Can I Stay? Characters: Wren and Charlie Setting: Charlie's room, evening
After Wren gave Jackson his tour, she attempted to decide where she was headed next, though really she didn't have to spend much time thinking on it. She found herself in front of Charlie's door in short order, and after a few long moments, she knocked on it, noticing at the last moment that she still had paper chains around her neck and shoulders.
The faint strains of music came to an end at the knock and after a moment or two, Charlie opened the door. He looked a little surprised to see her. Pleasantly surprised. "Wren - erm, come in?" he suggested, backing up and leaving the way free for her to enter.
She smiled at him and walked in. "If it is not too much of an imposition, may I stay here tonight?" she asked, figuring she'd get that part out of the way first. If he said no, she would ask Adam. If Adam was busy, she'd likely sleep in the spiritual room again, but she already needed to talk with Chester, so she was thinking this was the best route. She was nothing if not direct. "I was about to go back to my room, when a new person arrived, and I opted to give them a little bit of a tour. However, now it's late, and the elevators are inaccessible."
Charlie blinked, clearly not expecting that. "Yes! Sure - sure, of course you can!" he said, hurrying himself out of his momentary shock and looking round the room as if to check it was tidy. It was - Charlie had never much been one for clutter. Moving around did that to a guy.
Wren smiled, looking ever so slightly relieved, and she reached out to shut the door. "Thank you. I appreciate it." she said, taking the paper chains off of her neck to set down out of the way. "I didn't mean to interrupt you...were you playing?" she asked.
"Just killing time, mostly. I was going to go out later to see what they're doing - with all the areas cut off and the like. It sucks that you can't get back to your room again," he offered, before frowning. "Why do you have paper chains round your neck?" he asked. He had been surprised by her appearance in his room at first, which had thrown him off. He hadn't noticed the rest.
She shrugged at the part about not getting back to her room. It didn't hold any real significance for her. "I don't mind not being in my room." she said first. Then she smiled, as she took a seat on the couch, curling her feet up beneath her as she propped one elbow on the armrest, cheek against her hand. "Because at some point, I am to be a princess in need of rescuing." she told him, amusement clear in her voice and on her face.
"A princess in need of rescuing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Rescuing from whom? And... By who?" he asked, ignoring the small voice that said that he could be the one to rescue her. That he'd love to be the one to rescue her.
Wren gave a little laugh, something pretty close to a giggle, even. "Rescuing from a dragon, and by Adam, should Kyle talk him into wearing armor he fashions out of...whatever might be around." she said. "Adam claimed to be a dragon slayer on the two truths and a lie day. Then with the job listings, he said he was disappointed that dragon slayer wasn't on the list. Then Kyle made him a campaign poster...it sort of dissolved into silliness from there."
Charlie smiled at that. He may not like Adam, and sure, there was a part of him that bristled at the idea that Adam got to be her hero, but that was overruled by watching Wren involve herself in something silly. Childness. Normal. That was good to see. Great to see. Whatever the reasons. "So - you're making paper chains? You going to manacle yourself to something?"
She actually beamed just a moment at that, nodding. "The roof of the tool shed is so far the idea for the tower." she told him. "So, I'll have to have a lot of paper chains. I thought I would get started on it early. That and I have to start searching for things for the dragon's hoard. Do you remember the little dragon trinket box I had?" she asked, lighting up a touch at the idea that he may remember it from her home. Some shared bit of history. "It was part of what was here for me when I arrived. I'm going to get little bits and bobs to put in there for him. Sure, the dragon may not be intimidating, but it's still a dragon, right? And dragons have hoards."
The smile turned to real amusement then. “You’re sure taking this seriously,” he observed, tilting his head to the side a little to contemplate her as he said that.
"Am I taking it too seriously?" she asked, sitting up a little straighter. "Perhaps I got a little carried away, and it isn't really going to happen at all..." she said, suddenly wondering if that was the case. It was over the computers, so it was possible she'd been misreading, and it had all been in good fun but not something that would find it's way to fruition.
