Wow, that is some dedication to fuckery. Good lawd. Well, my email's tessisamess at the mail of hot, and my AIM is tessisabiiitch, if you wanna talk options.
Also, though, I would suggest bringing up this possible application change to your players, letting them know why you want to do it, and telling them that you're sorry it's come down to this, and you understand it's a hassle and all that good modly shit. Just, you know, so they know they're being taken into account during the problem-solving process.