the ONTD! of rp's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
the ONTD! of rp

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[26 May 2023|03:18pm]

The discord server talks constantly about character interactions and future plots, yet the actual writing community never moves. Most of the time the friends list is dead, and the three scenes I've tried since starting have been completely dropped within a few comments. One of the people took a literal month to reply to me with a few lines, all the while daily talking plotting in the discord.

I'm only still 'in' the game because I keep forgetting it exists. It's such a shame, but everyone loves talking about plots and not actually writing any.
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[24 May 2023|10:55am]

discord rp looks intimidating as fuck.
10 comments|post comment

[22 May 2023|09:14pm]

if my brain could stop being like, "hey! i've got ideas and can totally write again!" one day, then the next go, "lmfao sike" for like a month, that would be great.
2 comments|post comment

[22 May 2023|01:40am]

It's so hard being an rper who doesn't understand coding that well. I just want things to be pretty but I always break the code.

I hate writing apps and having to redo that one because it was so good the first time.
4 comments|post comment

[21 May 2023|11:17am]

idk maybe it's because i manage and coach real people in the real world, maybe it's because i haven't been in a comm in years. maybe my standards are too high, maybe i'm asking way too much for ij. but this has been bothering me since i saw it.

if you are offering your space to a person asking for a home, and they explicitly say they wouldn't be welcome there, and your response is to just delete your comment entirely, without asking WHY they feel that way, you are a terrible mod. because either, you know why they wouldn't be welcome, or you just don't care, but either way, you are passively condoning whatever behaviour makes that person feel unwelcome.

fuck you, and fuck your game. it wasn't even my line request, but i am disgusted with what i saw, even if there's no proof of it now.
8 comments|post comment

[20 May 2023|09:16pm]

i think it's ironic that the most transmisognystic thing i've ever experienced on this server came from trans men (who've made the decision to write cis men bc cis writers treated them horribly) who decided to make a public spectacle of my characterization, inviting anyone and everyone to watch as they abusively tell me i'm a silly girl that doesn't know i'm harming myself for wanting to write a trans woman through every experience she may have, good or bad. i think it's ironic that, rather than simply ignoring what i had to say in character because it may trigger them in a hobby they use for escapism, they took it upon themselves to shit talk my parents, speak over me, tell me i'm performing for cishet people rather than just...writing, and making a mockery of "their" experience. kind of identical to transphobes. oh, and for shits and giggles, letting me know that they can't even be mad at someone like blaire white, a proud racist, bc "trans rights AND wrongs!!!" but i'm the one whose post is deleted from the ad community where they decided to jump me, and all this was to "protect me from me." crawl back into your hole of echoing misery and spare me the martyrdom.
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[20 May 2023|02:04pm]

To be not cliquey....y'all are really cliquey. 😂
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[17 May 2023|08:01pm]

How is it that you can't see that you're the common denominator in all of this? The rest of us have moved onto better things, if you took some personal responsibility then maybe you could do the same.
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[24 Apr 2023|06:51am]

The last time I checked, we are all adults. Commenting on my lines posts and then deleting the comment just so I get the email notification telling me to give it up and to stop trying isn't a good look for your and your minions. Don't you know you already won? You already ran me out of the games, you already drastically cut down my RP friends - all because you decided that I was boring now. You've turned two whole communities against me - why can't you let me try to salvage the ability to PSL and actually write in peace? I haven't reached out and I haven't tried to tell my side of the story - because I just want to be done with the whole thing. I gave up games, I gave up my favorite PBs, I gave up my whole twenty+ year habits in this hobby so I could cut ties from the toxicity.

Please just let me be? I just want to find a few lines. I just want to write. You got it all, you got the kingdom - I just want to exist. Will you please let me?
4 comments|post comment

[19 Apr 2023|09:40pm]
It has been a long time since I have felt the need to vent about RP but I feel compelled this evening.

Days ago I raised concerns with mods of a community about allowing 'cops' to be written in a slice of life setting. As a black woman who actually lost a cousin to police brutality, I had noticed happily that literally no one in [info]pbads had been choosing their character to be a police officer* any longer. It made me uncomfortable because there are no good cops. That sounds drastic, but when there's a system in place where even cops that do not do the things the worst cops do, they do not speak out. They do not quit. They do not raise concerns in the public or do anything to promote change within their profession. Therefore, there are no good cops.

In a slice of life setting where people aren't evil or bad guys, but maybe complicated with different histories, it is hard for me to see why this would be allowed. It is hard for me to understand why I would bring my concerns to a moderator and they would at least not respond to me. Instead they just ignored me and went on letting cops into the community.

