Adam Samuels (adamsammy) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2012-08-14 17:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | adam, adam and kyle, day one, kyle |
a tentative friendship
Characters: Adam and Kyle
Setting: Midday, Second Floor
Kyle was nothing if not methodical in his investigation of the facility. He started on the ground floor and worked his way round from his room. Sure, he had a map, but seeing something drawn out on paper was not the same as experiencing it. He wanted to get a feel for this place that was going to be his home for an undefined length of time.
And yes, he was determined to try and think about this as ‘home’ rather than ‘prison’. He had tried that with every place he had been put since the day he had walked into the precinct and handed himself in for murder. Thinking about the walls didn’t help anything. This was his life now and he was determined to live it.
It took him several hours to go through the ground floor, during which time he saw others about, but didn’t actually talk to anyone. By the time he got to the second level, however, he was itching for some conversation.
He told himself that it wasn’t exactly breaking his promise to himself that he was not going to go knocking on people’s doors and interrupting what was probably their first bit of really personal space in possibly years. After all, the guy’s door was open and he was sitting clearly visible in his room. Really, all Kyle did was slow down and stop outside the door. Hell, he didn’t even go and lean against the doorpost like he probably normally would.
“Hey, how’re you settling in?” he asked, pleasantly. “I’m Kyle - your new neighbour from downstairs.”
The door was easily the hardest thing to get used to. Adam hadn’t done more since he’d arrived than move all the furniture in the room until he was satisfied with the angles and that nothing left his back to the door. Which left the door, something he was mulling over after having read the welcome notice on the computer, if only to get the monitor to stop blinking. It wasn’t something that made sense, outside of that last line that said he could get out, that said he could be free. That was why he was here. And the door was open because he wasn’t sure what to do with it.
There’d been a gate in front of his prison cell, but it hadn’t actually hid anything from the world. The door meant privacy, which was both something he wanted and wasn’t sure he was ready for. When Kyle stopped, Adam actually looked around the room, as if Kyle might be talking to someone else. There wasn’t anyone but him in the room though, another adjustment, and which left Adam brushing at his hair and shrugging. “Okay I guess. There’s more downstairs?” He hadn’t done much in the way of exploring yet, and at the moment was only familiar with the room he was sitting in.
“Sure - there’s a map,” Kyle said, figuring that this guy hadn’t had the urge to go exploring the way he had. Kyle instinctively wanted to know the limits of his... home. Definitely home. Not prison. Home. Anyway - he wanted to know the limits. Where the boundaries were. “I’m on a tour - if you wanted to join me...?” Kyle left the sentence hanging, clearly wanting the guy to add in his name.
There was a map wasn’t there? Adam had seen that at some point. “Is it some sort of guided tour that has my room as a stop?” he asked before getting up and looking for a moment as if he didn’t know what to do with his hands before tucking them into his jeans pockets. Real pockets. That was extremely bizarre. “Adam. It’s Adam.” He took a step closer to Kyle, obviously slightly guarded in his movements, but still giving it his best shot.
Kyle glanced around, then back at Adam. “Well, so far it’s just been me, so if you do want a tour guide, I guess I’m it. I know where the kitchen is, at least. Well, the kitchen, the dining room with the elevator off of it. The gym, the library. Tool shed. And a whole lot of grass. I’d add in a couple of stairwells, but really, they’re not that interesting, unless you’re really into stairs,” he joked, his blue eyes sparkling, making him look younger than his 20 years - though that was hardly a feat. Even on the worst of days, Kyle had that kind of innocent appearance to him. He didn’t try and get any closer to Adam, respecting his space. He kept all outward suggestions of friendliness to his tone - but there was plenty there. Today, Kyle was in a good mood, and it showed.
When was the last time Adam had had a normal conversation with someone? Two years at least. Possibly before then since his friend had gone off the rails towards the end there. “I am a pretty big fan of stairs. Like...really big fan.” Adam couldn’t help the smirk, twitching at the edge of his mouth. There was something disarming about Kyle, though that might have been what landed him in this program in the first place. Rehabilitation from being so disarming you got whatever you wanted.
"Then you're going to love this place," Kyle grinned. "There's two whole sets. You coming?" he suggested, glancing down the corridor, then back through the door.
Adam considered it for a moment, not able to help a half smile in response to Kyle’s which had him ducking his head as if to hide it. He looked back into the room behind him, computer with conversations people had posted already pulled up but he hadn’t responded, just read what they wrote. So it was that, or interaction with a real person who didn’t seem interested in taking advantage of him and honestly, Adam was sure he could take Kyle if it came down to it. “Sure, why not?” He stepped out of the room more, closing the door behind him.
