The Nervous Little Unicorn
Characters: Dominic and Becka Setting: Her room, mid-morning Dominic had been walking around, more or less checking out rooms he'd completely neglected to see in the first two days, due to his intense need to be catching up with Meg. So, he'd missed out on anything much more than the courtyard, kitchen and cafeteria.
As he was on his wander, he stopped, seeing one of the room doors wide open, and he glanced inside, to see who, if anyone, was in there. He didn't announce his presence right away or anything, just checking out what was up.
Becka had a Plan. It wasn’t fully formed yet, but she still had a plan, and she was excited to get started on it. She was going to talk to Kyle more later about different things she could do over the base color she was setting up to paint. She’d picked out the base color, a very pretty pale blue that looked to her like the sky peeking through thin clouds, she’d brought the supplies she would need, including a couple tarps, paint pans, straight and roll brushes, and painters tape. Now it was just a matter of getting to the walls. She’d left the door open, wanting as much ventilation as possible while she was painting, but she didn’t notice right away when someone stopped in her doorway. Turning to move the little side table next to the loveseat, Becka nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw a man standing there, and she felt even more anxious moments later when she recognized him. Smile, Becka. Listening to that little voice in the back of her head that sounded oddly like her grandma, she smiled slightly, if a little later than she probably ought to have. “Hello,” she said, and after only a moment’s hesitation, not sure if he would be bothered by being recognized, she added, “Dominic, right? I’m Becka.” At least he should know her by name, as they’d commented a bit on the journals already.
When the blonde in the room looked so damn startled, Dominic put his hands up and rocked back slightly, taking a step back. "Hi." he said. "Didn't mean to scare you." he added. Then he arched a brow. "...you know who I am." he noted. Which he shouldn't be shocked about or anything, but it was still weird to him. The whole 'fame' thing was weird in general, and he never quite knew what to expect from those who did recognize him. "Hi Becka. I think I commented on one of your posts."
“That’s all right, just didn’t expect someone in the doorway, but then when you leave it open, I guess it’s not all that unexpected,” Becka rambled a bit, flushing faintly and pushing a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. “I... yeah. Saw you and Megan on the news and all,” she admitted, unable to keep the honest response to herself. God, she did not like feeling this way, all anxious and jittery about Dominic Ravin standing in her doorway, and she hated that she wished that she wasn’t alone. She didn’t want to prejudge him for the crimes the news reported, that he was convicted of. “Yeah, yeah you did. You encouraged Adam to get answers to questions after that whole ‘rubbing’ fiasco,” she responded, willing the flush on her cheeks to fade. “And I commented on one of yours, the question one of what we’re all in here for.” He hadn’t responded to those comments, though, so she’d just figured it was a for everyone’s information type of deal.
Dominic leaned back against the railing, not invading her space as she rambled. He shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to look non-threatening. He was able to just pick up details as she went on, seeing she was painting her room. That explained the smell. He just paid rapt attention, watching her body language, where she put her gaze, how she tucked her hair behind her ear, everything.
He definitely needed to not invade her space. She reminded him of a rabbit in the headlights. Right. "The news had a lot to say." he said neutrally, still trying to work out what her nerves were about. "And thanks for answering. I thought it was a good idea for people to be informed."
Becka blew out a breath when she realized that he was moving back and being all non-invasive, and the optimist in her had no trouble coming back out. “The news always has a lot to say about everything,” she pointed out with an amused smile that was far more relaxed than it had been even just moments ago. “You’re welcome. I think it is too, even if some of it’s not really....” she trailed off, feeling slightly awkward again. She didn’t want to bring up how it had been hard to read what some of the people were in for, what Adam was in for. He would explain eventually, and she would just keep trying not to think about it.
Okay, so it's definitely me... Dominic noted, what with her obvious relaxation after he was farther away. Not that he could blame her, really. And while he didn't mind being intimidating, he didn't especially want scared little rabbit girls afraid of him. "Pretty." he provided a word for her. A lot of it was a whole lot of not pretty.
“Pretty’s one way of putting it,” Becka replied with a soft laugh, shaking her head. She lifted the side table, moving it awkwardly and setting it upside-down on her bed. Though now that left her with the couch in the way of painting this wall, and she really didn’t think moving that would be that easy on her own. “D’you... Would you mind giving me a hand moving the loveseat?” she asked, ignoring the little twist of nerves in her stomach at the thought of him coming into her room. He was being nothing but nice, and she should judge him on that, not on past sins.
Dominic smirked faintly, watching her with an arched eyebrow. "You sure you want me anywhere near you?" he asked, coming right out with it, even if his tone wasn't needling at all. It was more laid back than that, just an acknowledgement that he knew he made her nervous, and so... There was an out, there, if she wanted to take it, no hard feelings.
Becka blanched, not liking that her hesitance about him was apparently pretty clear. “Well, I know that my parents taught me not to judge on someone’s past but on how they carry themselves in the present and the things they do now, and the fact that you’d even ask is pretty telling.” She wasn’t worried about it so much now, and she didn’t think it was just her feeling brave, but in this place she really couldn’t be sure. “It would take a lot more time and effort to try to move it myself,” she added.