Charlie shook his head, curls swaying as he did so. He hurriedly said, “No - no, I don’t think you’re taking it too seriously. I think that if you want to do this, then you should. You’re clearly having fun with it.” And as far as he was concerned, her life had been severely lacking in fun. Time that changed.
She relaxed back again at that, and smiled. "Alright." she answered. "It should be fun. And lately, it's seemed like things are...rather dismal." She sighed. "Leandro's been removed. Kyle messaged me to tell me. And the new person is already taking his room."
“Shit - another person gone? Why?” Charlie asked. It hit home that Leandro had been a person who was willing to stand up and be counted - regardless of what he had to say. Charlie really hoped that the Administration or whoever the hell was running this place wasn’t picking off the people who turned out not to be sheep. He doubted he’d last long if that were the case.
"Kyle copied a message the administration sent, they said he was moved to another facility they deemed 'more suitable', and he wouldn't be back." Wren told him. "I don't really know how to feel about it. He became the first friend I made all on my own. But things...they got so complicated so very quickly. I'm still not entirely certain how."
“More suitable? What the hell does that mean?” Charlie asked. Not that he expected Wren to have any kind of answer, but still, the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t like this situation. “What the hell is that about anyhow - just up and disappearing people in the middle of the night. Are they trying to send a fucking message to us that we have no control? Not really? For all they’ve announced these stupid fucking jobs, it’s all just an illusion, isn’t it? Give with one hand, take away with the other, leave us scrambling in the middle trying to keep up? It’s bullshit!” he exclaimed, all traces of amusement gone in a flash.
Wren fell silent, watching Charlie work himself up. He was certainly swearing a lot. In the end, she didn't know what to say. Or, more, she did know what she wanted to say but she knew it wouldn't be taken well. And since he snapped from one thing to this now, she wasn't certain she wanted to say anything that would make it worse. Or redirect his anger. She'd brought it up because she was unsure how to react to the loss of a friend, not to spark up an argument about removal in the facility in the first place.
It was her silence which brought his rant to an end and he sat back, looking at her. For a moment or two, he looked like he would start up again. Then he just looked pissed. Then he shook his head. “Sorry - it’s just. It’s bullshit,” he muttered.
Still not quite sure what to say, she nodded, but still kept her thoughts to herself. She was watching him, however. She never averted her gaze. Things that made her sad were occurring to her, and she was sure she didn't want to share those thoughts either. That didn't stop them from swimming up into her thoughts, however.
Charlie moved to sit down on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees as he also fell quiet. Clearly his outburst had made her uncomfortable, so he would try and keep that to himself for now. Things worked better when he kept them to himself.
She gave him another minute, then finally spoke. When she did, her voice was softer than it had been. "You sound very angry." she told him. "I--this is something that I've never seen from you. Not properly. Can you talk to me about it?" she asked. "I feel like it's one of those things that keeps me from actually knowing you. Listening to you there, I realized that there's still so much that I don't have a concept of when it comes to you. I would like to remedy that. I don't want there to be pieces of you I don't know."
Charlie looked across at her, and for a long moment, he didn’t reply. It was clear that he was considering not telling her anything at all. Eventually, though, he spoke. “They’re like puppet masters, and we’re the puppets,” he said.
"'They' specifically here? Or 'they' everyone in authority?" she asked, honestly wanting to know. She'd read his post. It was part of why she'd wanted to talk to him in the first place, but she would get to the 'why do I not count and why would you put me forth for governor' could come later. This was taking priority.
“Power corrupts,” he told her, simply. “Look at it all. Look at what Brian did. And he’s not the only one. I’ve seen loads of ‘Brian’s - they look different, they spin things in different ways, but they’re all the same when it gets right down to it. And it’s not just in that type of environment. Anywhere where people have power over others, sooner or later it will be abused.”
"How would you prefer things?" she asked, feeling like even if she had things to say, she wanted to wait until she understood his entire point of view--or as much of it as she could. So, that involved questions, not comments. Plus, she felt it was a very important question. That, despite the fact what she took away from his statement wasn't that he didn't really trust authority--he didn't trust people. He just directed it toward authority.
