Adam Samuels (adamsammy) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2013-01-19 09:18:00 |
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Entry tags: | adam, adam and rebekah, day ten, rebekah, wu |
Recognizing the Symptoms
Characters: Adam and Wu, then Adam and Becka
Setting: late evening, Becka’s room.
Adam had hung out with Mazie until the movie ended and at that point she looked tired so he sent her to bed. Instead of heading back to his room right away he headed downstairs to the kitchen to pick up a fresh bottle of water and some supplies to treat his low blood sugars. There was a moment of hesitation as he got closer to Kyle’s room, wonder if he should stop, Mazie’s questions and suggestions weighing heavy, but he pushed on, headed back towards his room.
It had been a whirlwind of a day for Wu, though he was definitely a man who found purpose in chaos. Tending to Becka, then Meg? Processing the fact that there had been not one but two rapes here? Rallying allies, plotting, building a case against his suspected perpetrator, and even gathering together his personal effects in his room had been soothing on a level Wu had sorely missed. He would sleep well tonight, dreaming of bloodied cries for mercy. But sleep was still some handful of hours away, still a grudging eventuality that was farther down the list. And before it? He needed to relocate Becka, ensure her safety for at least one night.
Rather, he needed it seen to; Wu had other thoughts for himself, and he knew they had no place for someone in as fragile a state as Becka was. That had left him mindful of noise in the hall beyond his door, wary and waiting for someone to pull into his responsibilities. And the glimpse of Adam wandering by? It was perfect. Popping his door open a moment after Adam passed it, Wu stepped out with a quiet cough, hands folding behind his back casually. “You are Adam,” he said after the younger man, no hint of a question in his voice. He knew the boy by his face, and he was a perfect candidate for this task.
Adam heard the voice, turning more with his head first and spinning to see Wu there. “Um. Yeah, yeah I am. You’re...Wu?” That made sense right? He’d seen posts on the journals and it was hard to miss the man. “Did I do something wrong?” he started slight bit of anxiety rising into his voice.
This place was a constant test of Wu’s composure, it seemed. The idea that he had already become synonymous with a reason to worry was worth a smile, though he refused to spare one. But it was a struggle. “No,” Wu answered, though he wondered the same thing. But the boy wore anxiety on his face, not guilt. “But there is a task I would ask of you, for Becka’s sake. You two are friends, yes?”
Adam looked relieved for a moment, but then it shifted to something else. “I’d ask her what word she wants to use...” They had all but broken up hadn’t they? “What do you mean for her sake? Did something happen?” he asked stepping forward looking at Wu more closely.
“It is not for me to speak of,” Wu answered evenly, his tone making it clear that he wasn’t going to change that stance. Instead, he brought one hand around and held it out to Adam, revealing his room key sitting in his palm. “We have decided to switch rooms, for reasons you will hear from her, or not at all. I would ask you to help her in relocating, there are other matters for my focus. My clothes have been gathered, they may be left outside of Becka’s current room with the key for the door.” Yeah, he was a proper dick when it came to moments like these, and Wu knew it. But he didn’t care enough to apologize, or even acknowledge it. He wasn’t doing this to make a good impression with Adam; he was doing it to keep Becka from being alone. “The flowers may be left for her, with my regards.”
Adam listened, brow creasing in confusion. “You’re switching rooms? After she painted hers and everything?” None of this was making sense and it was making Adam anxious. There were rules and instructions and he found himself shaking his head. “What is going on?” he asked instead. “What’s wrong with Becka?” His protective streak was raising closer to the surface than it had been moments before.
“She will tell you,” he answered again, no flicker of anything breaking the composure of Wu’s expression and tone alike. He was growing annoyed with the pestering questions, even if he knew they were good-natured of Adam. They were signs of friendship and care, but that didn’t make Wu any more prone to dealing with them. And that was when he decided to be himself thoroughly.
Wu took a step closer, leaving little space between them, still offering the key out to Adam as he stared directly into the younger man’s eyes. “You will listen very carefully now,” he insisted, “I will not answer your questions, they are not mine to answer. You will knock on Becka’s door, you will tell her you have chosen to help her in my place. You will be calm, you will not upset her.” It could’ve been a hypnotist’s spiel, if the lulling voice was replaced with a composed-yet-vicious one. “Do you understand?” Wu asked at the end, some slight twitch in one cheek suggesting consequences if he didn’t.
Adam knew fear. He knew what it looked like when someone was meaning to intimidate. It didn’t make it any less intimidating or sending that rise of fear up his back, but at least he could recognize it. Swallowing he reached for the key. “I do. I’ll help.” He waited a moment before taking a step back, putting space between them.
