Edan’s neck and he pulled her towards him for a kiss.
And there it was. It clicked in her mind that that was what she wanted, him taking charge, him touching her and making the decision to kiss her without the tentative feelings that came with it. Everything boiled down to his hand on the back of her neck, pulling her forward and Edan gave up control, letting him have it and letting herself get lost in the kiss instead. She answered it hotly, possibly too much too soon, but she wanted a deep kiss to go with that promise, those words, his hand. It seemed necessary. Her fingers gripped her own glass, more conscious about not spilling, but she had a good hold of it for now.
While their first kiss in the pool had been calm and unhurried, this was anything but, the cool of the water replaced by a fire that seemed to lap across Matt's skin and urge him on. Fingers moving up to tangle loosely in her hair, he showed no sign of letting her go any time soon, wine glass cast aside in favour of snaking his arm around her waist and pulling Edan even closer.
Edan was slightly more conscious of setting her glass down as he pulled her closer, but she still went, fingers finding his shirt. There was a soft noise, an assent that yes, this was it, what she'd been hoping for.
Matt really didn't need any encouragement at that point but hearing that noise from Edan, that confirmation that yes, she wanted it and yes, she liked what he was doing, made him that bit more earnest in his kissing, his now empty hand coming up to curl around the bare skin of her leg.
His hand around her leg was perfect, so much that she broke off the kiss for a moment with a soft moan, something that surprised her. He was doing things right, but her own reaction was more than she would have guessed. One hand drifted up to his hair, fingers slipping into it to pull in in for another kiss.
On the rare occasions where Matt had imagined himself being intimate with someone, he'd never imagined hair pulling as something he would enjoy but as Edan's hand tightened in his hair and pulled him back to her, he found himself drastically reconsidering his thoughts on the matter. Letting out a moan of his own, muffled as it was by their lips together, his grip on Edan's hair tightened and before he had time to think about it, he pressed forward against her, his hand moving up her leg and curving around the back of her thigh just shy of the hem of her dress.
That was completely okay with her. Edan had never had specific things she liked in bed, more just curious at what was out there, focused on the release, but as Matt pushed back, she let him. Her leg lifted off the couch to give him more purchase as she sunk back towards the arm of the couch, pulling him with her. Her head was racing, but it was a fantastic feeling, like falling, but not caring what was at the bottom.
He felt it too and by rights it should have been terrifying but it wasn't; all-encompassing, it was like a cocoon was wrapped around them, keeping all his fears and anxieties at bay so there was just him and Edan together. Going down with her, he was forced to let go of her to brace himself off the arm behind her but it was a small price to pay when he paused to breathe and saw her stretched out beneath him.
Edan's breath was ragged when he stopped, coming in heaving gasps, but her smile was firmly in place. Reaching up she traced his jaw with one finger, then moved it towards his neck, only to replace her finger with a line of kisses. Once her hand reached his shirt she started with the first of the buttons, undoing it slowly.
Distracting as the kisses were, albeit distracting in the best sense of the word, Matt didn't miss Edan starting on his shirt and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't pull away though; instead his hand that rested atop the couch arm clutched at the fabric there and the other slid beneath the edge of Edan's dress, letting the softness of her skin there distract him.
Edan's hips arched slightly, giving him more room and reacting to him touching her without her intention. Grinning more she pulled back to find his eyes, not stopping with attacking the next button. "You keep that up you'll find the next set of marks you left."
“Will I now?” he replied, voice low as he raised an eyebrow, his fingers becoming deliberate in their course until they brushed up against what felt like lace and there he stopped. “And what else will I find?”
Edan chuckled softly. "Mmhmm." There were faint marks along her legs from his fingers, something she'd wondered if he would enjoy seeing. When he grazed her underwear she grinned, pulling him down to kiss him lightly. "Something else you might like." They hadn't given her a ton of lingerie, but there were a few pieces that were pleasantly girly and she'd gone with pale pink lace tonight.
Maybe the alcohol was having more of an effect on him than he'd anticipated or perhaps it was her he was drunk on, filling up his senses and threatening to overwhelm him. Whatever it was though, it brought a confidence out of him that caught him totally off guard as he sat up and yanked Edan towards him before pushing up the hem of her skirt with what might have been a growl.