"A noble idea," Dominic commented. "But knowing what people are capable of is something else. You keep all that in mind. That said, I'm not going to hurt you. In fact, I just don't hurt girls, period." The women assaulted during he and Meg's spree had been all Meg. He did push off the rail, however, and walk into her room, keeping as much distance as possible while still heading for the couch, to help her move it. "Where's this going?"
Becka took his words seriously, knowing that it wouldn’t really be wise for her to forget what the people around her had done. It wasn’t like stealing a candy bar or cheating on a girlfriend, the people here had done serious crimes, or at least had been convicted of doing them, and it wouldn’t be smart to paint them in completely different colors. She smiled softly at the assurance, feeling the honesty in the words. She didn’t think he would hurt her, not now. “Umm, pushed up against the desk and in front of the dresser,” she decided after a moment, moving to lift the side of the couch nearest her.
Dominic eyed her for a moment, then shook his head. "Just move out of the way." he said, pushing it aside for her without her help. He had it covered. "So where'd you get the paint?" he asked, looking at her walls. "I saw people offering to help with decor..." he trailed off, not sure if she was one of them, or if it was someone else.
Becka’s brows furrowed at the order, but she dropped her face in her hands, laughing for a moment when he just moved it himself. Didn’t that just make her feel like a silly girl, needing the big strong guy to come move her furniture for her. It was an almost normal moment. “Oh, both Kyle and I requested some, and there were a bunch of boxes of art supplies in the cafeteria this morning,” she explained. “And yeah, that would have been Kyle. He’s like the resident artist, I guess. I’m not much of an artist, but I can paint a wall a solid color just fine.”
Dominic nodded, eyeing the wall as he thought things over. "Was just thinking about a mural. Or, sort of a mural, I guess. Like if I got a picture of the grand canyon, if he could do something like that. I'd want something like that for MM." he said, not thinking about the use of the nickname instead of 'Meg'.
Becka smiled at the mention of a Grand Canyon mural. “Megan?” she guessed at the nickname, trying not to let her smile dim at all. “That would be pretty cool. I was thinking of asking him to do like a beach sunset type mural. I mean, I’ve never seen the beach, so that would be kinda cool. And I’m rambling, sorry,” she said, sending him a sheepish grin.
Glancing at Becka out of the corner of his eye, he nodded. “Yeah. Megan. Though I think I’m one of the only people that call her that. Though, maybe you do now.” he noted. “A sunset would be nice.” he agreed. If the guy was any good, it could be awesome. Though he had no idea what kind of time that would take. He looked at her with a faint quirked smile. “No, rambling is when you go on and on and trip over words, and get off topic.” he told her. “You’re just talking, about the subject at hand. You’re good. No apologies for shit you’re not even doing.”
“Well, I haven’t met her yet, so I don’t know. What should I call her?” Becka was definitely feeling just a little foolish, and she wanted to shake the feeling off. It didn’t help that as much as she didn’t want there to be, there were still some nerves lingering, and she just didn’t know how to navigate things with them. To say she was out of her element would have been an understatement. She bit her lip when he countered her apology, shrugging her shoulders slightly. “I’m a little out of my element here,” she said by way of explanation. She moved to pick the tarp off her bed, unfolding it to lay it out. “You... You guys traveled some, right?” she asked, glancing at him out of the corner of her eyes. He’d said he wouldn’t hurt her, but she couldn’t stop her mind from flashing the headlines from their crimes, some of which she wasn’t sure she wasn’t making up out of an overactive imagination under the circumstances.
“Meg.” Dominic said. He watched her as she spoke, moving back towards the door to lean in the frame, one shoulder against it. “You look out of your element.” he said, though it wasn’t a slam on her. She just definitely looked like a fish out of water. “We traveled. Crisscrossed back and forth through the country. I’d wanted to take her to Europe, but she didn’t have a passport, and once everything went to hell, well. That wasn’t going to happen.” he explained.
Becka nodded slightly, filing the name away to remember for when she did meet Meg - and she was assuming it would be a when. With as few people as were living in this space, it was only a matter of time before they all ran into one another, right? Although she wasn’t prone to them, she couldn’t help the moment of insecurity at his observation. Should she be trying to look more like she fit in here? She’d always just been herself, through everything, and she couldn’t imagine trying to be anything but. “I didn’t get out of Minnesota too often, but we did go on a few vacations - my family and I. And I’ve never been out of the country, but maybe once you guys are out of this place, you’ll finally be able to go to Europe?” she offered optimistically.
“I hope so.” Dominic said. “I’ve been out of the country. Traveled pretty extensively with my family when I was a kid, though...” he trailed off, looking away and shrugging. “It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.” he admitted. “But MM, she didn’t travel much either, when we met. So, I of course wanted to show her anything and everything. First placed I promised to take her was the grand canyon.”
Becka wasn’t surprised to hear that he’d traveled as a kid, remembering that he’d come from a more well-off family and that Meg had coming from, well, pretty much the exact opposite. It was amazing how little tidbits she’d seen in the news about them were coming back to her, amazing and more than a little awkward. She really wished she hadn’t watched the news. “Well, traveling’s always better with people you love and can have fun with. Did you guys ever make it to the Grand Canyon? I’ve never been that far south.”
