Adam Samuels (adamsammy) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2013-02-16 11:01:00 |
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Entry tags: | adam, adam and wren, day twelve, wren |
From Good to Awkward
Characters: Wren and Adam
Setting: Adam's room, morning
Wren had slept well after she'd drifted off the second time there, and when she started to wake up, she automatically curled in toward Adam, shifting her back against him more firmly. It was an unconscious gesture, something that didn't quite register at all and didn't fully wake her either.
The edges of Adam's dreamless sleep tugged when she shifted into him, rousing him slightly. It was enough to have his arm circling her waist more, tightening his hold on her, waking just barely enough to lean in more towards her shoulder with a soft, contented noise.
That drew her attention up from sleep. She made a soft sound in return, drawing in a breath as she started waking up. Blinking slowly, she recognized things slowly. That she wasn't in her room, and that she was in bed with someone else. Adam. That was right. She'd spent the night in Adam's room.
Adam meanwhile was unconsciously holding on to the fading sleep, which subsequently meant he was also holding tight to Wren. The last thing he wanted was to wake up, not when it felt good for once. But sleep would have none of it and before too long he was blinking as well, realizing just how close he was to her. It sent a spark of panic, but at the same time he realized it was warm and comfortable, which made the panic part even worse.
After a moment he started to shift. He didn't completely let her go, but he started to move out of her way.
She hadn't been planning on moving, not wanting to disturb him. But when he did, she figured she was in the way, or possibly he'd changed his mind about her being this close, and she moved as well, pushing herself up onto one arm, and she looked down at him over her shoulder, hair in unruly waves down her back and around her face. "Good morning." she greeted, uncertain how to go about this. The last person she'd shared a bed with was her 'husband'.
Oh. For a moment Adam just stared at her, over him like that and tried to gather his thoughts. This had never happened. Mazie had stayed over but she hadn't been this close and everyone else before had left either right after sex or before he woke up. It was quite a bit to take in and it didn't help that Wren looked adorable with her hair messy from sleep. "Hey," he managed once his mouth was done hanging open. It wasn't until then that he realized his hand was still on her waist and he looked down at it, not sure what to do.
That expression he was giving her was kind of making her nervous. Like she wasn't meant to be where she was. Had she done the wrong thing? She noticed he hadn't pulled back or anything, so she didn't jump straight out of bed. "Hi." she greeted in return, giving him a light smile. She wasn't quite sure what else to do.
In the back of his mind he knew he needed to stop staring at her, but there was a screaming voice that was too shocked that there was a girl still in his bed that he couldn't stop. Not at first. When he got his sense back he let go of her, not able to help the pink in his cheeks. "You sleep okay?"
There it was, where he let go, and she needed to back off, so he could be comfortable again. Doing so, Wren stood up, stretching slightly as she nodded. "Yes." she answered truthfully. "Did you?" she asked, slightly worried that she'd disturbed him. That maybe he hadn't slept much at all.
The instant she was gone he wished she wasn't. It was almost crushing but beyond sitting up more and a hand starting towards her, but not specifically reaching for her, he didn't stop her. "Good. And...I did. I slept really well." He felt rested. Better.
She wasn't sure if he was reaching for her or not. Possibly she was overthinking this, but she couldn't quite help it. She didn't want to mess up, and make things difficult for him. "I'm glad." she told him honestly. It was with a light smile, unsure of herself, certainly, but she was actually happy for that. Adam had problems sleeping. She was glad she hadn’t made things worse.
"It's probably because you were here," he said before he could stop himself, not at all sure how she'd take that. Because in a way it sounded like he was hitting on her despite it being accurate. "I mean..." He started but didn't have an end to the statement and wound up just trailing off.
Wren would have been oblivious if he had been hitting on her. She merely smiled, a brighter expression. "Well, I'm glad that I could be here and help, then." she told him genuinely. She didn't know how, but maybe it was calming him down after he'd had his nightmare. Being there, talking about different things, then going back to sleep--that could help, right?
The smile she gave him helped, bringing out a small one in him. "Maybe you can stay again next time I actually sleep." It was almost teasing but slightly heavier than that.
"Sure." Wren told him, again, totally oblivious to any implications, imagined or otherwise. If he wanted help sleeping, she was happy to do that. Though she did make a little bit of a face. "Though let's not forget I have my own sleeping issues. I think tonight we lucked out that you had a nightmare, and I wasn't useless and sleepwalking..."
Adam wasn't expecting her to agree to that. It showed in his face until she made her own face and he was nodding. "I remember. Hopefully next time you need me I'm not a mess from my dreams." Though he usually didn't sleep, which evened the odds in his mind.