Kyle stepped back and waited for Adam to head out onto the concourse overlooking the grassed over courtyard. He glanced down at the area below, noting a girl sitting under a tree. It all felt so very normal - if one discounted the fact that they couldn't leave. Nothing new there though. He'd committed to more than a decade of not being able to leave, and he certainly hadn't envisaged this being involved.
Following after him, Adam glanced down into the courtyard as well. “There’s girls here,” he said, stating the obvious but still sounded slightly shocked. He’d seen their posts on the computer, but seeing one, that was surprising. Of course he’d gotten into this mess because of a girl which meant he was probably going to avoid them like the plague, but it was still something different to look at after looking at just guys for a year.
"So it would seem," Kyle said, dryly, though with a hint of humour in there. He looked over at Adam. "So, Adam - you been in for long?" he asked. It seemed rather more polite than asking what the guy had done, and he didn't particularly like the idea of people being defined by their crimes.
Adam almost laughed, but laughter didn’t come easily these days. “Twenty-two months,” he said pulling his eyes away from the girl and meeting Kyle’s. “You?” He had a figure the next question was what he’d done, which was why he’d returned the question. Did it matter how long they’d been there? Not really, they were here now and here was something else entirely.
"A year," Kyle said as they walked along the walkway, headed towards one set of stairs. "Feels like... Somedays it feels longer, sometimes it feels shorter. Time gets weird, y'know?"
Adam hesitated again then followed after Kyle, nodding slowly. “I tried counting, but then I actually did the math and counting made me depressed. So I sort of gave up keeping track, but at the same time you never really forget just how long you’re there.”
"I considered being all classic and putting a line on the wall for every day I was in - but really, what are you left with? A whole lot of lines. Not very inspiring. Then I considered making it into a mural - one line at a time, every day, for fifteen years. You could really make something of that. I even started it. Then they moved me to another cell after seven months and I lost the whole thing," Kyle said, sounding depressed yet resigned. There was nothing he could do about it. He was at the whim of the system.
“A mural?” That was way more impressive than anything Adam had accomplished in his time he was incarcerated. “And here I was impressed I managed to get through a book or two.”
"That was the theory," Kyle acknowledged. He shrugged, "I'm an artist. I get twitchy if I'm not creating something. Though strokes on a wall would never be my first choice of medium, a guy's gotta just take what he can get sometimes." He looked across, "Were they at least interesting books?" he asked.
“An artist...really?” And the guy was in jail. At least Adam had an excuse. “Damn. That’s not really who I expected to meet anywhere between two years ago and twenty-three years from now.” Unable to help the twitch he rubbed his knuckles against his cheek then over his head. “No. They were the two longest I could find in the library? One was about a whale I think. I’m not honestly sure.”
Kyle raised an eyebrow. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest Moby Dick - there aren't too many books out there about whales. Was it white by any chance? It's not necessarily the easiest of reads. Unless you're into that kind of thing." Kyle stopped and turned to him. "And yes, an artist. That was the plan. That was... me." He smiled, a little sadly. "But, now I'm a tour guide. So - I give you stairs," he declared, this time with an overly bright smile, theatrically gesturing to the stairwell.
“Yeah that was the one. Though by the end I’m not entirely sure he was still talkin’ about a whale. Started to wonder if the whole thing was a fucking dream and then I realized that if it was I’d be really pissed because I blew my first year in lock up reading about some dude’s fucked up trip.” Adam made a face and nodded a little. “Hey at least you had a plan,” he tried, but was pretty sure it would fall short of the ‘reassuring’ mark. Leaning into the stairwell a bit he made a point of really checking it out, turning around on the landing and looking over the edge. “I do love a good set of stairs. Seems like you can go both up and down on this one as well.” The tone he used was dry and he somehow managed to keep a straight face throughout the comment.
Kyle returned the expression. "Yeah - gotta hate those stairs that only go one way," he agreed, deadpan. He didn't make any further commentary on the book - he was getting the impression that this guy didn't have the education he did and launching into a literature conversation would only highlight that if it were the case. Kyle was not into making someone look bad today. He was trying to get off on the right foot. "So - you had no plan?" he asked.
“What’s that thing they call them? Escalators? Hate those. Never going the way I want them to. And mall security doesn’t like it when you try and run the other way on them.” This time Adam did crack a smile, looking down the stairwell. “Not really. Had a best friend who didn’t seem to want for much an I didn’t want for much either,” he said with a shrug. “Who needed a plan?” With Jeffrey around, Adam hadn’t.
Kyle mulled that over, leaning against the wall, propping one foot against it. "Must be nice - not wanting for anything. I always wanted... Something. Whatever I had, I always wanted something... Else, I suppose. More, maybe. Reaching for whatever was out of reach. I guess I still do, in a way. You sound like you were happy where you were."