He shook his head. “And that’s where I wish I had the answer.” Charlie was not a guy who did well not knowing the answers. Yet for this, he didn’t know. He had seen different ways of organising things, different methods. Yet at the heart of it all, human nature ruled. And human nature was not always a pretty sight. It was what got him so frustrated, and frustration led to anger.
That was sad. That he was so very angry with how things were, but had no suggestion of how to remedy the situation. "Is there anything that makes you feel better about things?" she asked.
Charlie shrugged. “Trying to help?” he suggested. “I know I can’t fix things. I know I can’t come up with some magic way where it’ll all be okay - but if I can do something. If I can actually get in there - then I can help make things even a bit better. Sometimes it feels like I’m swimming upstream, but I’d rather do that than just give up and go with the flow. Except, here. Now. There’s so much less that I can actually do. Because no matter what, the reality is that one morning may come and it’s game over.”
"Why am I not included in your distrust of people?" she asked. "What makes me different?" She wanted to keep it simple, and she thought she was piecing together his mentality, which made her feel closer to him, though she was still trying to work out exactly what his views were. But knowing what separated her would help.
He locked eyes with her then. “Because you’re not like anyone I’ve ever known,” he told her, simply, meaning every word.
Even if she sort of knew that, he'd even said things like it before, in that moment it seemed to hold so much more weight. Probably due to the anger he'd expressed earlier, that display along with the conviction he had in his voice now, it was a heavier chord to strike in her. "What do you see in me you don't in others? Or, what do I lack?" she asked, though her voice was ever so slightly quieter than a moment before, and she sat forward just the slightest bit.
He leaned forward as well, mirroring her from across the room, seemingly without being aware of it. “I watched you for years. The position you were in, the role they gave you, you had so much influence. Never once did I see you use that to your advantage. Never. I doubt it even occurred to you. Just like I doubt you realise how special that makes you, Little Bird. One in a million. Maybe more. You’re truly selfless. A truly good person,” he told her, also lowering his voice slightly, unconsciously, to match her tone.
He was right, it hadn't occurred to her. Like she'd been a surprised at the implication that she would tell anyone anything different than what she truly read in the cards. She didn't see it as her place. If people needed guidance, then lying to them wasn't going to help. So, He had her pegged on that. "Isn't there anyone else you would trust?" she asked, again, voice getting ever so slightly quieter.
“Not even myself,” he told her, again lowering his voice to match her tone.
That had her feeling an ache in her chest. The sheer loneliness that single statement had her wondering just how hard things had been for him after things had gone so very wrong at the Order. She didn't even connect it with herself so much as the idea of her. The idea of someone he would actually trust. Especially with the force of his anger over everything else, that to her said it had to be staggering, the scope of it. Maybe he didn't have to deal with authority figures all the time, maybe it didn't impact his daily life, but still. "I hope I never disappoint you." she near-whispered.
He smiled a little at that. “You never have so far,” he told her. Of course, he hadn’t always agreed with her, but to him, that was different. Sure, he often thought that if she would just agree with him then she would be better off, but he knew that wasn’t actually going to happen. And whilst he would like to just be able to wrap her up and look after her for the rest of her life, he knew that she was her own person and realistically, nothing was going to change that. He wasn’t disappointed with her as a person when she disagreed with him. It didn’t take away from what he thought about her, or what he felt for her. And it certainly didn’t make her any less of the exception.
She smiled at him in return, a soft expression. "I hope eventually there's more people in the world you can trust like that. It sounds...as lonely as I used to feel. Sometimes I still feel that lonely. You always helped me. Sometimes, things would get so overwhelming...and I'd think to myself 'I just have to wait long enough for Chester to get back'. And then you would come back. Then I felt like I could breathe again. Like it would be fine, I could do this. You always were so capable, in my eyes. Like you could handle anything. It made me feel like I had support. Just you being around allowed me to do...everything I had to."
“You did what you did for a long time before I turned up,” Charlie pointed out, but it was still nice to hear - that he’d done that for her. He had wanted to support her. He had wanted to be there for her. He had wanted her to have even just the one person in her life who didn’t look on her with awe and treat her like he was a demigod, but just was her friend and she could be herself. And that what she said made him happy was clear in his expression, his posture shifting slightly as it showed there as well.