’Family’ doesn’t count as ‘people you love and can have fun with’? went through his mind, even if in his case that really was how it went. His family had been comprised of assholes who made his whole world feel numb. “Yeah, we made it. A little worse for wear, but we made it.” Dominic shared. He didn’t see why not. She knew enough about them to have recognized him on sight, and had clearly followed the story. Possibly telling her whatever she wanted to know would help ease her mind.
Biting her lower lip, Becka turned to get the painter’s tape, kneeling down to start taping along the baseboard. “At least you guys got to see it. I think that would be pretty awesome to see,” she commented, keeping her focus on the tape. Maybe it was so much more difficult for her to be herself with him, to be the bubbly friendly person that usually took no effort because she’d followed the news reports on his and Meg’s crimes, because she’d been so disturbed by the things reported. It was difficult to reconcile things in her head. “Did you guys get to see anything else neat like that?” she asked. If he was going to stick around, which she really didn’t mind, she was hoping to keep the conversation on positive things.
“Do you want help with that?” he asked, watching her lay tape down. “And yeah, we saw a lot of things. I still wish we would have been able to just...disappear.” he said. “That was pretty much the plan, originally. We were just going to run off together, leave everything behind.” Then her dad ended up dead. Never did get his brains out of my clothes.
Becka glanced up, taking a moment for her mind to catch up with what he’d asked. “Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks,” she answered with a smile. “I grabbed a couple rolls,” she added, motioning to the other one sitting on her bed. He sounded... she couldn’t really find the right word for it, sad sounded too simple and she didn’t really think depressed was accurate. Disappointed? Maybe. “Why didn’t you?” she asked almost hesitantly. “I mean... Well, they said you came from money, and...” she trailed off, worried that she was miss-stepping or offending him. She just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t have taken some money and just disappeared with Meg. But maybe a concept like that only worked in fiction, she didn’t know.
Dominic walked in and started to help with the tape. He finished off a section before he looked at her, considering. “Are you asking what set everything off?” he asked. “If you want to know something, ask. The media...well. It’s only half the story, isn’t it?” he posed. Since it was. It was one side. And sure, there’d been interviews eventually with them, but their story was a nightmare, really. The media blowing up all over on one side of it, the internet on the other. They’d been in the center of a shit storm, to be certain.
Becka sighed softly as shifted off her knees to sit down, facing him. “I’m not usually awkward with people,” she began, not answering his question right away. She would get to that. “I don’t struggle with conversations, and even in prison and here so far, I haven’t had too hard a time, but, well, like you said, the media’s half the story, and the media had a heck of a lot to say about you two. I’m not gonna pretend to have all the facts or anything, cause I know I don’t, but I’m not gonna ask you to tell me about it if you don’t want to, either.” Blowing out a breath, she went back to her original point. “What I was asking, though, was why you guys didn’t just disappear after her father. Run away and start a new life somewhere or something.”
“Because it’s easier said than done.” Dominic said. “People watch movies, and think that that’s a thing. That you really can just run off and disappear, and all’s well. In the real world...not quite so much. We would have left, but couldn’t leave the country, because she didn’t have the ID to do it. I wasn’t going to go without her. Everyone’s tracked by numbers at this point. And maybe some people can come up with new identification easily, but I sure as hell didn’t have the connections. MM had some, we did eventually get fake IDs but you can only get so far on those. You can’t actually set up a life with an ID that would fail its first real scrutinization.” He shrugged. “We’d just gone there to get her stuff. Then everything got completely fucked.”
Becka couldn’t help the way her expression turned sympathetic as he spoke. She supposed it made sense, that it would be portrayed as something doable in movies, but not quite so in real life. “You love her, of course you wouldn’t go without her,” she murmured softly even as he kept talking. She couldn’t say she completely understood it, but she knew that when she did fall in love, that she wanted that depth to it, that devotion. Just preferably without the crime spree. “He was... Well, the news said he was abusive to her,” she began, feeling more than a little awkward and guilty bringing it up when Meg wasn’t actually here to say whether or not she wanted it discussed. “Wouldn’t that have been a good enough reason for them not to press charges on killing him?” She didn’t want to say it was right, but she just couldn’t say that it was wrong either.
Her statement got a little smile out of him. “Yeah, I do.” he confirmed. It was well established on the internet, their whole love thing, and there were more than enough statements in the media about it as well. She sounded like she definitely believed in that, without his having to say it. At the rest of it, Dominic tugged his fingers through his hair. “She told me to wait in her bedroom, while she talked to the guy, and he threw her over a table full of glass bottles and into a wall. Yeah. He was abusive.” he said, a little darkness underlying his tone, a shadow passing behind his eyes at the mere thought. It cleared fast enough, but it definitely still affected him heavily. “And just because someone’s knocking you around doesn’t mean you automatically get a free pass. Again, that’s movie bullshit, not real life. Sure, sometimes people can prove extreme, extenuating circumstances, but most people? Get second degree murder at best. Plus I beat the shit out of him before he was dead. Which isn’t to say I got out unscathed, but either way...it wouldn’t have mattered. Either I would have had to take the wrap, or she would have. No one was going to say ‘oh, it’s cool, go about your business’.”