He looked shocked there. Oh dear. Was she just messing up all over the place? She reached up to start smoothing her hair down, feeling all kinds of self-conscious, even if she wasn't sure why. "You could also always just...lock me in a smaller room where I couldn't get out, and hope I don't make too much noise or break anything." she suggested. "Wish we had closets." But they didn't, they had wardrobes.
This time his hand caught hers, shaking his head. “I’m not going to lock you in a smaller room. Why would I do that?” He shook his head again. “How about you just sleep on the inside, by the wall? You’d have to climb over me anyway, that’s bound to wake both of us up. Certainly better than sleeping in a closet.”
"Because I am a danger to myself and others when I am dreaming like that?" she suggested. Eying the wall critically, she considered. "We could try next time I suppose. I just would not want you to be harmed in any way. I would feel terrible about that. You have enough to be concerned with while you sleep..."
“Wren,” he said pulling at her hand so she was closer. “Stop. I’m pretty sure I pushed you over when you tried to wake me up. It’s going to take a lot for you to hurt me. I can handle it. Next time you sleep on the wall side.” There was a question about when the next time would be, but he guess that they’d cross that bridge when they got to it.
When he pulled at her hand, she did get closer, though it meant she needed to either lean over or sit back down on the bed. In the end, she sat, not sure if it was the correct move or not. "Okay." she said. She still wasn't positive that it was a great plan, that they wouldn't hurt each other with their collective sleep disorders.
He was fine with her sitting there, sliding more so he was closer. “Okay,” Adam agreed, though he wasn’t sure if she was entirely with him on it. “You know you can stay here whenever you want though right? Even if I’m not sleeping. If you’d rather be somewhere where you aren’t alone?”
Adam was getting closer, and she wasn’t quite sure how to respond. Did she get closer? Was that what he wanted? He wasn’t twitching, did that mean he was okay again? All the confusion she’d repressed the night before started to inch in the back of her mind, pressing in on her even if she wasn’t sure why. “I know. And I appreciate it. Just like you know my room is always available to you.” she added.
Thinking about that for a moment, Adam smirked a little. “Do I still sleep on the floor?” he asked. It might not have been right to ask, but he was curious and he wasn’t quite sure he could handle not asking about that, which was why it was there. At least he could smile about it.
She liked seeing him smile. That made her feel better about things, but the question he asked had her blushing. She blinked, cheeks flushing red, even if she couldn't pinpoint why. The word 'inappropriate' sounded in her mind again, in Charlie's voice. "Only if you want to." she told him, making the decision that if he didn't want to, then he didn't have to. The odds of stepping on him were high, when he was on the floor.
He hadn’t meant to make her blush, and while it was actually a flattering look on her, he felt bad about it. “Actually it’s what you want I think,” he said slowly, watching her eyes.
Confusion hit her then, and that showed. She looked at him, not quite sure what he meant, by any stretch of the imagination. "...I'm sorry, I'm not following?" she admitted, feeling stupid. There was a flush of humiliation there, wishing she wasn't so stupid, or whatever it was that caused these misunderstandings. Inexperience?
Adam felt his own cheeks heat up and ran his hand over his head. “Well...you can tell me no. If you won’t be comfortable or whatever you don’t have to.” It was an odd thing to explain but given his history and what he’d heard about Becka, he couldn’t not explain himself.
It was still taking her a second to really latch onto his meaning. When it clicked, she shook her head. "Oh, that, no. It's fine. I don't mind. If I was uncomfortable, I would tell you. I'm not." she assured him. Or, mostly she was just fine, if there weren't weird emotions swirling in her head playing merry hell with her, and if she didn't keep thinking about that 'inappropriate' thing.
That it took so long to get there worried Adam and he tilted his head, watching her again. “Are you sure?” he asked. “You don’t seem very sure.”
"I'm sure." Wren said, feeling like she was failing here. She was trying very hard for things not to be awkward, but she didn't know where the lines were anymore, and she didn't know what she was confused about, and she was sure she was over thinking everything. It wasn't like her. She wanted to say something that would make her sound more confident, but wasn't sure what she could say.
Adam wasn’t completely buying it, but he wasn’t sure what else he could ask to find out what he was missing. “Okay then. It’s a plan. Or something...we’ll try it.”
Yes, she definitely felt like she was failing. "Okay." she agreed, wanting to say more, but she just didn't know what. Especially if he was thinking she wasn't sure of herself, and at least on that score, she really was. She wasn't hesitant on that. Or she was hoping she wasn't. She bit her lip, looking away, then back to him. "Have I done something wrong?"