"It's true, I was there and doing what I did for years before you arrived." Wren told him, nodding. "But no one ever asked me how I was doing that day. No one had conversations with me. Everyone just wanted something. You were the first person who didn't. And...after I had you around, after I found out that it was nice to just...talk. About nothing. After that, I just...it got hard to go back to being some...automaton. Some machine that just had to spit out answers at any time of any day about anything." Wren paused a moment. "Sometimes I have trouble feeling like a real person at all. But I never had trouble with that around you."
Charlie’s grin widened and for a moment he practically glowed until he reined that back in, not wanting to look like a total idiot. “I never liked the way they treated you,” he admitted. “And you needed a friend. And, well, being your friend was one of the easiest things I’ve ever done.” It was having to remind himself that she could only ever be just a friend that had been the difficult part.
"I did. And I appreciated you. I still do." Wren told him, wanting to make sure it was out there that she wasn't only talking about the past, here. She was sad that he had been convicted of a crime, but on a purely selfish level she was glad he was there. She tried to think of a way to say that, that she could express it all properly, but she wasn't sure there was one.
“You do?” Charlie questioned, sounding like, despite things, he needed some reassurance on that level. “There was a point where I thought you’d never want to speak to me again.”
Wren actually laughed just a touch at that, smiling at him wider. "I don't think that ever occurred to me." she said. "I was definitely very hurt, but...I don't think that's in me. Especially not with you." she told him. Then she paused, frowning ever so slightly. "Actually, I know it. When I thought you were going to be out of my life, I...everything went all...wrong." she told him, still not sure how to describe the episode it brought on. "But, to answer your question, yes. I do. I feel better when you're around. Even now. And this place...I'm scared for you in this environment, but I think you could do a lot of good here, too."
Charlie narrowed his eyes and mock-squinted at her. “I’m fairly sure that’s my line to you,” he admonished lightly. He didn’t say what part. The last, definitely. But more than that as well. Most of it, in fact.
Wren quirked an amused little smile, and had to ask. "Which line is that?" she asked.
“That last part,” he told her. He paused, making a show of considering it. “...Maybe some other bits as well.”
Laughing, amused, she grinned at him. "So you're leaving it at that? Keeping me in the dark, Chester?" she asked. "I feel this is unfair." she told him, crossing her arms over her chest and giving him a mock stern look. Her good mood clearly hadn't totally evaporated, even with their detour.
“I think I’ve been quite clear in the fact that I believe that life isn’t fair,” he pointed out, teasing her right back.
"Please tell me?" she asked, smiling at him as she sat up fully, primly clasping her hands on her lap. "You know I'm a Princess." she added playfully, as if this would sway his decision.
He arched an eyebrow. “Apparently so. Of course, you’ve chosen someone else to be your white knight, so...” he teased, using the joke to hide how he actually felt about that. He knew it wasn’t all meant to be like that, but he couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by that.
She laughed. "Well, he did step up as a dragon slayer." she told him. "If you want to try your hand at princess rescuing, then you'll just have to come up with something." she told him, trying to put on a lofty tone, though it was all ruined by the amusement in her eyes. The big smile didn't help either.
“So, you’re telling me that Adam has volunteered to play dragon slayer in front of everyone else around?” Charlie asked, sounding very doubtful about that. Somehow the other guy hadn’t given off that whole exhibitionist, actor type vibe.
"I wouldn't quite say 'volunteered'..." Wren said, laughing. "More like Kyle is going to convince him. Which should be quite easy for him." she said. "So, it's possible he'll be a very reluctant savior. Or I'll be eaten by a dragon."
“Kyle’s a convincing type of person then?” Charlie asked. He had seen the guy around, and posting on the journals, but he’d never sat down and had a conversation with him or anything.
"No, it's because Adam, whether or not he's happy to accept it, has feelings for him." Wren said, smiling. "That and I'm positive that he could, in fact, be convincing. I think it'll be good for him. He and Leandro had something going on. I'm not sure of the extent, but something."