There was an instance of panic when he pulled away, but it was gone the moment he was yanking her with him. And Edan went, despite the surprised noise. Nothing in her fought it, though it sent something through her that clicked her senses up a notch. Maybe fear, but the whimper that slipped out didn't sound afraid, it sounded needy. She'd unintentionally given him control and now he was taking it.
It may not have sounded afraid but her whimper was enough to give Matt pause and he looked up at her face, doubt creeping into his expression for the first time. "Is this... this is... is this good?" he asked, worry tainting his voice.
Edan was nodding before he finished the question. "Yes," she breathed, hot against his skin. "Very much yes."
Letting out a sigh of relief he didn't know he'd been holding, Matt smiled at Edan looking more like his usual self. It only took a moment to remember what he had been doing though and when he did, his gaze drifted down her body and his fingers continued to push her dress up.
Edan slipped her arms around his neck, watching him with a satisfied smile. The marks he'd left on her legs were visible, though fainter in the low light. The curled around her legs, faint bruises that were healing from the way he'd held on to her so tightly. They ended just before the edge of her underwear, which he was just getting hints of as he worked the dress up her legs. She didn't stop him though, letting him explore like he wanted to.
The way Edan was sitting was making pushing her dress up the last few inches increasingly difficult but as more of the marks he'd left on became visible, Matt's attention was drawn there instead. "I did that?" he murmured, tracing his fingers over them in an echo of the movement that had left them there in the first place.
"Mmhmm," Edan confirmed, smiling until she was gasping at his touch. "You're stronger than you think."
Matt knew he was stronger than he looked, something he considered to be an advantage but it was quite another thing to see evidence of the fact, especially given how much he prided himself on keeping himself is check. Then again, Edan had an innate knack for making him act in ways he never thought he would so really it shouldn't have been a surprise that this was no different. "Apparently so," he replied, unable and unwilling to stop himself from smiling at hearing her gasp and, on a whim, he ducked his head forward and pressed a kiss to one of the bruises.
"I'm not complaining," Edan said before he was kissing her leg and she lost a real train of thought. That was far better. She let out a soft sigh, though there was definitely something behind it. He could definitely keep doing that.
And he did, spurred on by the little noises Edan made as his lips travelled across her hips and along the tops of her leg
Edan let herself slump back on the couch more, one hand finding his hair, not tugging but holding on, half keeping him where he was. Her eyes fell shut as she sighed again, shivers coursing through her occasionally when he touched a new spot.
Each new reaction he got from Edan just urged Matt on further and, growing adventurous, he gently unfolded her legs so he could kneel more comfortably between them, the new position allowing him to push her dress up past her hips and give him in an unrestricted view of both his handiwork and her underwear. "Christ Edan," he said quietly, eyes flicking up to hers as his hands slid beneath her legs and curled over her hips. He just wasn't stopping. Edan wondered if it was too much too fast, but how could she stop him? They might never get here again. She wasn't stopping anything. She'd just deal with the fallout later. His comment had her looking up at him curiously. "What?"
"You, just...you." His expression was one of amazement as he drank in the sight of her, convinced he'd never seen anyone more beautiful than her in that moment.
Edan smiled softly then sat up more, leaning in to kiss him. While she did that, one hand reached behind her to work he super of the dress down. The look she gave him as she pulled back was a little sheepish, but it was covered quickly by her lifting the dress off over her head.
When she did that, Matt found himself unable to do anything other than stare, his eyes almost comically wide. Obviously he'd seen in her in a similar amount of undress before having seen her in a bikini but there was something so much more charged about seeing her in underwear, an intimacy that there hadn't been before. Add to that the fact she was undressing for him, it really wasn't surprising that words failed him entirely so instead he began kissing his way down her torso, starting at the curve of her neck.
Edan was relieved he was still surprised, considering he'd seen everything she was showing already. It sent a thrill through her, an old feeling she'd almost forgotten. Reaching up, she slipped her fingers into his hair, holding onto him as he kissed her and answering his action with a tiny moan.
As it had in the pool, the more Edan responded to him, the firmer Matt's grip on her grew. It wasn't yet hard enough to leave marks but it was only going to be a matter of time with the way things were going. Her hand in his hair pulled an answering moan from his lips and his kisses grew more urgent as he moved down between her breasts, teeth joining lips as he gently nipped at the skin of her stomach.
Edan gasped again when he nipped at her skin, head falling back against the arm of the couch. For all his proclaimed innocence, he certainly had a good handle on what he was doing now. She had a feeling she should do more, but she was enjoying what he was doing too much to stop him beyond murmuring his name. "Matt..."