For a few moments he'd been feeling good, pretty girl not rushing to leave, smiling at him, all contributing to a good morning, but then Wren had started to seem unsure and despite what she'd said, now it was starting to creep doubt into his own mind. Maybe he shouldn't be sure. Maybe it was too much too soon. Her question had him giving her a blank look, not at all sure where she'd gotten that from. "No, of course not. Did I make you feel that way, because I wasn't trying to. You just seem uncomfortable with the idea and I wouldn't want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable." And now he was rambling like he was Kyle and thinking of Kyle didn't help matters. Nor did that sinking feeling that liking Wren so close was clashing with the crush on Kyle that wasn't going away either.
"You seem to be doubting me." Wren said, unsure how else to word it. "I said I'd say something if I was uncomfortable. I'm really not. I slept well, I was comfortable, I didn't--" she broke off, still feeling like she was failing at something, and it was becoming less and less obvious to her what the reason was. "I don't know what I did that has you doubting me." But it was distressing.
"You were blushing. You don't do that a lot and...I don't know you didn't seem convinced." He was coming on too strong wasn't he? It was silly, but he didn't want to lose that moment, being close to someone. It was probably the best sleep he'd gotten in years, since before he was arrested and now he was messing it up. "Really, it's okay. I'm sorry I was. I just want you to be comfortable."
Wren drew in a breath, and let it out, still feeling off balance, like she was doing something wrong, but she reached out to put her hand over his. "I am." she told him, voice a little more solid this time. A little more firm. She'd been comfortable with sharing the bed, she'd slept, he had, it was fine. Nevermind any other circumstances.
And while everything was better, while it had been such a decent night, Adam still flinched when she touched him and hated himself for it. "Okay. Me too. Because it's just sleep..." The words were there before he could stop them and the moment he heard them he was blushing.
When he flinched, Wren did in return, standing up and backing up three paces immediately. She felt terrible. Terrible, and like something was wrong with her. What, she didn't know. Didn't have a clue, but that was the feeling she was very hard hit with. "I'm sorry." she said immediately, realizing she'd forgotten herself. Forgotten her own rules. And that wasn't okay. "I...yes, just sleep, and...I should go." she said, heading for the door. "I need to shower, try to work out what my duties entail now...I have a busy day ahead of me." she told him not wanting him to think it was his fault she was leaving. Everything she said did happen to be true.
“No, don’t,” Adam started but she was already closer to the door than him. “It’s not you Wren,” he tried to explain while clumsily climbing out of bed. “You know it’s not you right?” He really hoped so, but she had a list of things to do which he really couldn’t tell her not to do. So he wound up nodding, feeling like he’d ruined something good, but not sure what to do to fix it. “Sounds like it. I’m sure you’ll be great.”
She nodded hastily, hair falling into her eyes as she backed toward the door. "I know." she said, even if she didn't feel that way. When did she become deceptive? That wasn't right, was it? But then again, she didn't want him feeling badly for something he couldn't control, either. It wasn't his fault. And it wasn't his fault she was feeling off, either. It was...something wrong with her. Possibly a lot wrong with her. "Thank you for your confidence." she told him, sentiment genuine. "I hope I don't let everyone down." she said, offering him a smile. It wasn't her usual one, but it was an attempt.
He could tell the smile was off and ventured a step closer, but not enough to get there completely. Something had taken everything from kind of awesome to terribly wrong and he wasn’t at all sure what he’d done. “You won’t. Trust me.”
Her back bumped the door lightly, the doorknob jamming against her hip. Feeling behind herself, she put her hand on the knob, and looked at him for a long moment. "I'll speak to you soon, Adam." she promised, hoping that her voice carried all the sentiment behind that. She meant it. And she knew things were off, but that didn't mean they had to stay that way. She'd go...fix herself, and get back to him. That could be a plan.
Adam’s stomach sank to his feet but he wound up nodding. “Of course you will,” he promised, trying to seem comfortable and casual, but his voice didn’t quite get there. It was too tinged with the desperate sensation that she was running away from him.
She looked concerned, pained for a moment, then decided she really just needed to go. They would be fine again later. She'd stop being whatever she was being, and it would be okay. She'd go back to being her, and that was better. Wren wound up waving to him, an awkward gesture, but one that did convey that she wanted things to be okay. Or she hoped it did. Then she slipped out and shut the door behind herself. Drawing a deep breath, she let it out in a rush, then made herself move ahead with her day.