“Feelings, like feelings feelings?” Charlie asked, blinking a bit at that. If that were the case... It put everything in a whole new light. “Oh. Well. Didn’t see that one coming,” he admitted.
"He sort of sputtered when I suggested it, but he was talking about Kyle like people do when they have feelings for someone. I'm fairly certain that he's not quite to a place where he accepts it. I am hopeful that eventually he will be." Wren explained, since she did hope for that. Really, she kind of hoped for Kyle and Adam to find their way to being together at some point, but she was sure that was inappropriate to say aloud just yet.
“Well, yeah - if that’s the case then all power to him,” Charlie said, without hesitation. He felt a little bit guilty about his eagerness to be supportive there, given that just maybe it might have just a little to do with the fact that if five minutes ago someone had asked him who he thought Adam had a thing for, he would have said that it would be Wren herself. And just maybe Charlie liked the idea of Adam’s attention being directed elsewhere.
"I hope he can find happiness. I think he deserves it. I know you two don't get along very well, but he's a good person. I think just most people don't even a little but understand the mentality of a cultist...which is likely a good thing. It's a plus he doesn't get it, I suppose. It means he isn't so easily led astray." Wren said. "Or blind, like all of us were. Like I was."
“I’m not gonna say someone doesn’t deserve happiness, just because I don’t get on with them,” Charlie said, deciding not to go back into the subject of exactly why he had such a problem with Adam. He didn’t want to delve back into that can of worms, and his venting wouldn’t make her feel any better.
"Oh, I know." Wren said, not having imagined Chester being so cruel as to not want something better for someone just because they didn't get along. "I'm just giving my observations. I know you're a better person than that." she assured him. She drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "You distracted me from our earlier conversation." she pointed out. But she didn't sound like she minded.
“And you distracted me. Maybe that’s for the best, all things considered. But, we can go back to it, if you want,” he told her. “Just - one last thing. I take it, this whole Adam-and-Kyle thing - that’s not something I should really bring up with Adam? From what you’ve said, it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing he’d be happy with you having told me.”
"I would leave it out of any conversation you might have with him. Sometimes people have trouble working things out like that, and I believe he is going to. Pushing it may just mean he takes even longer coming to grips with it." Wren said, nodding. "And I suppose I hadn't really thought about that..." she frowned slightly. "Clearly, I still view you as someone I can speak freely with." And she’d not had friends before who may be upset with her over sharing things. It was different. “Have I done something wrong?” she asked, wanting his assessment.
Charlie picked his words carefully. “Not wrong, so much, no. Because, you’re right - I’m someone you can speak freely with. And anything you tell me is going to stay with me. I’m not going to be sharing your secrets with anyone else. But... It might have caused issues for Adam if I had been anyone else. Including Kyle. If he’s having troubles with his sexuality the way that you seem to be suggesting, then that’s a really personal thing. And it’s really nobody’s business but Adam’s until he decides to make it other people’s business, or until he’s ready to deal with it. And - I know what it was like back on the farm, but it’s different in most of the world. There are people - often lots of people - who have very real issues with same sex relationships. I don’t know if there’s anyone like that here at the moment, but if you spread ideas about Adam about, then you could cause troubles for him, on top of him having to figure out where he stands himself.”
She listened very carefully to everything, nodding ever so slightly as he spoke and she understood what he was getting at. "People seem to have an issue with a lot of things. They also seem to have issues with relationships between more than two people." she said, sighing. She propped her head on her hand again. "It wouldn't occur to me to speak so freely with other people." she told him. "I understand not everything is good to share, and that some people you can't share anything at all. I just...obviously still see you as someone who I don't attempt any edits with. But I should be more careful."
“People have issues with a lot of things,” Charlie agreed, glad that she got what he was talking about. It was another one of those things - he didn’t like Adam, but he didn’t wish him badly either. Hell, as a friend of Wren’s, if it came down to it, he would probably step up to defend the guy. “Just be aware of who you’re talking to. But, I got you. Like always.”