She had a lifetime of reading and a vivid imagination to thank for Matt's apparent confidence and her reactions for guiding him, providing him with a way to gauge whether something was the right thing or not. His lips had found the divot just above her hip and he was considering whether or not to suck another mark onto the skin there when she said his name and he glanced up at her, his eyes even darker than usual thanks to how dilated his pupils had become. "Mmmm?" he hummed, lips not actually leaving her hip.
Edan didn't want him to stop when his mouth was where it was and the struggle to force words that might make him stop was obvious. "You're still dressed," she finally managed, smile on her features.
"I am, aren't I?" he murmured, smiling back at her. "I take it you object to this state of affairs?"
Edan pushed herself up gently, hoping to coax him back to a more seat position. "Hardly seems fair does it?" She ventured, reaching for his shirt once she could, back to the buttons. "As distracting and wonderful as that feels, it is a two way street." It didn't all have to be him catering to her. She could return favors.
Reluctant as he was to let go of her, Matt did move at her prompting and wound up sitting back on his heels. "I s....suppose not," he said, managing to keep hold of his smile despite the panic that had started to bubble up as Edan took the initiative. It was so much easier to keep a lid on his fear when he was in control, when he was touching her and as she started to work on his buttons, he was forced to close his eyes for a moment and concentrate on keeping his breathing steady.
The hesitation in his voice slowed her down, reaching for his hand and guiding it back to her hip. "Don't stop doing that part," she said softly, but instead of it being a correction, it sounded needy. She undid another button before leaning in to kiss his jaw. "Nothing you said early was things you wanted done to you...is there anything?"
Having his hand back on her was grounding and provided him with an anchor of sorts, a tangible, solid connection he could focus on if feelings threatened to overwhelm him. As a result, he found himself holding her more tightly then he may have intended, even if the thumb that began brushing back and forth from bare skin to lace then back again moved in a gentle sweeping motion. "I don't know," he admitted, eyes opening to reveal clear uncertainty. "It's easier for me to focus on you...touching you is easier than...It's not that I don't want you to, it's just...scary."
Edan made quicker work with the buttons, gasping at his grip and that touch. She knew what it meant, what him stumbling over words meant and she didn't want to hesitate and drag things to a halt. "I know," she told him voice soft and understanding. "But I can make you feel good too." Her fingers finished the buttons and grazed across his lower abdomen, just above his waistband. "If it wasn't as scary...what would you like?" She glanced up at him again, eyes watching his, eager to hear what he had to say.
"I want to feel good," he said, his smile brightening a touch but that may have also been in part due to hearing Edan gasp again. He couldn't help starting slightly at her touch, a mixture of surprise and a ticklishness he wasn't even aware he possessed being to blame but he managed to stay where he was. "But I don't know what I'd like, reading can only give a man so much information and that's entirely subjective."
She slowed when he jumped, but when he didn't pull back, she kept it up, tracing his waistband before starting at his pants. "What sounded exciting?" She asked, hating that it was just what he'd read, not what her experienced.
Muscles twitching beneath her touch, a sensation that was both alien and fascinating given he hadn't really felt anything like it, it took a supreme amount of will for Matt not to jerk away from it. Instead he focused on the path his own fingers were taking, the hand that wasn't holding on to Edan's hip like a life raft trailing across the front of her underwear and along it's edge. Her question forced his attention back though and a blush quickly rose on his skin, spreading from his cheeks and down to his chest. "I don't know if exciting is the right w...w...word," he said shyly because the truth of the matter was that before her, he hadn't really gotten 'excited' about anything.
His touches were distracting and Edan found herself rushing though popping the button on his pants and lowering the zipper. She whimpered when he teased at her underwear, not meaning to, but not able to help it. "Tell me a better word," she asked, but leaned up to kiss him deeply. The point of the kiss was to distract because her next move was dipping her fingers in his pants and grazing her knuckles against him, through his underwear. It was risky, she knew that, hence the kiss.
The whimper definitely caught his interest and really he would've been content to keep finding ways to elicit more of them but then he was being asked a question and being kissed before he even had a chance to start thinking of a reply. That alone would have been enough to send his mind reeling but then Edan's hand was brushing against him and his brain was torn between pushing into the touch and pulling away as fast as he could. As if making the decision for him though, his hips twitched forward and he broke the kiss with a gasp at the increased contact.