Paling, eyes widening, Becka breathed out an “Oh my God,” at that. She couldn’t imagine a father doing that, and she felt inexplicably blessed to have had the parents she’d had. The brief darkness in his expression didn’t bother her, not when she thought a man had a right to protect the people he loved and had every right to be angry about those who would hurt them. Not just men, but still. She sighed softly, blowing out a breath when he pointed out that that was movie BS as well. “That’s not right,” she said firmly. Not that he’d beat the crud out of the man first, but that they likely would have gotten second degree murder for it. “But the rest...” She bit her lip, remembering that she’d said she wouldn’t ask. But he’d told her to ask if she wanted to know. “Did it start out as necessity, just trying to figure out how to get by, and then spiral out of control?” Did she really want to know the answer to that?
Starting to line more tape up, Dominic shrugged one shoulder. “What do you do when you know you’ve got a very, very short shelf life?” he posed. “You let go.” It was a simple answer, but the closest he could come to explaining himself. It was truth to him, even if he knew there were more layers to it than that. But at the very core of it all, that’s what it landed on. They knew they’d get brought in for it. They knew everything was going to go spiraling down. So...they’d made the most of it.
When Dominic started back with the tape, Becka waited a moment longer before doing the same, though she paused at his question. “I don’t think I ever could. Not like that,” she said softly. Forcing her hands to return to the task, she flushed faintly. “I mean, not that it isn’t understandable, in theory I guess. I just... I’m not... I don’t think I could hurt anyone, not intentionally.” She’d never been in a real fight, never had to test what she might do to defend herself.
“I didn’t set out to hurt anyone either.” Dominic told her. Really that had been Meg’s thing, in very, very specific circumstances. “And we come from different worlds, I’m guessing. So, if you let go, I’m sure it would encompass an entirely different set of circumstances. So...yeah. You’d not go our way. Our way probably isn’t really recommended. We were supposed to die at the end of it after all.”
Becka felt inexplicably sad for them, that things had turned out the way they had. “It’s probably a safe bet that we do, yeah,” she agreed. She didn’t think she would be able to relate to the worlds he or Meg had come from, but people were people, right? They all had the same basic needs, she figured. “I don’t think I’d ever want to find out what way I’d go,” she admitted, though she doubted that would be a surprise. “Go out with a bang?” she ventured, then wrinkled her nose faintly. “Pun unintended.”
“Well, I really don’t recommend ‘shot in the chest’ as a way to go out.” Dominic told her, flashing a little bit of a grin at her for a heartbeat. “Kinda sucks.” He’d been told he’d been touch and go there. Which was why he was thinking he needed to do something about that. He’d have to request things on the journals later, see if anyone wanted to give him a new tattoo, or if the people in charge would help with that.
Wrinkling her nose, Becka grinned slightly. “No, I wouldn’t either. The surgery and recovery must have been awful,” she commented. She wasn’t asking; no, she knew very well that it would have been even if she’d never experienced anything like it firsthand. She finished taping her section of the wall then and tossed the roll onto the bed. Standing up, she looked over the wall, eyes flicking up at the ceiling. “I should tape along the ceiling too. God knows I’m not good enough at painting not to splotch it up there,” she mused aloud. She was going to need a ladder, too. How could she have forgotten a ladder?
“It wasn’t fun. On a number of levels.” Dominic said. Not the smallest of which was he’d gotten shot, thought he was going to die, and he’d woken up to a world without Meg in it. Or, sure, she was alive and existed, but he couldn’t see her. An itch in the back of his head kicked up then. Like he needed to see her. Needed to go, find her, reaffirm to himself that she was there, that he still had access to her, she was in touching distance, he could breathe her in, and everything was okay. It was nearly overwhelming, a knot forming in his stomach. He’d never experienced something quite like it before.
Certainly, during his time in prison, he had a familiar, hollow, twisted ache inside him. It felt like an empty place in his chest, and it had nothing to do with the bullet they’d had to remove. It was not having her where he could interact with her. Co-dependent. That was the word, and he was aware of it. He was kind of ridiculous levels of co-dependent when it came to Megan, but he couldn’t (or wouldn’t) help it. This was new, though. An anxiety born out of the circumstances, and one he really hadn’t seen coming. He bit it back, but there was a big part of him that wanted to leave, right the fuck now, and go find her. He forced himself to focus on what Becka’d last said, and he glanced up towards the ceiling. “I could stand on a chair or the desk or something, and reach it just fine.” He wasn’t short, really. He could manage it.
Oblivious to Dominic’s inner anxiety, Becka just continued to look at the wall, thinking about how much she wasn’t looking forward to carrying a ladder all the way back to her room. She glanced at him at the offer, taking an extra moment to think about it before responding. “Oh, that’s sweet, but I’m gonna need a ladder for some of the painting anyway, so I think I’m gonna go down and grab one from the tool shed,” she explained with a little grin, her nose wrinkled in a way that said she wasn’t really looking forward to that part.
"All by yourself?" he asked. "I could help you." he offered. He could put off doing something even he considered insane. Because he already knew he'd go find Meg the second he wasn't talking to Becka. But he could try and see if he could put off the Crazy.
Becka huffed joking, putting her hands on her hips as she tried to look at him with an annoyed expression that she just couldn’t pull off. “I’m small, but I can do things,” she protested, though not seriously. “I wouldn’t say no to getting a hand with the ladder, though. Pretty sure that would be a pain to get up here on my own,” she conceded, smiling at him. It was odd, in a way, that she felt so much more comfortable around him after their conversation. She supposed that it must be because while she couldn’t fully condone what he’d done, she did understand it better now.