“You have my gratitude. And a debt, should you need aid,” Wu said then, those words sharply contrasting with the terse orders he’d just handed out. “We will speak again.” Which was as close as Wu got to ‘goodbye’ with men, it seemed. Definitely so in this moment, as he turned on one heel without another word, stalking off for the stairs. There was work to do.
Adam stared at Wu as he left, not sure what to do with himself at first. That was weird, beyond weird, but then the concern for Becka took over and he was hurrying up the stairs to her room. He took a second to drop off what was in his hands before he was knocking on her door. Something was wrong. That was the only answer. And if he thought about it? He hadn’t seen her yet today. They weren’t spending time together, but he saw her places, but she wasn’t lurking around the edges of the clinic this morning or at dinner or any other meal. it made him more and more anxious which he tried hard to get off his face as Wu had instructed.
After the invasive exam, Becka had taken a couple bags for the things she’d forgotten to take down to the clinic so that they could be sent of for... whatever tests would be done on them. She really didn’t know what would happen to them, but she definitely didn’t want the clothes around as a reminder. She’d already put the clothes, the gloves she’d worn while cleaning, her sheets, and the socks that had been used as a gag into the bags, opting to be thorough with it. You never knew what you could find on them, right? And she did hope that they would be able to find something to discover who her attacker had been if Wu was unable to.
Although Wu was another story altogether. She couldn’t explain why she trusted him so much. It defied reason, and for that alone she did not spend too much time trying to work it out. No, she’d spent the evening finishing up packing her things, and then she’d resumed her position under the desk to wait for Wu to return. The lights were off in her room, but at least she hadn’t moved the couch in front of the door again. If anyone did come in? She highly doubted they would look for her under the desk, and it would be easy enough to dart out of the room before they spotted her.
The night wore on, though, and Wu did not return. It had her anxieties spiking again, and she tried hard not to work herself up about it. He was just working on figuring out who had done this, that was all. He was busy, and she couldn’t fault him for it. She was fine, right? Or at least she was trying hard to pretend that she was. When the knock finally sounded at her door, she jumped a little, brows furrowing. It wasn’t Wu’s knock, which was actually quite distinct, and she had little doubt that Wu would have announced himself as well. He’d done so before. So all of her instincts were telling her that Wu was not on the other side of the door, which meant that she stayed firmly in place and silent.
Adam was expecting her to answer, but then she didn’t. He looked more towards the windows, realizing it was dark inside. Wu had said she’d be here right? Knocking again he leaned in the door jamb. “Becks?” he asked. “You in there?”
There was no question who was on the other side when she heard Adam’s voice. She felt immediately torn, wanting to trust him, to open the door and see him, and not wanting to be anywhere near him at all. Why was he here, anyway? They’d agreed to take some time and space before trying to hang out again, and she doubted he’d had enough time to work through things enough to want to be around her again. She was quiet for much longer than she even realized as she struggled with what to do. Climbing out from under the desk, she moved a little closer to the door, arms wrapped around her middle. “Umm, yeah. I’m not feeling well,” she finally answered, hoping it would be enough for him to go away.
No shit. That much was obvious. “Sorry to hear that. Wu sent me by. Said to let you know that I’m suppose to help you move your things?” he asked, hoping she’d let him in. There wasn’t much he could do about her not letting him in, but he also didn’t want to explain that to Wu.
The explanation sounded genuine, and so she found herself reaching for the doorknob, biting her lip as she turned the lock and slowly twisted the knob. She hadn’t really wanted to see anyone but Wu, and she didn’t feel whole enough to deal with trying right now, but she hadn’t truly slept in so long that she knew she had to get the room switch done soon if she had any hope of sleeping tonight. She opened the door only wide enough that she could see Adam. “Okay, let me grab it real quick. I’ll be right out,” she told him, backing away from the door to grab the basket that was sitting on the couch. It took only a few seconds and then she was outside with him. “He gave you the key?” she asked, hoping that the question would keep him from questioning her. She knew her appearance was statement enough of just how badly she was doing.
Adam wanted to push his way in, but then she was being weird which meant he only looked in the room from the doorway, taking in the room and watching her. Once she was outside he reached for the basket in her hands, taking it and handing her the new key. “Do you have the one for this room?”
Becka couldn’t help the way she flinched slightly when Adam took her basket. She felt guilty for it, but distracted herself with his question. “Yeah,” she answered, pulling it out of a pocket and turning to lock the door of her now old room. Her task done, she tucked both keys in her pocket and turned to head down the short walk to what was now her new room in silence, keeping plenty of space between her and Adam, not even really looking at him. It’s not far enough, she couldn’t help but think of her new room.
He saw the flinch. He didn’t miss things in general and he certainly didn’t miss that or the space between them. This was weird. Really weird, but he waited until she was at the new room, not wanting to ask out in public. If anything about her was obvious, it was that this wasn’t a conversation that needed to happen in the hall.