Edan flattened her palm against him, spurred on by the gasp and his hips meeting her hand. She couldn't help the way her own body arched towards his, chest skimming his as she slipped her fingers into his hair again. "Feel good?"
A part of Matt's brain cried out 'no' to that but it was drowned out by an overwhelming 'yes' from the rest, his body for once having almost full reign over his mind. Her hand was warm against him even through the fabric of his boxers and as she moved against him, Matt pressed back, answering her question with a desperate kiss.
Edan took the kiss for what was and kept her hand where it was. After a moment she started with gentle strokes, nothing too hard, but enough to get his attention as she nipped his lower lips. She wanted his hands on her more, but there'd be time for that later.
It was almost too much to bear; he was drowning in sensations, lost in a vortex of soft touches and hard kisses and it was like he was losing himself yet somehow Matt didn't care, he didn't want it to stop. Letting out a small moan as Edan's teeth found his lip, one of his hands made its way back to her hair, the other sliding over the curve of her ass.
That was it. That was what she wanted him to feel and when heat out the moan Edan upped her pace. She had to wonder if it would be a lasting effect, if feeling something so good related to touch would break down some walls.
If the way he was reacting to her touch was any indication, there was a distinct possibility it would, at least as far as Edan was concerned. Not that Matt was capable of thinking that coherently anymore, his brain having effectively been shut down by that point. His breath was coming in shorter and shorter gasps and as the strokes grew faster, his eyes fell closed and his head dropped to her shoulder.
Edan took that as a good sign and pushed one more limit, stopping her strokes for a moment, but only to slip her hand inside his boxers and wrap around him properly and start again. Her fingers in her free hand tightened in his hair keeping him close, with her, through it.
Matt thought it had felt good before, even if good was in no way a sufficient word for describing it, but that was nothing compared to the feeling of skin on skin, having Edan's fingers wrapped around him with no fabric barrier to dull the sensation. He let out a muffled "Oh God," and his hips unconsciously began jerking back and forth in a quest for more heat, more friction, more anything.
Edan answered his movements in kind, upping her pace to match his hips, soothing hums slipping out as she did so. Her fingers carded through his hair and she found herself nipping and suckling at a spot on his neck. It wasn't just him feeling things though, her own breath shortening at the thrill of touching someone else for the first time in a long time.
Given his sheer lack of experience both sexually and at being touched, he was never going to last long but with the increased pace and the added stimulation at his neck (biting and sucking, another thing he couldn't have predicted liking but he was definitely enjoying), he quickly found himself brought the brink. Blood pounding in his ears, he just had a chance to stammer out Edan's name before his release was spilling out over her hand.
Edan finished off the mark as he murmured her name, knowing the warning for what it was. She helped him ride the whole thing out before pulling her hand away and curling it around his hip. Her other hand stayed in his hair stroking gently. "Yes?"
Gradually coming back to himself, full sentences were still pretty beyond Matt and the only reply he could actually muster was appreciative sounds murmured against her shoulder, his grip on her less frantic now but still showing no sign of letting go.
It made her smile, him sounding like he did and he way his hands stayed on her. He didn't have to do that. He could pull away and be ready for something else. She leaned in closer to him pressing more of herself against him, craving his touch now that he'd gotten there.
As his mind grew clearer, albeit still awash with a pleasurable haze, Matt felt the first stirrings of unease beginning to creep over him and immediately began kissing Edan's shoulder again. Unwilling to give up on his new found serenity just yet, especially not before he got to explore more of her, his fingers moved to the top of her underwear and hooked into them where he stopped just inside, an unspoken request for permission to go further.
Edan let out a soft noise as he kissed her again, pleased that she wasn't forgotten. When his fingers hooked in her underwear but didn't move forward she whimpered, legs shaking from being up on her knees. It took a moment before she remembered to nod, hips twitching towards his hand.
His eyes may have not been on her face but they didn't need to be, as close as he was he could feel her nod and there was no missing the shake in her legs or the twitch of her hips. Permission granted, he lifted his head to plant a soft kiss on her lips then pulled away entirely, a clear idea of what he wanted to do already in his mind. Shifting to the edge of the couch and planting one foot on the floor for balance, he swept Edan's legs from beneath her and sent her toppling back against the cushions before kneeling between her legs, once more his hands going to the waistband of her panties where once more he stopped, this time his eyes going straight to hers. "Is this okay?" he asked, the first actual sentence he'd managed since she'd started to touch him.