"Trust me, I know all about how capable small girls can be." Dominic told her, which was said in a teasing sort of amused tone, and yet was totally serious at the same time. Meg was a little thing. Pocket sized, as it were. He could pick her up and move her around anywhere he wanted to, because she was just that tiny a girl. But that didn't in any way make her helpless. Not even a little bit. "And it would be a pain in the ass. So, c'mon. Let's go get you a ladder, if you're going to insist on having one."
Even though his tone didn’t sound completely serious, Becka didn’t doubt it. She recalled the pictures of Meg that the news had shown, and there was no denying that the woman Dominic was in love with was tiny. “I do insist,” she reiterated stubbornly, smiling widely. She moved past him, shutting the door though not locking it once they were both out of her room, and she was proud of herself for not reacting to the close proximity. Heading down the walk, she opened the door to the stairwell. The walk was short to the tool shed, and once inside she couldn’t help the way her eyes flickered to the workbench, biting her lip as she smiled softly at the memory of talking to Adam there last night.
He smiled at her, then followed along behind her, hands shoved into his pockets. When he saw her smiling like that, he arched a brow. "Have a thing for the work bench, do you?" he teased. "I mean, I can leave you alone, just drop the ladder off outside your door..."
Growing up with three brothers really should have better prepared her for teasing, but Becka still found herself flushing and shaking her head. “No, no, it’s nothing like that!” she insisted. God, this was going to be the whole ‘rubbing on’ thing all over again. “I just had a good talk there with a friend while hiding last night during the games,” she explained, though she realized after the fact that it could open the door to more needling.
He had to laugh. She was pretty easy to tease, all things told. It was kinda endearing. "A 'friend', huh." Dominic said, heavy doubt in his tone. "Sweetheart, a girl doesn't smile like that and bite her lip for a memory of a 'friend'," he said as he got the ladder off of the hooks on the wall.
“Yes, a friend,” Becka repeated stubbornly. She’d only known Adam for three days, and whether or not they were drawn to one another, friends was all that they were. So far, her mind added. “Well, that’s all we are, so I don’t really know what to say,” she said, willing the red on her cheeks to fade. Seeing that he’d got the ladder down, she turned to head out of the tool shed. Maybe some distance from the space would help with the flushing.
"Well, how about this. Maybe you're just friends? But that lip bite? That says you at the very least feel a little more amorously than that in their direction." he told her. "Even if you haven't admitted it to yourself? I know that look. That's a 'more please' look." Dominic grinned at her. "Plus the blush? Not helping your case."
Becka’s stomach was doing little flips, and she wished very much that they would move on to another topic. Her love life, or lack of one as it were, was not something she cared to talk about. “I’m not so sure this is the kind of situation to be going getting a little more amorous than friendly feelings for anyone,” she hedged, though she knew very well that it really wasn’t something anyone had control over. “And I’m fair skinned, I’ve got a natural flush.” It was a weak argument, even she knew that, but she had to try.
"Why not?" Dominic asked. He headed out of the tool shed with the ladder, it was light, made of aluminum, so he could easily manage it. "I mean, you could look at it this way--everyone in here knows about shit that no one else in the world can really understand." he said. "Prison is something people think they get, but they don't. Not really. People here? We all get it. We all know what it's like to sit through a trial. We all know what it's like to have done something wrong, or at the very least that society thinks is wrong. So...why isn't this the place?" he posed. At her other protest, he laughed. "You're also a shitty liar." he told her. "Stick with the truth, princess. Seems to suit you better. I know a blush when I see one."
Becka sighed softly, glancing away from him as he spoke. She didn’t want to disagree with him, didn’t want to make it seem like she saw herself as above anyone else, because she’d broken the law just as everyone else had, or at least were believed to have had. “It’s not quite the same. I mean, I didn’t have a trial, I took a plea bargain, and I was only there ten weeks in a minimum security place, so I guess I don’t really feel like I completely get it. But that’s not really what I meant, anyway. I’m not actually sure what I meant, other than...” God, she felt so awkward. “This is a unique situation, a closed society of a sorts with the promise of freedom, so what happens here could just be emotions running high.” She wanted it to be real, wanted to believe that it could be real. She laughed softly, shaking her head when he called her out. “I know,” she groaned good-naturedly. “I like him, but it’s more complicated than all that.” Because Adam had a lot of issues, things he wasn’t ready to talk to her about.
Dominic listened to her, letting her get her thoughts out before he tried replying. He waited for her to open the door to the stairwell so he could get the ladder inside before he spoke. "Emotions run high all the time. Doesn't mean you shouldn't go for things. Live a little. If you spend your whole life just standing around waiting for the 'right time' you're never going to get there. This place is unique, yeah. But maybe that makes it the perfect place to start something. We're all in this together, and hell, even if you don't quite get the prison thing, you get here. Which no one but whoever's in it with us knows about, period." he pointed out. "What's complicated?"