“My whole life I just wanted friends, and then I had them. Didn’t need much else.” He turned to put his back against the railing, watching Kyle. “It makes sense that you’re wanting something else now, I mean...” Adam waved the space around them. “It’s a new set of walls.” And while there was a slight increase of freedom it was a still a set of walls. “Before jail...yeah. I probably was. There were moments when I worried I wasn’t, but really I was happy enough.”
"So far, a nicer set of walls though. But - I don't know about you, but I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop," he admitted. "This - this isn't what I signed up for. What I expected from all of this. Not that I'm complaining, but I want to know what the catch is. It would feel wrong if there isn't a catch."
Adam shook his head a little and almost laughed again. “I think my whole life was waiting for the other shoe to drop. That happening again would be nothing new. Though if you compare this and jail...well even if someone decided they wanted to smother me in my sleep I’d be no worse off than I was.”
Kyle’s eyes widened with concern. “Was - were things that bad for you?” he asked. Not that his own year inside had been a walk in the park at all times, but he had managed to take care of himself in one way or another. Certainly enough that he had nothing even approaching a death wish.
“It wasn’t easy,” Adam said with a shrug. “I’m not quite pretty enough, and thankfully everyone thinks I’m some sort of sick freak, but I don’t really look like I put up a good fight. Lucky for me, I do.” He looked over at Kyle for a moment then glanced back at his feet, tapping them in an uneven rhythm. “What about you?”
Kyle quirked a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I guess I’m pretty enough. And people tend to underestimate me.” He looked down at his body, then back up again. “I’m not quite as weak as I look,” he shrugged. “It comes in handy when you’re really backed into a corner. But I managed to make some ‘friends’, which kept the worst off my back.”
The laugh that finally came was dark, not very humorous. “You are pretty enough,” Adam commented with half a smile. “And honestly I was a fan of the corners. Less sides to keep an eye on.” He tapped his feet a few more times then looked back at Kyle. “Seems like we won’t have that issue here though. Or if the welcome note is to be believed.”
“Let’s hope - it’ll be a relief. But, if you need someone to help keep an eye on any of your sides, I’d be happy to.” He paused, then felt the need to add, “No strings attached - I don’t work that way,” since so many he’d met in the last year did.
Adam tilted his head back, flashing a skeptical look in Kyle’s direction. “Really? Nothing?” It made him wonder when he gave up the idea that people just did things to do them, not for something in return. “Hard to say not that.”
“Nothing expected, not like that. Not out of obligation. Not in that way. Things given in return should be because you want to - not because you’re afraid of what would happen if you didn’t.” Kyle very much believed in giving for what you receive, but not in the way that so many people did. He had always found it hard to explain to most people, so generally didn’t try to do so, but he knew how he viewed things.
Taking a moment to consider that Adam pushed himself up to sit on the stair railing. He didn’t care that the ground was just behind him, that he could fall, that was nothing. “I think I could work with that. And make the same offer.” It would be good to have someone who had his back at the very least.
That got a genuine smile from Kyle. “Offer accepted then. I have your back, you have mine - no strings attached,” he said, sounding content with that. “Anything else we can work out as we go along.”
The smile surprised Adam, seeing as something really and not sure what he’d said to yield it. “Sounds like a plan.” And he might have made a friend. “So what else do you do beyond drawing pictures on walls?”
“Assuming you mean before the last year? Because for the past year I’ve pretty much been making license plates and doing laundry,” Kyle said with a laugh, rolling his eyes.
“Yes before then. There was a point where I did more than read books that don’t make sense.” He shrugged and rocked on the railing a little.
“You mean that wasn’t just your mission in life? Fine, okay - me, I was an art student in New York. Not murals though, sculpture was my thing of choice.”
“Sculpture...like out of stone and such?” he asked raising one eyebrow. “Crazy. I don’t think I can think that big.” He waved both hands then went back to holding on to the railing.
“Sculpture can be made out of stone - that’s definitely what people tend to think of. But I prefer metal.” Kyle grinned. “My piece do tend to be big though. There’s definitely big in there,” he said, happily.
Adam bobbed his head a little, almost a not, almost a twitch. “That’s cool dude. The big thing. I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like that. Or I know I never had. Never been much of a...creator.”
“So, what would you say you were?” Kyle asked, tilting his head to one side, looking interested. “You said you weren’t always... well... Reading books that don’t make sense.”
Tilting his head back and forth a little Adam considered another answer, trying to sort out a good choice of words. “Destroyer probably. That for sure. Otherwise, a drifter I guess. Worked part-time as a waiter, mostly just hung out otherwise.” He probably could have done something more productive with his life, but there hadn’t been a huge push to do that and he hadn’t worried about it too much.