Edan yelped when he sent her falling back but it dissolved into giggles that she had to bite her lip to contain. She didn't want him to think she was laughing at him, but sometimes it was hard not to when the whole thing was fun. And for once it felt fun. No pressure to push the other, not now. At his question she smiled around the bit lip, nodding again. "Please," she finally said, but the tone was hushed and excited. He seemed to know what he wanted and Edan was desperate to find out what it was.
Smothered as they were, Matt still heard the giggles and, rather than taking them as being at him being upset by them, he smiled back, glad to hear Edan sounding so happy. He was still smiling as she gave her blessing to continue and, with a slow inhale to steady any residual nerves, began to tug the lace down, relishing in the whisper of sound it made across her skin and the slow reveal of the skin beneath it, ducking forward to kiss the hip that had missed out on his attention earlier.
She let out a moan that was possibly a little more than needed when he kissed her hip, shivering with it, but she wanted him to know what she wanted. She wanted this, his attention, and was willing to give anything to keep it going.
And continue he did, urged on just as she’d intended, underwear pulled down over her hips and then along the smooth lines of her legs, a trail of kisses following in their wake as Matt memorised how it felt, every one of his senses dedicated to her in that moment. He didn’t rush what he was doing but neither did he drag the process out for longer than it needed to be, not interested in teasing her or denying himself, the moment her panties had been slipped off completely he began kissing his way back up her legs.
Edan wasn't sure what she'd been expecting. It wasn't this, whatever it was and every kiss earned Matt a shiver and when he started working his way back up she let out a needy whimper. She had no idea what she was asking for or what he had in mind, but she was sure she wanted it.
Matt couldn’t have explained why it was this that had intrigued him more than anything else he’d read about or seen but when he’d said to Edan that he wanted to taste her, he’d meant it and hearing that whimper only made him more determined to go ahead with it. Sliding off the couch so he wouldn’t have to bend uncomfortably, his kisses grew more insistent as he made his way up the inside of one of her thighs, his hands once again slipping beneath her legs to curve over her hips, this time with the intention of keeping her still and close to him.
Matt’s destination was starting to dawn on her. It was hard to miss when he moved like that, and she couldn’t help her legs spreading more as he kissed the inside of her thigh unconsciously giving him more space. His hands on her hips helped because part of her was aware of just how intimate what he seemed to have in mind was, and it was waging against it, wanting to tell him he didn’t have to.
Even if she had voiced her concern aloud, he would have insisted because this wasn’t something he felt he had to do but it was something he wanted to do. That said, there was still a brief pause as he reached the top of her thighs, his face bare millimeters from her sex where he questioned if he could actually do it, whether his lack of experience and anxiety were too much of an obstacle. Taking a breath, the scent of Edan filled his nostrils and that proved to be the last push he needed as, without warning, his tongue darted out and swept between her folds. A taste unlike anything else flooded through his mouth and while he couldn’t describe it past warm and slightly sharp, he knew straight away that he liked it and wanted more, humming with approval as he licked her again.
Edan swore loudly the instant he touched her and clapped her hand over her mouth, surprised at how loud that had been and embarrassed by it. She felt the entire hum, which meant she was shuddering, hips fighting his grasp as if she could twitch them into his and get more purchase, feel more. She moan again, louder again, but it was muffled between her hand by her mouth and that she was biting her lip hard. Her free hand gripped at that back cushions on the couch, trying to hold on to it.
The force of Edan’s reaction caught Matt off-guard and for a second he froze before the twitching of her hips against his mouth encouraged him to carry on, his hold on her tightening as he pressed his face close. He wasn’t really sure what kind of technique he should be using and with his hands busy holding onto her, he was limited to what he could do but that didn’t dampen his enthusiasm, the tip of his tongue probing deeper before pulling back to swirl across the outside.
He was doing fine. Just fine. More than fine. Edan couldn’t help the embarrassing array of noises she was letting out, whimpers and moans as she nodded. “Yes. Please. God yes.” She couldn’t help it even if the words made her blush, red flushing down her chest.
The position they were in meant that he was able to glance up at her when she spoke and see the colour staining her skin, the effect that he was having which, coupled with the sounds she was making, was enough to to stir his own arousal once more. He didn’t pay any attention to it though, too focused on making Edan feel good and losing himself in her to stop what he was doing.