Opening the stairwell door, Becka waited until he went through before following, letting the door shut on its own behind her. “You’re right, of course,” she agreed with an almost sheepish smile. Before prison she would only have needed someone to remind her to live a little once in awhile, when she got so caught up in her work that she realized she hadn’t been out on a date or out with friends in months. “Bonding over the new environment isn’t a bad thing at all.” But that alone wasn’t what she wanted to build a relationship on. This place wasn’t designed for the casual dating she’d done in the past - dinner, maybe a movie, a kiss good night and that was it most of the time - and that scared her a little bit. There was so much she hadn’t experienced yet, but that wasn’t something she was going to admit. “A lot is complicated.” Even if it didn’t seem so complicated when he was holding her hand or when they’d played video games and laughed. “But it’s not for me to say,” she added. She wasn’t being evasive, she just really didn’t think it was her place to bring up Adam’s issues.
"I'm not asking for specifics. Just, for you, what's complicated?" Dominic rephrased. He got the ladder to the top of the stairs after a little finagling, then waited for her to open the top door for him.
Becka thought it over as she moved past him to open the next door, holding it out of the way for him to go through. “It’s...” she paused, licking her lips as she rethought what she’d been about to say, walking out onto the balcony as she willed the right words to come to mind. “Knowing what someone you like was convicted for, but not knowing the circumstances around it? It makes things complicated,” she finally said, even though she knew that that didn’t nearly cover it.
Dominic headed through the door, then made his way towards her room, listening as they walked. "So ask." he said simply. "I get people are sensitive about it sometimes. Not everyone likes talking about it, period. But if you give a shit about them, ask. It can't actually hurt anything. Unless, you already have asked, and they blew you off on it?" he asked, checking to see which circumstance he was dealing with.
“I did ask,” Becka answered. “But he didn’t blow me off.” She didn’t think it was like that, anyway. “I mean, we’ve only been here three days, right? So if he’s not ready to talk about it, then I can be patient and wait until he is, but that doesn’t mean I don’t wonder. And, well, I’m sure you know what they say about wondering.” She shrugged slightly and then opened her door once they reached it. She still didn’t want to believe that Adam could have actually killed someone, she just couldn’t see it, and even he had kinda sorta admitted that there was more to the story. So, she would just have to wait until Adam was ready to talk about it.
"Well, at least you did ask." Dominic told her, giving her mental points for that. "So many people don't. They're passive fucking personalities, and expect all the work to come from other people. It's bullshit. The best way you can show someone you give a fuck about them is to ask questions and let them know you want to know about them and everything that entails." Said the guy who'd spent the majority of his life more or less ignored.
Becka pulled a face at the approval in his tone. “I told him I wouldn’t ask, that I’d leave it for him to decide if or when he wanted to talk about it, but...” she trailed off, shrugging slightly. She’d got the impression that Adam both had and hadn’t wanted her to ask, and she tried to be considerate of those things, so it had made it a bit awkward for her to decide what to do in that situation. “But I do agree that asking, that give and take, that’s one of the best ways to show someone you care. If it’s all one sided, then well...” She held her hands out as if to say that if it was, then it was, and what was the fun in that?
Dominic glanced back at Becka, considering. "Always ask. If you're shot down, fine, but if you never ask, what's to stop people from thinking that you just can't be bothered?" he said. "So, that's understandably complicated. Pretend that part isn't part of the equation. What's stopping you otherwise from going for things? Anything?"
Brows furrowing, Becka looked at Dominic, wondering if he’d misunderstood her. “Well, I mean, it’s not like I just avoided it altogether. He’d seemed to be wondering about why I might be in, so I put it out there but told him that even though I was curious, I wouldn’t push him to tell me his,” she elaborated. At least he’d agreed that it was complicated, which made her feel less silly for focusing on that than on her own issues and nerves... And scratch that, because now he was asking about what else, and Becka knew that she didn’t have the ability to lie or evade effectively. “I... I don’t think I’d like to talk about it,” she hedged. It was clear there was something, she just hoped that Dominic wouldn’t push her on it. She would cave and tell him if he did, she knew she would.
Eyeing her a moment, he paused. "So, you didn't actually ask, you just gave him a free pass?" he asked, to see if he'd caught that right. Because that was what it sounded like. "They're different things, actually asking, or handing someone an out for something you know is there but hasn't been said." He stopped outside her door, waiting for her to let them in. "And you don't think you'd like to talk about it, or you're not going to talk about it? Consider this me officially asking. Because I'm a prying dick."
Becka blew out a breath, wondering if it was normal for all the facts to get jumbled in her head when pressed like this. “At first, yeah, I just gave him a pass. And then you did that post and so now I know what he’s in for, and last night I asked if he would tell me. He said he would, eventually, but I still don’t think he was blowing me off, cause I mean we were hiding during the games at the time, and that’s not really the situation for that kind of conversation, ya know?” Was she over-defending him now? God, she just didn’t know. She wasn’t upset with Adam, and she didn’t think he was giving her the runaround on it, so she could be patient. She would be patient. She pushed open her door and let him in first before following, debating briefly closing it before deciding to just leave it open. “I’d... rather not talk about it,” she answered with a resolve that lasted all of five seconds. “It’s just... I don’t know what I’m doing with all that. I mean, I’ve dated, like dinner and movie type stuff, but actual serious relationship? Yeah, that’s all new to me.” She flushed deeply at the admission, hoping that Dominic wouldn’t read between the lines about just what was new to her with all that.