Cops are abusers. They are murderers. The ones who don't kill minorities stand aside happily. I don't want to see scenarios where people write cops as 'good guys' in rp. I don't want to be in a community where abusers are allowed.

Perhaps this seems blurry to you all or not that serious, but games stopped letting people who PB Chris Brown in. Or Jared Leto. I even saw a Michael Fassbender rejected once due to his abusive history.

We should be discouraging people from writing cops, romanticizing them with their characters and such within communities. I DON'T CARE HOW YOU PRETTY IT UP WITH THEIR "WELL MEANING AGENDAS".

And even if you do not agree with me that mods should ask people to change their character's profession they should at least not ignore me when I raise my concerns, especially as an active member of the community.

I was actually excited about this game too.
8 comments|post comment

[19 Apr 2023|11:24am]

As much as I'm enjoying the game, the fact that someone has brought in a character using that PB makes me deeply uncomfortable, enough that I kinda wanna quit. It's maybe less about the face and more about the fact that I now know everyone in this game is okay with that person, and that makes me feel far more uncomfortable than having to see the face specifically.

(I'm not going to pm anyone the name of the game)
7 comments|post comment

[09 Apr 2023|09:26am]

I’m… annoyed? I spent a lot of time putting something together only for it not to happen. I was really looking forward to it, too. I feel like I wasted my time and it makes me feel bitter. I don’t want to feel bitter, because I wasn’t owed that time by anyone. It was an idea and they just don’t have time, I guess. Still doesn’t make me any less annoyed though.
1 comment|post comment

[09 Apr 2023|04:17am]

Why do you claim to love our line, and then I see you in different journals answering ads for basically the same damn line, and you still haven't responded to our scene? I don't care if you have multiple lines, it's how you're going about it that's bullshit.

And if I brought it up, you'd probably just ghost.

I'm too old for this lack of communication shit.
1 comment|post comment

[08 Apr 2023|04:02am]

you were one of the last people i trusted, but just like everyone else you gave up on me to join her cult. when she stabs you in the back while giving you a were warned and in the process lost a super loyal friend.
2 comments|post comment

[04 Apr 2023|10:53pm]

Finally getting a new laptop is nice.

Realizing how many holds lapsed when the old one was practically a brick is not.
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[31 Mar 2023|08:44pm]

all i wanna know is why i am never good enough to be someone's favourite sl? I put so much time and creativity into shit, try to spoil my slps, am always always down for writing or an extra.

I really thought I found my unicorn slp
2 comments|post comment

[30 Mar 2023|11:34pm]

Getting too invested in a line only to feel like the other half isn't as interested and then being worried you're showing too much interest and will scare them off is the worst. Brain, c'mon. 😂
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[26 Mar 2023|06:59am]
I just wish you wouldnt feel the need to lie.
2 comments|post comment

[16 Mar 2023|05:01pm]

I used to be a halfway decent writer. I was never a popular one in any game or group. I was never cool; in fact, I am more certain than ever that I have always been some degree of cringey. But I used to have it in me to follow through on inspiration if given the opportunity. I used to have it in me to write narratives that, if no one else cared to read them, my storyline partners did and could tell me how those narratives made them feel, which was always wonderful for me. I used to be able to write multiple tags a day and keep scenes/threads going for what felt like ages in the best way. But now, I don't have it anymore. Like, not even a little bit.

Don't get me wrong. I want to be able to capture that magic again. Writing used to make me feel happy and excited. Writing got me through a lot of crappy times in my life since my teens. But being willing and being able are drastically different things, and I can't do the thing I did for so long anymore.

And it's not about the games, the platforms, or the writers. No matter what vents go into this community, and no matter what drama goes down, I would absolutely have a few people to write with. Good writers who love interesting concepts.

It's not them. It really is me.

And it sucks. It sucks so much.
10 comments|post comment

[09 Mar 2023|03:27pm]

your game premise wasn't original. no one stole anything from you that you didn't already borrow from a million other pre-existing concepts apparently steal from someone else. they just took the characters and npcs that they made and left to play them on their own.

that you're still bragging about how you hacked their journal and purged entire scenes of writing from them like a shameless, petulant child would be hilarious if it wasn't so sad. since your sycophants won't say it, let me confirm a hard truth that i'm sure deep-down you already know:

no one did anything to you. your game crashed and burned because you were a crap moderator who drove people out.

and yes, i have receipts.
108 comments|post comment

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