She really couldn’t stop the noises. They were slipping out faster than she expected, but more than that everything in her was surging forward, faster than she even thought possible. It had been a long time, but more than that, the slow build of up everything with Matt had her far more anticipating than she expected. She was whimpering loudly, hips fighting him, wanting more needing more. His name came out in a gasp as her hand found his hair, gripping it between her fingers.
As she fought, Matt’s grip tightened to the point where it would surely leave marks again, pulling her towards him so his whole face was pressed against her, his tongue flickering back and forth and his nose rubbing against her. All he could see, smell, hear, taste, feel was Edan and it was glorious.
Edan bit at her hand, shaking to keep the moans buried but failing miserably. Even muffled they were louder, escalating until she was there and instead of moaning she cried out, trembling in its wake. Only then did she stop fighting his grip, slumping back more into the couch, panting for breath.
Although it was clear, even to him, that she had orgasmed, he didn’t stop right away though his hold on her became less fierce and his tongue more gently as he licked up every trace of the new flavour that had come with her release. Only when he was sure he had it all, did he stop, pulling back to rest his head against her thigh, content to be silent awhile as he watched her come back to earth.
She was still shivering when he didn’t stop, not entirely sure why didn’t stop, but not complaining. It wasn’t until he actually pulled away that she felt her heart start to slow, though it wasn’t going down to slow anytime soon. “How...” She stopped to catch her breath then traced his hairline. “So wonderful.”
“You’re wonderful,” he said, sounding tired but at the same time utterly happy as he let his fingers trace lightly over marks new and old that now dotted her hips. “Before you, I never...this is all you Edan.”
She watched him, then sat up more, motioning for him to move closer. “All me?” she asked, wanting to know more.
Matt nodded as he unwound himself from her hips and legs, coming up to sit by her again. “Yes you,” he confirmed, cupping her cheek. “You wanted me, you’re the only person that I’ve ever wanted like this and you brought things out of me that I never expected to feel, let alone do. It really is all you.”
“I’m the only one you’ve wanted? Ever?” She leaned into his hand, pressing her lips against his wrist. “What do you feel?” She was lazy, caught up in the feelings, the wash of warmth and that floaty feeling that hadn’t dissipated yet.
“The only one,” he echoed, too caught up in their shared afterglow to be self-conscious about the admission. “And I feel...wonderful.” For the time being, his anxiety was nowhere to be felt and he could just enjoy the simple experience of being intimate with the person he cared most about.
“I find that so hard to believe. And that it was me. I’m glad, but...not sure what’s so special.” She moved closer, resting against him. “So do I. I don’t want to go.”
“Why is it so hard to believe?” he asked, gently tilting her chin up so her eyes met his. “And why on earth shouldn’t it be you?” He let her cuddle up to inspite of her questions though and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t have to go.” He couldn’t promise he’d be able to spend the whole night beside her like she wanted but falling asleep together he was fairly certain he could handle if things continued to feel as good as they did.
“That no one else caught your attention?” she asked, looking up at him. “And me...I’m not quite...whole.” She wrapped her arms around his middle smiling. more. “I can stay?” Because leaving felt strange, but she didn’t want to push him.
“Well they didn’t, not like you have and that’s because of who you are, even if you don’t see what I see.” He hugged her back and returned her smile before planting another soft kiss to her lips. “And yes, of course you can stay.”
She kissed him back but then pulled back, getting off the couch and holding out her hands to him. Her underwear were still somewhere, but she wasn’t focusing on that or that she still had her bra on and his clothes were haphazardly still on.
Matt put his hand in hers and let himself be guided, unsure where they were going but trusting Edan enough to follow her without question.
Her plan had been just to move them to the bed but once they were close enough she had another one, reaching up to slip his shirt off his shoulders as she kissed him. She worked him out of it then went for his pants, working them off his hips. “You should take me to bed,” she suggested softly against his lips when the kiss broke off.
He didn’t resist as she worked him out of his clothes, managing to step out of his pants without tripping over them despite not being able to see what he was doing. He did however frown slightly at Edan’s comment and glanced to the bed beside them. “But we’re already by the bed,” he replied, sounding confused.
Right, well she’d gotten quite a bit out of it before they ran into a roadblock, so she shouldn’t have been surprised. Hooking her fingers in the waistband of his boxers she pulled him the last of the way to the bed, until the backs of her knees bumped against it. “Let me try that again. Would you rather do more, or go to sleep?” she asked.