“Sounds like a laid back life,” Kyle said. “Why a destroyer? I mean - you said ‘definitely’....” He hesitated from coming out and asking specifically, but the way the question hung clearly stated that he wanted to know.
“Lazy, that’s the word my grandmother used to use for it,” Adam clarified with half a smirk even if that had been a hard thing to hear. “My friends and I used to pull pranks every so often, and they tended to tear things down more than build new things.”
Kyle caught that. “They tended to tear things down - but you said you were a destroyer. Did you not tear things down? Or are you an extension of your friends?” he asked, curiously.
“We is probably more accurate. I rarely made the decisions, but I was a part in all of it.” Because not being a part would have meant not having his friends anymore, and that was something he hadn’t been willing to sacrifice.
That said a lot to Kyle about the type of person he was talking to, but he said nothing about that. “You miss your friends then,” he surmised.
That was a hard statement to respond to and whatever smile Adam had left his face and he stared at the floor instead. “No. Not like you think.” He missed what he’d had before things went to shit. Then he’d probably killed a girl and his best friend’s lawyer had threatened him into taking a deal. That he didn’t miss at all.
“Oh - I... There’s a story there,” Kyle observed, but didn’t ask. “You ever wanna air, just say. But - you’re... Yeah. Screw them.” It seemed like the right response. And it was hardly like he could proclaim ‘you’re better off without them’. Because, hello: prison. Definitely inappropriate.
Adam bit at his lip then nodded. “Yeah screw them indeed,” he added. “Maybe it’s a story for another time. Preferably one with a drink or five.”
“You think they’re gonna let us have alcohol here?” Kyle mused, arching a brow. “Because that - has been missed.”
“No idea,” Adam said with a shrug though it was more just a shift in his shoulders when he didn’t let go of the railing. “Been missed here too though my luck I wouldn’t be able to handle it because I’ve been sober too long. Though if they really wanted to keep us in check that would be the way to do it. We’d all go to bed on time.” And Adam might not dream, which would be a welcome relief.
“So - you would be a calm, happy, sleepy drunk then,” Kyle laughed. “Which so many people aren’t. I’m telling you, if there’s alcohol, there’s gonna be some that’ll be all ‘going to bed now’ - but I predict at least half a dozen that’ll be up until all hours tearing the place apart and trying their best to make sure nobody gets any sleep.”
That got a smile out of Adam. “Normally I’d be in that second category, keeping everyone awake, but after two years off? I might pass out after two drinks.” Which would be depressing in its own odd way. “Probably should hold off, at least until I get used to having the pump again.” He tapped his pocket where the device was tucked.
“The pump?” Kyle asked, frowning at that. He felt like he’d missed something important that Adam was assuming he knew about or something.
“Huh? Oh, yeah sorry.” Adam jumped down and pulled the insulin pump out of his pocket and held it out for Kyle to see. “It’s an insulin pump for diabetes. When I was in prison they put me back on shots since I wasn’t allowed to have this on my person. Got it back when I got here.”
Kyle didn’t move to take it, though he peered. “Wow, so - medical stuff. Which I’m gonna stay over here for. I - know nothing about that kind of thing and no offence, but I’m kinda afraid I’d break something. And then everything would go horribly wrong and you’d get sick and I would have no idea what to do. So, I’m just gonna stay over here and look from a distance and you can stay being just fine and we don’t have to worry about what the hell we’d do it there’s a medical emergency because it’s only just kicked in about the fact that I have no idea what we’d do if someone got sick and yeah - I’m starting to babble, so shutting up now. Sorry.”
Adam almost laugh, biting at his lip to keep from really bursting out. He tucked the pump back in his pocket and then jumped back up on the railing. “You wouldn’t kill me just yet, had it since I was eight so I have a handle on how to take care of myself,” he promised. “Though I suppose if something went wrong someone would swoop in right? It’s not like they’d just let us die or something.” At least hopefully not.
“Hopefully?” Kyle suggested, feeling a little better with the reassurance. “And - I’m glad you can take care of yourself.” He looked awkward for a moment and decided not to add anything further.
Adam noticed that he looked uncomfortable, maybe even like he was holding something back. “If you ever want me to explain it and what to do should something go wrong? Let me know.” Maybe that would help and he’d just leave needles as much out of it as possible.
Kyle nodded. “Yeah - that would be good. I’d like that,” he said, smiling a little. “But, in the meantime - you want the rest of that tour?” he asked. After all, he’d promised and he wanted to keep that promise.
Adam nodded again and jumped down from the railing waving for Kyle to move first. “By all means, lead away.” He did his best to seem disarming, especially since he’d made Kyle nervous.