InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Excuse me. I'm going to hell."

eh. (lioness) wrote in rpvents,
@ 2022-05-06 09:44:00

Yep
We’ve made friends, lost friends. We’ve had fun, we’ve had not-so-much fun. Isn’t RPing the worst, best hobby ever?

I’ve been through bullies. I’ve been through narcissists… but you know what hurts the most?

The Fake Friends.

“Friends” who only want you for their own purposes, their own storylines. Friends who pretend they’re your friend. Mostly, these types just want smut, but not all of them. Fake friends who ghost you, unless your character does what they want. Unless YOU do what THEY want. Did they make you feel uncomfortable? Better never tell them. They can’t handle anything but their own drama. Because they were never your friend to begin with.

But also, these “friends” are great at pumping sunshine up your ass about how you’re friends ‘beyond just rp’. You even begin to believe it, since you’ve played together for what, a few years? Been through highs and lows? Mainly, THEIR highs and lows that YOU helped them through. But the minute you have a low? They’re gone. Now, I still do have friends from decades ago who I met through RP, but apparently, only the real ones stick around.

Real friends talk out their issues no matter how uncomfortable those issues are.

Fake friends do not discuss issues. They delete you, ghost you, don’t talk about shit. That means anybody who has ever ghosted you in RP, who pretended to be your friend here, who did not discuss how you made them feel, or how they made you feel - they were fake. They were not your friend.

They were your fair-weather friend. Just as bad as the bullies and the narcissists.

Stay gone, fair-weather friend. For shame.

(Post a new comment)

	paradoxial 2022-05-07 03:06 am UTC (link)
	Yes, and unfortunately, there's gonna 10x more fake friends than real friends. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lioness 2022-05-09 04:46 pm UTC (link)
	Of course. And we've all had to learn that the hard way. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	samewaytoo 2022-05-08 12:16 am UTC (link)
	I feel this in my bones. Thank you for the reminder. On to better things! (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lioness 2022-05-09 04:47 pm UTC (link)
	Better and brighter and much more in-depth, because the real ones always stick around. ;) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	bellewether 2022-05-09 12:38 am UTC (link)
	i really needed to hear this today. the abandonment at the first sign of strife hurt so damn much. especially from people i thought were my friends. it actually helps to know i'm not alone in it. thank you. (Reply to this) (Thread)

lioness
2022-05-09 04:49 pm UTC (link)

You're def not alone. This has happened to me a few times now, especially after asserting my comfort boundaries. People do not like when boundaries are made for our comfort, because they were benefitting from us not having those boundaries. So of course they bounce.

With some people I really, really was led to believe they were my friends. I've learned it's a shame on them. Finally.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

lostdoll
2022-05-09 01:41 am UTC (link)

it's hurtful to realize that the friendship you may have cherished for years wasn't that at all for that person and they sell you out at the first hint of you not doing what they want you to do. to tell stories and stretch the truth to fit their narrative, but i've learned that, especially with this hobby, that when someone says they're you're friend you have to take it with a grain of salt and massive amounts of skepticism. everyone always has their own agenda and sometimes it takes it longer to come to light depending on the person.

i'm sorry you've had to deal with this as i don't think anyone should have to feel like this at all in a hobby that is supposed to be fun more than anything else.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	lioness 2022-05-09 04:51 pm UTC (link)
	Exactly. All of this. Sounds like you've had to deal with these fake bitches too, and for that I'm sorry you've had to. We do live in a society IRL and online, where ghosting is the answer. Too bad only a few of us are mature enough to work out our problems. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fuh_q 2022-05-09 10:24 am UTC (link)
	Sometimes I feel like I play out storylines the way they want them to go and change my characters to fit what they want to happen because at least that means we'll be writing together and they'll be happy. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	lioness 2022-05-09 04:52 pm UTC (link)
	EXACTLY. I have done this exact thing. I've adjusted my character(s) in some scenarios and lines (which, in some ways it wasn't precisely something they'd NEVER do, so I was like, why not?) in order to suit the person involved. And the MINUTE my character didn't do something they wanted, I was public enemy #1. (Reply to this) (Parent)

wormswart
2022-05-10 09:08 pm UTC (link)

A part of me thinks everyone has been so burned on this server that they’ve all acclimated to acting this cold because it’s easier. So long as they get their fix. Because they’ll sit and complain about the same issues and problems but then turn around and drop you for the faceless ip address that you are.

I’m glad I’ve found people who are willing to talk through things like adults. It took awhile, but they exist. They’re there. Don’t let the overwhelming batch of bad apples turn you away. You’re definitely not alone in this.

(Reply to this)

	consolation 2022-05-15 03:22 pm UTC (link)
	i couldn't have said this better myself as it recently just happened to me and what hurts the most for me is that i really hope they're okay :/ (Reply to this)

	questioning_me 2022-07-05 01:46 am UTC (link)
	And then there’s the ones who claim they want to be adults and want to talk things out and then they don’t communicate when you open the communication doors for them with a concern or want for conversation over something. 🤷 (Reply to this)