Would I...Oh! Blushing at his mistake, Matt ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck, the gesture looking even more obvious than usual on him given his state of undress. It only took a moment for him to make his mind up though, dick already twitching in his underwear. “I don’t want to go to sleep,” he said, looking back at her with a shy smile.
Edan pushed up on her toes to kiss him again, something lingering and deep, hands still in his underwear, tracing his hipbones. After drawing the kiss out she moved back properly, sitting back on the bed and reaching to undo her bra and slip it off before reaching back to pull at his boxers again. “Good. Me either.” She kissed his hipbone, where her fingers had just been, wanting to make the most of the moment that they had. It would hurt like hell to wake up and find him keeping his distance, but she would deal with that then.
Back to feeling more than a little lost at sea, Matt was grateful Edan had taken charge again, particularly when he opened his eyes after the kiss to be presented with her sat completely naked on his bed and his brain pretty much short circuited. Torn between wanting to reach out and touch her and stepping back to get a better look at her, all he found he could do was stand there, letting out a happy sounding sigh as her lips brushed against him.
While Edan wanted to return his favor from earlier, she worried it might be too much for Matt. It was asking a lot, turning over a massive amount of control to someone else and the last thing she wanted was to scare him by surprising him. Going down on him was something her mind was telling her needed to be talked through and she really didn't want to talk right now. So she went a different route, teeth grazing and nipping at the soft skin on his hips as she worked his boxers off.
Objectively speaking, Matt knew he wasn’t unattractive even with the still livid scar on his stomach but that didn’t help him feel any more comfortable in his skin and while he didn’t go so far as to try and cover himself up, he did tense up a little as Edan got his boxers down past his hips and they slid to the floor.
Edan let her fingers trace over the scar gently, taking in Matt before pulling him back down towards the bed so he could join her. There was nothing there she didn’t like seeing, nothing there she didn’t want, because right now, it wasn’t about someone or feeling like something might fill her empty spaces, it was about Matt.
As much as it could have felt more awkward, he actually felt more comfortable once they were lying together on the bed and the room warm enough that there was no need to pull the sheets up over them. Instead he was able to enjoy watching the play of light across her skin and found himself itching to take a photograph of her like it, fingers twitching to press a shutter button that wasn’t there.
She reached for him, pulling him closer, loving that it was like this. Her hand curled on his hip, and rolling more on her back to coax him over her. “Do you want to?”
For a split second Matt thought she was talking about him taking her picture and was about to look round for it when the position she had moved them into dawned on him. "I t...t...think so," he said quietly, and despite the nerves showing in his voice, he smiled down at her. "I'm assuming that you want to as well?"
Edan smiled at Matt for a moment before biting her lip and curling fingers around his hips. When he asked the same question back she nodded eagerly. "I do."
With her confirmation came another wave of nerves but he tried to keep them at bay by letting one of his hands trace over the tattoo on her ribs, the subtle difference it made to the feel of her skin helping pull his mind back to her and only her. "How do you like to...?" he ventured, glancing briefly down at where their bodies were almost meeting then back at her, hoping she'd understand what he was getting at.
Edan shivered at his fingers on her skin, smiling softly. "Lots of ways, but like this is good to start." It wasn't complicated and it put Matt in control, which she both wanted and she thought might help him through it.
It was a smart call on her part because, despite his nerves, Matt was still turned on and, as his fingers moved up her ribs to gently trace over her breasts, getting hard again. He wasn't quite there though and letting his lips take the place of his fingers, he pressed a kiss between her breasts and took himself in hand.
Edan couldn't help the shivers and slight noises at his touches and kisses. When his hand brushed against her leg she arched slightly, instinctively reaching to help him, fingers lacing with his around him.
There was something both intimate and lewd about their two hands working together like that and Matt revelled in the contradiction of it, his mouth working it's way across her chest until his lips brushed against a nipple where instinct took over and he latched on with a gentle suck, applying the barest pressure with his teeth.
Edan out a low moan, chest arching at his motions and more towards his mouth. Her grip on him tightened reflexively and her free hand found his shoulder. She didn't mean to press her nails into the skin on his shoulder, but couldn't help it a the feel of teeth against sensitive skin. "God yes."
