With a bit of dickering, I think I've figured out how to make the image a background one, and how to put the text I want over it in the font, color, and style I want -- the key is, how do I get the background image to "fit" the size I want it to be without doing something convoluted?
If it comes down to it, I can always make it a certain pixel size on my own and re-upload it onto a photo hosting site, I guess, but at the moment, as-is, the image is too large, and when I constrain the pixel width and height, it lops off the image instead of shrinking it to size -- anyone have any suggestions? <3