"I will." she promised. "Thank you for pointing it out to me, either way." she added. "I care about him, I wouldn't want to do anything that hurt him, in any way." She shifted down on the couch a little, curling up more against the arm of the couch. "Are you really going to vote for me for governor?" she asked, changing the subject. "I would appreciate if you would direct your support elsewhere. I'd rather be an advisor. I believe I would get eaten should I be put in actual charge."
“I would have voted for you - until you told me not to. Now... I’ll put my support to whatever you want to do. If you’d rather be an advisor, then I’ll help you get there. I’d feel better about the running of this place if you were involved in some capacity, even if you don’t want the top job.”
Wren smiled at him, though there was an amused bit of a glint in her eyes. "I didn't tell you not to. I said I would appreciate it if you didn't." she corrected. "I don't tell anyone what to do." She frowned faintly. "Even when they want me to." she added, since she got that a hell of a lot with readings. But it cleared soon after. "I believe the top job is for someone that other people can believe in. I think hardened criminals would look at me and wonder which flowery path I wandered off of. I think no one would trust their safety in my hands. It's important to have a leader that people can look at and opt to trust. People trusted Brian because he was a capable person. He exuded confidence. He stood tall, knew when to smile, and had a strong voice. I wouldn't command the respect I needed to to properly run this group of people. My best use is a whisper in the ear of someone who has those other qualities."
Charlie rolled his eyes. “Brian knew how to act, nothing more. He put on a good show to people who weren’t looking too hard,” he said, with disdain. He didn’t include Wren in that assessment - she had been a child when she’d entered the cult, and raised to not know any better. He did, however, include her mother as being one of the sheep. Then again, whilst they had never discussed it, Charlie held Wren’s mother in a certain amount of contempt.
"The act is important, however." Wren told him, she did know a lot about how things worked. She was an intelligent person, who had picked up a whole hell of a lot, even with her rather strange background. "The show is important. I know you don't like it, but I understand it. I know that, in here, regardless of what I would bring to the table, no one would take me seriously. It's because I don't look or sound the part. They need someone in here that they think can take care of business. And, in some respects, I know I would be unable to. As I said before, I don't hold the capacity for violence. I didn't even see the attack on me coming, when I'm certain it was likely obvious." She gazed at him, a light smile on her features. "I think you're the only one who could look at me and think me capable of running anything. Everyone else would see a liability. It's all perspective. You knew Brian for what he was, but to his followers, he was The One. A direct contact to what they considered the divine. It's all about presentation. About what people perceive. In here, we're dealing with an already jaded point of view, and in a very harsh slant. So...it really would be just you."
“And you also thought that nobody else would come to your defence. Until you needed it and people were falling over themselves to do so,” Charlie reminded her with a knowing smile. “You never see what you really are, do you? Not the way I do. You inspire people, Little Bird. Just by being you, you can bring out the best in them. And maybe that’s what’s needed, here. Someone who isn’t going to fight fire with fire. Someone who can help people to see that there’s another way. Because, yes, people saw Brian as the one - but it was you that they thought had the contact to the divine. You were part and parcel of his presentation, of his act. Only, for you, it wasn’t a pretence, and you weren’t putting on a show to try and get people to act a certain way. You just were. And you still did it all right.”
She smiled at him, a light, sweet expression. She liked his idealism. It was something she could appreciate, even if she knew better. "I did underestimate in some manner, yes." she agreed. Though she wouldn't word it the way he had. "And while I agree they may need someone different, they don't know that. They won't see that. Which is why I opted for the route I did take." she explained. "This way, they can still have someone they believe in, but I will have influence to make sure that things don't go too far off the rails in the other direction. It'll be a balance, if I can help it. In this, I think I will find acceptance, both from others--because they will believe I pose no threat--and I've spoken with Wu, who I believe will gain the favored vote. I think he would listen to what I had to say, let it influence his own decisions."
Charlie gave her a wide eyed look. “Wu? Scary mafia guy Wu?” he asked, aghast. “You think that’s who we’re going to have in charge?” He paused, then added in a barely audible mutter, “I think I’d rather have Brian.”
"I think he represents stability for people. When I spoke to him, we reached something of an understanding." She paused, lifting her head up a little. "You would rather have Brian over Wu? The devil you know?"