Matt would have been encouraged by just one of the reactions he got but the combination of them together, Edan's voice, the way she moved up against him and the sharp bite of her nails was especially potent and he let out a moan of his own. Recalling how much she'd enjoyed him going down on her, he tried to repeat a little of what he done then, flicking his tongue back and forth over her nipple while it was still caught between his teeth before going back to sucking, this time harder than he had before.
He was right on the money with everything he was doing and Edan was responding in kind. Her nails bit harder in skin, enough to leave tiny half moon impressions in her wake and her hips twitched against his, wanting more.
And as much as he wanted to carry on what he was doing, so did Matt. Fully hard now, the twitch of Edan's hips was all the signal he needed and pulling back just a little, he lined himself up against her and then pushed in, letting out a cry as he was enveloped by warm and wet and oh so good.
Edan's noise was sharper and tapered off into a whimper. It had been long enough that it took her body a moment to respond, nails biting into his skin again as she held on tight. But it wasn't all adjusting and remembering old feelings. There was that sensation she loved so much, the sense of not being alone anymore and her hips betrayed her, meeting his and shifting the angle to take more.
With no frame of reference to work from, Matt wasn't sure whether her reaction meant what'd done felt good or not and for a few moments he didn't move, instead letting himself try and get used to the new feeling. Then Edan shifted and the new angle had him gasping, his head falling forward and without thinking about it, he began to gently rock his hips back and forth.
Edan was nodding as he started to move, murmuring slightly. She was glad he didn't seem to be thinking. Thinking would ruin the whole thing for both of them and she was fine with letting it go. After a moment she moved her hips to meet his, keeping the same pace, but upping the intensity.
Intense was the word - each roll of their hips seemed to bring a new wave of sensation crashing down over his head and it didn't take long before his hands were bunched up in the sheets either side of them, like somehow it would tether him and stop him from getting overwhelmed. Needing something familiar amongst the sea of new before he got lost, Matt lent forward and captured Edan's lips between his in a kiss that somehow managed to be both desperate and sweet.
Habit had taken over and Edan's leg hooked around Matt to keep him close. She was still holding on, still leaning tiny nail marks in his skin, but the kiss quieted the worst of her soft moans, answering it eagerly before shift the speed of her hips to move them faster. In the back of her mind she knew it couldn't last long, there were some factors that might help, but it was still his first time. Even if he left her behind, she didn't want to miss out on the feelings though.
It was Matt’s turn to whimper as she sped up, letting go of the sheets so he could wrap his arms around her instead, feeling for all the world like he was on the verge of coming apart which was terrifying and at the same time felt so good, he didn’t actually want it to stop.
She was surprised at how good that felt, his arms around her. His name was there as everything rose higher and she had a sinking feeling she'd finish this teetering on a edge but not getting there. It didn't stop her from gripping at him more, repeating his name a little louder than before.
With every breathy gasp of his name, every mark left by nails biting into his skin, Matt came closer to the edge but, wrapped up as he was, he hadn't forgotten about Edan and wanted her with him every step of the way. So once again, he latched onto the side of her neck, lavishing kisses and bites that started gentle but grew harder as he got closer to orgasm, his hand slipping between them to cup one of her breasts, thumb brushing over the nipple.
For all his hang ups, fears, and going on about how inexperienced he was, Matt wasn't bad at this. His attempts to pull her with him did the trick and as her chest arched into his hand, her fingers found his hair, holding there as well. When she said his name this time, it came out differently, a warning that she was right there at that edge needing that last push.
And Matt needed no more encouragement to provide it. Holding onto her tightly, he sped up and from then it seemed only seconds had passed before the feeling crept up on him again, like his skin was getting tighter all over and, blood pounding in his ears, he came with a cry, his face buried against Edan's neck.
The extra speed gave her what she needed and she was with him, gripping him hard as everything about her tightened around him and she cried out. She was shaking through it, but eventually it passed and left her breathing heavily, holding him close.
He was in no hurry to let go of her either and for a little while, they simply laid there in companionable quiet. All too soon though, his muscles began to protest at holding position for long and with a unhappy sigh and a slight wince, pulled away and flopped down on the bed beside her. He had a smile on his face as he looked at her though and his hand was quick to seek out one of hers, bringing it up to his mouth and pressing a kiss to the knuckles.
When he moved Edan surprised herself by letting out a soft moan at losing him. Once he had her hand though she was rolling to her side towards him, resting her head against his shoulder. "You okay?"'she ventured, hoping the smile meant yes.