Listening, Dominic was aware there'd been a game of hide and seek going on. So, yeah. Not the time to start pouring out shit like that. He could see it. He kind of thought it was cute, her defending him, but still. He didn't mention it. He would have let it lie if she would have kept her silence, but she didn't. He set up the ladder, taking in everything she said, though he wound up looking back at her slightly incredulously. "Dinner and movie dates." he repeated. "What about one night stands?" he asked, since she said nothing serious. But nothing serious could mean other things--though he was willing to bet she was going to turn red, get flustered and deny anything like that ever happened.
Becka was glad that he seemed focused on the ladder, but then he looked at her with that look, the one that made it clear that he read between the lines, and she just wanted to go hide. Her flush deepened at the question, and she shook her head, not trusting her voice at that moment.
He nodded, utterly unsurprised. "How old are you?" he had to ask. "And you're a virgin?" he needed that confirmed. He was guessing possibly yes, or at the very least she'd only maybe been with one guy. Still.
“Twenty-two,” she forced herself to speak, willing the embarrassment to fade. She wasn’t ashamed of the fact that she was a virgin, but that didn’t mean she liked the way people looked at her like she’d grown two heads when they found out. “Yeah, I am. By choice.” She wasn’t sure why she’d added that qualifier, but it was out there now, and she couldn’t take it back.
"A virgin. At twenty-two. Jesus, you're like a unicorn." Dominic said, flashing a little grin at her. "Okay, so by choice. Religious reasons?" he asked. "Not fallen in love yet, and you refuse to let some random asshole punch your V card for you?"
“Oh my God,” Becka groaned, dropping her face in her heads, though she was chuckling faintly. After a moment she dropped her hands, hoping her embarrassment had faded enough for her to address his questions now. “No, I’m not really religious or anything.” She believed in God, but beyond that, well, she just didn’t know. “I just don’t see it as something I need to get rid of. It’s not like I’m planning to wait for marriage or something like that, but I don’t think it’s bad or wrong to want to wait for love.” She hated when people made her feel silly or foolish for it. It was a personal choice, and she really didn’t think it was a bad thing.
"I didn't say it was." Dominic told her. Since in reality, he didn't. He was Meg's one and only. And she occasionally gave him a lot of shit for her not being his only one. He still sometimes had to make up for the fact that he hadn't been a virgin when they met, but he just did whatever he could to placate her whenever she decided to twitch over it. So, a lot of people might look at Becka like she was nuts or unreasonable for not hopping into bed with anyone yet but he got it. "I think it's reasonable." he told her, letting his honesty ring through in his tone on that.
The comment made Becka pause, looking at him in curiosity. “Oh,” she replied, biting her lip as her mind caught up with what he was saying, the honesty in his words. “Oh,” she repeated. “Well, thanks. I guess I just kinda came to expect people to give me a hard time about it.” She was glad that Dominic wouldn’t, though, and she hoped that he wouldn’t tell anyone. “Not that I’m... well, ashamed of it or anything, but I’d rather it not get around that I am,” she told him in a soft, almost small voice. Even though everyone she’d met had been very nice so far, she couldn’t let herself forget that they were all convicted of something, and she wasn’t oblivious to the fact that there were predators in the world.
He laughed a little. "What, you expected me to give you shit about it?" he asked. "Or try to convince you that it doesn't mean anything, or that you're silly for waiting?" He grabbed the tape, and started to climb the ladder to tape off the ceiling for her. "I won't tell anyone but MM. If it comes up." he said, since he was going to be totally honest with her. "I tend to tell her everything. Kind of safer that way." he admitted. "But if anyone gives you shit about it, you can direct them my way."
Becka found herself laughing, feeling silly when he asked those questions. “All things I’ve heard before, trust me. And a lot of the time it just confuses people that I am but I’m not standing behind like religion for it or anything,” she pointed out. She bit her lip when he said he’d tell Meg, but when he continued she realized that she couldn’t fault him for that. “I can live with that,” she decided. As long as Meg didn’t tell anyone, but considering she hadn’t met the other woman yet, she had to wonder if Meg had any intention of getting out a socializing at all. “I’ll keep that in mind,” she said, her appreciation of the offer clear in her voice.
"I'll tell her it's privileged information." Dominic assured her, climbing down the ladder to move it so he could continue taping. "And I could see people giving you weird looks if you're not a zealot. I get it, though." he told her. He smirked, then. "If I could erase the girls from my past before MM I would. So would she." he said, kind of amused. "She sometimes gets...let's call it 'insecure'." Or ‘incredibly pissy and unreasonable’.
“I appreciate that,” Becka said honestly. She had no way of knowing if Meg would respect that, but she could hope that she would since it would be coming from Dominic. “Awww,” she couldn’t stop herself from saying when he admitted he would erase the girls from his past before Meg, finding the sentiment so very sweet. “Ah, I think it’d be kinda understandable to have insecure moments if you’ve had other partners and she hasn’t.” And she thought there would be something incredibly special about giving to someone she loved in that way, that she would hate to have it compared to others. She rather thought it would cause a bit of insecurity in even the most confident person.
"It's not really a comparison thing, though." Dominic said, shrugging as he peeled off more tape. "She's...her. It's safe to say she's the center of my universe. Doesn't matter who else I've been with, the only girl I ever think about in that way is her. I did marry her on the spot one time she was twitching over it...but she still gets upset about it sometimes. Not that I can talk. If anyone was sniffing around her?" He shook his head. "I guarantee I wouldn't react well."