“You spoke to him? Wren - do you really think that you can keep someone like Wu on the straight and narrow, if you give him a position of power and take a lesser one for himself? Have you seen what guys like him do to ensure ‘stability’ - they rule by fear. Make it so that people are too terrified to put a foot out of line! And he would be the one setting the direction of that line!” Charlie exclaimed.
"He spoke to me earlier on, first. I had been carrying a hammer and pry bar toward my room, so I could alter the numbers there. I was in room fifteen, The Devil, so I needed to change that. He offered to switch rooms with me, should it bother me too much." she told him. "Then the other day, he was sitting by himself, drinking, and he looked sad. So I went to speak to him again, see how he was. We spoke about the anarchy here. About the blatant mistrust going on, about the way things are. We talked about power structure here. It was the conversation with him that gave me the idea for the advisor position in the first place. I know my place, and it's behind someone in charge, not in that spotlight." she explained.
Pushing herself to her feet, she walked over to him, standing in front of him and looking down. "Have you spoken to him?"
“Not in person, no. I offered to meet with him to discuss things, but heard nothing back - apart from the comment he left on my journal, basically telling me that I was bound for disaster. At least, that was what I took from it,” he told her. He didn’t add anything about the fact that the idea of her meeting with a man such as Wu sent a shiver down his spine.
"I have." she told him. "And I understand the implications of everything. I also do actually believe I can be a tempering force. The real question is if you believe in me enough. If you can trust me." she said, reaching her hands out toward him. "I'm aware it's a lot to ask--and I could always be wrong. He could not be voted in. It could be someone else entirely. I could be shot down for the position of an advisor. I still think we need a third voice involved as well. But either way, I know my impression. And my impression is I think it'll be a fine line, yes. But I'm willing to try that as opposed to standing idly by and watching someone get put into power without my influence at all. You said acting made you feel better. I'm taking action."
I’m scared for you. He wasn’t going to voice that, but it was there. “Promise me that you’ll involve me. Even if it’s not officially. Even if it’s just like this - us talking. You telling me things because you don’t need to watch yourself around me. Because you know you can trust me. You need an outlet, Little Bird. If you’re going to do this. Let me be that for you,” he told her, standing and taking her hands. He realised then, in that moment, that he had given up on any idea that it might actually be him that was voted in to lead this place. It wasn’t going to be him. Right now, he figured he’d end up on the farm. They had been the only two people put forward to run it, after all. And she was putting herself forward for something else. That left him. It wouldn’t be what he would have chosen for himself, but if that was what the larger population gave him, then he would do it.
"We've already established that I can't not talk to you." Wren told him, giving him a light smile. She gave his hands a squeeze. She made sure she she was looking him in the eyes, made the serious eye contact and held it. "You have my word that I will talk to you." she said officially, just in case he needed it said that blatantly. "I'll need you."
“You’ll have me. Every step of the way. Even if it’s the middle of the night,” he told her, looking down at her. “I can’t promise that I’ll always agree with you. But I will promise that I’ll always give you my opinion, and that I’ll listen to yours.” That, he felt like he needed to blatantly say as well.
"That's all I ask. Your opinion." she said. Because really, that was what she would need. His insight, another point of view beyond her own or Wu's, if he was chosen. She was a big believer in multiple voices involved in anything--she'd seen one voice and it had wound up with a lot of people dead. She would not repeat the same mistake, even peripherally. She squeezed his hands again, just in that moment recognizing how close they were.
Charlie didn’t say anything as he silence stretched out between them. Her hands were soft and warm in his and he didn’t want this moment to end. “...I’ve missed you,” he said, eventually, his voice soft yet sincere.
She smiled, eyes ticking between his. "I missed you too." she said, voice altering to match his. She was aware she should step back now, and a familiar itch in the back of her mind rose up, regardless of whether or not it was valid. It blindsided her in a way. It was how she'd always felt when he left her home, later in the evening. Like she didn't want him to leave, but there was a wash of heavy guilt that came with that feeling. It was such a conflicting thing that she never quite did figure out why it happened at all. Brian wasn't here. Hell, he wasn't even her real husband. There was no claim there whatsoever.