There was more than a little relief that he wasn’t questioning her, not that it showed with all the other tensions and anxieties she was feeling. When the reached the door, she pulled the right key out and moved in to unlock the door. Going in ahead of him, she switched on the light and took a look around, stepping out of the way so he could bring her basket in. Wu’s things were all gathered together, so that was nice. It would make things easier, she supposed. Although she noticed the few bundles of flowers still hanging upside with a small frown. Wouldn’t he have put them with his things? She moved toward one of the bundles, intending to take it down and put it with his things.
Adam followed her in, set the basket down on what he guessed was her new bed. “Wu said the flowers are for you,” he said nodding towards them. “Wasn’t sure what he meant, but I guess that’s it.” He looked at her then sat on the edge of the bed, waiting. “What happened Becks?”
Hand stilling in the air, she glanced back at Adam in confusion for a moment before looking at the flowers again, a small but genuine smile curving her lips. It was sweet of Wu to think of letting her have them. Standing up on her toes, she inhaled the fragrance from the dried bundle, the scent familiar from the tea he’d given her earlier in the day. It was comforting, for a few seconds at least. Right up until Adam’s questions broke through her thoughts. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she answered, tugging the sleeves of her sweater down a bit further before wrapping her arms around her middle. And not just because the door to her new room was still open and anyone could walk by and overhear them. “Did Wu say what to do with his stuff? Will he be by later to get it?” she asked, hoping it would deter him from pushing.
“I have instructions to leave it outside for him. I’ll take care of it.” He watched her for a long moment. “Becks, he wouldn’t tell me what happened. And I know it’s not nothing. I get not wanting to talk about things and I’m not going to push things, but I’m worried. Can you give me a little bit so I know how to handle things? So I can help?”
She nodded at the answer, and then because he couldn’t just leave things be, she sighed and went to close the door. There was no part of her that thought Adam could have been the one to do this to her, and while she was nervous about being alone with anyone right now, she wasn’t afraid of him hurting her now. That and she felt unbearably vulnerable with the door open. She was still quiet when she went to sit on the computer chair, pulling one leg up to hug her knee to her chest and looking down rather than at him. “There’s nothing you can do to help, Adam. Wu’s... Wu is taking care of things,” she answered simply, still not looking at him.
“Taking care of things?” Adam asked. “What’s there to take care of?” He watched her, the way she wasn’t looking at him. “Actually forget that. I don’t care what needs to be taken care of, I want to know what I can do to help you. Just you.” He hesitated himself, having his own issues, but he knew what Becka usually needed and he swallowed his flinches and reached out for her touching her leg lightly. “What happened?”
Those weren’t questions that she could answer, not without telling him what had happened to her, and she just wasn’t going to do that. Telling Violet had been different; she was a nurse and an examination had to be done, therefore Violet had to know. But telling Adam? The guy that she’d tried to start up some kind of relationship with only a week before? No, she just couldn’t do that. The reaction to his reaching out and touching her was instinctual, and she hated herself for it. She flinched noticeably, pushing further away from him, arms going tighter around her leg as she looked at him with wide, panicked eyes. It took a few moments before she felt steady enough to even attempt speaking. “I...” She had to swallow down the lump in her throat before trying again. “Don’t... Sorry, I just...” And still, she couldn’t seem to formulate an actual sentence. Her eyes filled with moisture, and the leg that she wasn’t holding onto started to shake a little bit in a sign of her anxiety.
Adam knew that reaction though. He knew everything about it because he’d lived it. Pulling back he shook his head. “Don’t apologize. Not to me.” Because he was starting to guess about what happened, or what he really hoped hadn’t happened. “You’re okay. Promise. I’m not mad. Not even phased.” He held up his hands to show he was staying where he was, biting back a seething bit of rage that built in him. Someone had hurt her. “Do you need anything else?” he asked instead, thinking more from what he would have wanted to hear.
Adam’s words did nothing to ease the guilt or chase away the tears in her eyes, though it was more because Becka knew it wasn’t because of what he’d said. It was because she knew that he would understand, at least to a point, that she didn’t have to come out and say what had happened to her, and she hated that. She didn’t want him to know; she didn’t want anyone to know. She wanted it to have never happened at all. She shook her head a bit when a tear slid from the corner of one eye, lifting her hand to wipe it away. “No,” she answered, but she looked at him like there was something. It wasn’t long before it came blurting out, “Please don’t tell anyone! I just... I can’t deal with it right now.” As she finished, her voice had gone terribly soft, and she’d looked away, ashamed of herself for it.