“Maybe not on your end,” Becka said gently. She didn’t think it would be too much of a surprise if Meg wondered what kind of comparison there was, but she also thought part of it might just be that no one wants to think that there are people out there who have been intimate with the one you loved, to think of them in that way. She thought she remembered something about the news reporting that they’d married but that it wasn’t legally recognized, but that hadn’t really been the focus on the news reports she’d watched. “Hopefully no one gets stupid enough to sniff around her, then,” she said, feeling a nervous little flip in her stomach as she wondered briefly just what he might do to someone who dared. She really didn’t want to think about that.
"That's it, though. It's my end that matters, isn't it? Because I'm the one who did have other people in my bed, so if there was anything to be insecure about it would come from me making comparisons. And there just...aren't with her. The second I met her, no one else in the whole world factored in. Which probably sounds pathetic, but..." he shrugged. "Whatever." He put the tape up, then moved the ladder one last time. "And yeah, I hope no one's that stupid too. But...closed environment, I'm sure there's more guys here that haven't seen a woman in a long time..." he trailed off. Then he focused on her again. "No one's looked at you like that, have they?" he asked, curious.
“It doesn’t sound pathetic at all!” Becka disagreed with a smile. “That’s what people spend their lives looking for. I think you’re lucky you found it already.” She still thought she understood where some of Meg’s insecurity might come from, but she didn’t think there would be a point in debating it further with him; that was between him and Meg, simple as that. She pulled a face when he said what she tried not to think about, that a lot of these guys probably hadn’t seen a woman in a long time. His question pulled her up short, though, and she just stared at him for a moment. “Oh! Umm, no? I don’t think so,” she answered honestly. “Everyone’s been really nice. Not like pervvy or anything.” It was possible someone had and she hadn’t realized it, but she really didn’t think anyone she’d met so far had looked at her like that.
Dominic very much believed he was lucky. He knew just how awesome it was he'd found Megan, and that they had what they did. That he'd had any time with her at all, even. But there were other words for their relationship too. Like that 'co-dependant' one. At least he wasn't alone in it. When she answered the question, however, he nodded, accepting that. "Good." he said. If she wasn't getting that vibe from people, maybe Meg wouldn't either. Not that Meg couldn't handle herself. That just didn't mean he didn't take matters into his own hands on that score.
Becka found herself hoping that no one would mess with Meg. She didn’t know the other woman, but just from this conversation alone she was pretty sure Dominic wouldn’t tolerate it, and she didn’t want him getting in any kind of trouble. It was the romantic in her, but she found herself wanting him and Meg to get that second chance, the new lives the Powers That Be promised in that welcome message, and she had a feeling that whatever Dominic might do could jeopardize that. Now that he was down from the ladder, she glanced at the wall, surprised to see that it was all taped off and ready to go. “Thanks for your help,” she said, looking at him with a smile. The little digital alarm clock on her dresser told her that it was nearing lunchtime, and if she was going to spend a lot of time painting her room, she wanted to get something to eat first. “I think I’m gonna go down for some food before I actually get to painting, though. You’re welcome to come along,” she offered.
"You're welcome." Dominic told her, giving an easy, laid back smile. He set the tape down on her desk. "I have to go find Meg. But if I get done with that, maybe I'll come find you." he told her. She was easy to be around. Easy to talk to, like Carmel had been. So, he was glad to roll with that. Plus both women seemed to be positive people, which was likely a good influence to have anywhere in his life.
“Ah, okay,” she said, nodding in understanding. Rocking on her feet, it was only a moment before impulse won out and she gave him a brief hug. “And thanks... for making me feel silly about having worried about meeting you. You’re not so bad.” Her words were said with a hint of teasing, but they were still true. Yes, he’d done some wrong, made some bad choices, but he wasn’t all bad, and she knew that now. It put her at ease in a way.
Blinking, Dominic really hadn't expected a hug. Especially not when he'd scared her earlier, made her nervous. So he was a little shocked. Not in a bad way, but it was clear he hadn't expected it. He reached up to drag his fingers through his hair, quirking a little half smirk at her. "You're welcome?" he suggested. "And thanks, I guess?" he added. Then he laughed a little at himself. "Go have lunch. I'll talk to you later."
Becka laughed lightly when he looked so surprised. She just couldn’t help it, she was an affectionate person and it wasn’t always easy to curb the impulse, something she’d had to force herself to do the past ten weeks. Here though, she found those impulses coming out more and more, and she just kept hoping that she didn’t make the wrong move with the wrong person and end up putting herself in a situation she couldn’t get herself out of. “I’m going. See you around, Dominic,” she said with a grin. She waited for him to leave, checking her pocket to make sure she had her key before leaving her room as well, locking the door behind her. She didn’t think anyone would go in her room and mess with things, but why chance it when it was all ready to go for painting?
If she did that again, the hug thing, Dominic might have to warn her to never do it where Meg was going to spot it. Meg was...possessive. Much like he was. But if it was just the once, how much harm could it be? He headed off, allowing that intense need to go find Meg and reassure himself that she was there and things were fine flood back in, since it wasn't that far beneath the surface. He had a mission, and he'd have to see it through.