Charlie swallowed, his throat feeling suddenly dry. It was a habit, screaming in the back of his head. Three years of habit saying that they were long past the time that he needed to step away. Make that decision for them, though he had never truly known how she felt about him. He had never even raised the subject. Regardless of what he thought about her supposed farce of a marriage, he’d had a job to do and he lacked a death wish. He’d never pursued her. He had been her friend. Her only friend. Even though he had always wanted more.
And now, he fought with himself for a moment. Habit won out. He dropped her hands and awkwardly reached up to bury his fingers in the back of his hair, to stop him reaching for her again.
There was a rush of disappointment from her, though she again wasn't quite sure where it came from. From that attachment she had to him? Was this the same thing that made her have a breakdown at the idea that he was going to be gone? She didn't know. She lingered where she was, just for a moment, before she took her cue and stepped back, turning to head back toward the couch. She should say something, but she had no idea what.
He turned away when she did, pulling his hands forward over his head and down over his face, breathing into his palms to try and focus himself. “Erm, I’m... I... I was going to go have a shower. Before bed. I’ll - I don’t mind sleeping on the couch tonight. You can take the bed,” he told her, turning himself back round to face her as he talked. He figured it might have been possible for him to sound more awkward, but right now, he was blanking on exactly how.
She looked back over her shoulder, and wondered if he would rather she leave. He seemed so awkward now, and she didn't want him to be uncomfortable. "I can go," she started, figuring she needed to at least make the offer.
“What? No - no! You don’t need to go!” he told her, quickly. God - had he come across that badly. Had she read him that wrong? “I just... I... Yeah,” he finished, lamely.
"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in your own room." Wren told him. "It's fine." she added. "There wouldn't be hard feelings or anything," she promised. "I just...clearly you're uncomfortable." She didn't know how else to word it.
“Wren...” he started, then didn’t know how to continue. He took a step forward, then hesitated. “I... It’s not like that. I just...” He shook his head and laughed a little. This was stupid. He was stupid. “I just think it would be kind of inappropriate for us to sleep in the same bed. So, I’ll take the couch,” he told her, trying harder to sound like the sensible adult that he was, rather than the teenaged boy he so often had ended up pretending to be.
Oh... She felt a pang of something, though she didn't know what. "Oh. I...well, you don't have to be nervous about that. And I was going to take the couch. When I sleep in Adam's room, I take the couch, when he's slept in mine, he...well, he doesn't actually sleep on the couch, he sleeps on the floor, but still." she said. "Guests sleep on the couch."
He shook his head. “Not in my room. In my room, the Princess gets the bed. I even promise not to put a pea under the mattress.” There, he was feeling more like himself again. Awkward moment over. It helped that she’d clarified that she’d never envisioned them sleeping together - which he knew he had no right to be disappointed about. Of course she hadn’t. She wasn’t that kind of a girl. It would never have occurred.
She still didn't look overly convinced, but in the end decided that maybe it was best if he went to take his shower, and they got past this awkwardness. She could get her head straight again, stop feeling strange and it could be done with. "Alright." she agreed.
“Okay,” Charlie said, heading into the bathroom and closing the door behind him. He took his time with the shower, giving him the opportunity to get his head on straight. And also convince himself that wandering back out into the bedroom clad only in a towel having not dried off properly was corny and inappropriate and really only worked in the movies anyhow and no, he was not going there. In the end, he got dressed again and toweled off his hair before going back out to join her.
Wren hadn't known what to do with herself. In the end she'd got her shoes off, set the paper chains on top of them, and she curled up on the couch, letting herself doze. The sound of the shower lulled her, so she was actually lightly asleep by the time he came back out.
Charlie stopped, about to say something when he realised that she was asleep. Moving over to her, he crouched down next to the couch for a moment to see if she was going to wake up. It was clear, though, that she was out and whilst he had been honest in his offer to take the couch, he wasn’t going to wake her up just so she could move. Instead, he stood, moving to lay a blanket over her and tuck it in. Then, moving quietly so as not to wake her, he changed for bed and turned in himself.