He shook his head. “I’m not going to tell anyone. But you should. You have told someone right? You went to Cal?” He was right. He didn’t want to be right, but he was pretty sure he was right. “It’s going to take time to deal. I’m still...dealing.” He hated it for Becka, hated that of all people it had to happen to her. And then he remember the part about her being a virgin and he almost lost his composure. Whoever had touched her? Deserved the worst of fates. “When you’re ready to deal though, I’m here for you.”
She shook her head then. “Not Cal. He wasn’t there. I... Violet did the... She... yeah. And I told Wu, and he’s trying to find out whatever he can.” She still didn’t want to know just how he was trying to get information. A soft laugh that held absolutely no humor sounded, and she had to wipe her cheeks again, this time using her sleeve. “Yeah, I know.” She didn’t expect to be able to deal with it all in one day. Hell, she was still wallowing about it, and she didn’t really think anyone could tell her that was wrong after what had happened, not without having gone through it themselves. “Thank you,” she whispered with a tight smile. Would she go to him? Probably not. Why would she put all that on him when he was dealing with his own very difficult issues. It wouldn’t be right.
“That’s fine. Just so long as you saw someone. You weren’t...hurt more than... were you?” That seemed important to know. And he wanted to know what Wu knew. He wanted to help. Getting up, he took a blanket from the bed and handed to her, still keeping his distance. “Don’t thank me, just remember. I know...Carmel too...if you’d rather a woman. But we know.”
Becka frowned at the question, not really following what he was trying to get at. More? Wasn’t what had happened bad enough? She thought of the bruises on her wrists, at her temple, at the way her sleeves and hair hid them, and wondered if that was what he meant. “More... More like what?” she asked, voice barely a whisper. She felt a bit sick at even asking. She didn’t want to talk about it. Reaching out, she took the offered blanket, wrapping it around her shoulders and bundling it in front of her, holding onto it as if it were some kind of shield.
Carmel. So, that erased any idea that he might not have figured out just what had happened. She winced, though she did try to hide it, tilting her face down toward the blanket. How could she go to Carmel about this, though? How, when she’d been too scared to even try to get a look at her attacker yet Carmel had taken hers to trial and then taken justice into her own hands when the system had failed her? She swallowed, licked her lips, and shook her head. “I don’t know... I, but yeah, I’ll remember,” she finally said.
“Just...wondering. I got my hair yanked out once,” Adam admitted. “That’s all.” He watched her, hating seeing her like this. She was usually so full of life and here she was looking like someone had ripped her soul out of her skin. He didn’t like that she was saying she didn’t know if she’d reach out, but he knew better than to press it right now. “Anything else you need, let me know okay?”
“Oh,” she whispered, looking at him sadly for a moment. She didn’t want to hear about the awful things that had happened to him, didn’t want to think about those things happening to him at all. Despite everything that had happened in the past week, she did still care about him. But then she realized that he had said something about it, and wasn’t that an improvement for him? She might not be ready to talk about what had happened to her, but that didn’t mean she didn’t know that it was important to talk about it. Still, he’d asked, and though it took her a few moments of silence, she finally lifted a hand to her temple, pushing her hair back to show the bruise there. “He... punched me,” she admitted. “Twice.” That, at least, was easier to say than the rape part of it. “Yeah, I’ll let you know,” she assured him.
He looked at the bruise, frowning as he saw it. “I’m sorry Becks.” He wanted to touch her, but he knew better than to do that. “Do that. Anything. Just bug me.”
She shook her head when he said he was sorry. Even though she understood what he meant, she just didn’t want to hear it right then. God, how different things were on this side of things. It made her feel like an idiot for the way she’d handled some situations before. “Okay,” she replied, trying for a smile. She wanted to tell him that she hadn’t slept since it happened, that she was afraid to sleep, but the confession remained firmly in her mind as she just looked at him.
He waited a moment before he spoke again. “I’m going to take Wu’s things. Do you want me to come back and check on you later?” He doubted he’d sleep tonight. That was almost a certainty.
“Umm,” Becka began at the question, biting her lower lip. Did she want him to? She wasn’t sure how it was possible, but she didn’t actually have an answer to that because she did, but she didn’t at the same time. What would it help for him to come back, though? “No,” she finally decided. “I’ll be fine,” she promised him, though she didn’t really know if she believed that. She wanted a long, hot shower, to get her things put away, and then to attempt sleeping.
He didn’t believe that she would be fine either, but he didn’t really fight her on it. That wouldn’t help either one of them. “Okay. Get some rest. You look like you need it.” He got up and gathered Wu’s things and the key from Becka’s old room.
“I will,” she promised, getting her old key out of her pocket and holding it out for him after he’d gathered Wu’s things. Would she be able to sleep? God, she hoped so. She stayed where she was, though, even after he’d left. She felt lost, and any familiarity she’d gained in this place was gone now, by what had happened to her and the resulting necessary act of changing rooms.