Re: Shadowcrest: Sam & Louis
"He wouldn't," she said of Cris and coats and socks, and she still thought the guy had too much on his fucking plate with her. "He didn't sign up for all my shit, yeah? It kind of just ended up in his lap, and he's a good guy, and he won't turn me away for anything, but I worry about him." She had no one to talk to about that shit, and she hadn't intended to just dump it on Lou's lap, but the words just kept coming, like she was grateful to get them past her lips and have someone give her an opinion. And, ok, so she wasn't raised with Lou, but they'd gotten close, and it was easy to talk to him, even when he was like some demon god or whatever he was. "He has his kid, yeah? And his wife, and she ran off to some fucking death door too, and he had to rescue her, and he didn't really get to deal with that. He has a bunch of baggage too. His girlfriend when he was young stepped in front of a train when he was standing right the fuck there, and he loved her, and I think he maybe sees some of her in me. But it's not his job to save me, yeah? And I don't want to fuck him up, and I think I already have. You should have seen him yesterday; he was a mess. I fucked Neil up, Lou, and I don't want to fuck Cris up too."
Ok, so that was a lot of words, and Lou said he'd eavesdropped on her long conversation with Neil. Neil, who was also messed up, and she was starting to wonder if anyone was still normal out there. "I had her for Valentine's, her wish, and she wished for him to propose or whatever. I talked to him about it, anon, and it sounded like he wasn't really into it, and I guess the wish made him jones or something," she said guiltily of her execution of Meredith's wish. "IDK, Lou, I have all this fucking bias against her stupid when she was in Vegas last time, but she told me Neil said he loved her first, years ago, yeah? That he asked her out, and all this shit, and that's really aggressive for him, so he must be crazy about her, and you should be supportive, baby. He needs you to be supportive, and he needs me to fucking bother him less." Simple or whatever.
"Hugs I can totes do," she said, a response to his statement that she was good at the hug thing or whatever, but then his gaze darted and he was talking about his shit. Sam wasn't particularly whimsical, despite her youth and exuberance. She knew Santeria from home, yeah? But that wasn't cults, and it wasn't blood or consent or whatever. She hugged herself while he talked, that previous feeling of distance rushing back, like he'd gotten way the fuck ahead of her in something, and she didn't understand it. Like, he wasn't all her brother anymore, some shit like that, and she knew it was kind of true, but it still scared her, and she still hated it. But he said there was hope, and she clung to that or whatever. She clung hard, because she needed something to hold onto. "You think the woman here can fix it?" she asked. Fix it, like it was something that could be glued together, and maybe she was simple, but that was the best way she had of explaining.
He hesitated, and then he was talking about Micah, about what Neil had to do, and what Cris made him do, and the guilt was like a deluge on that faded velvet couch. More confirmation of just how badly she fucked the people she loved. "Cris and Neil both told me, but not about the inhuman thing," she said, and her voice was quiet now, like talking loud about it would make it all grow teeth. She wanted to tell him they'd be ok, Cris and Neil, but she wasn't fucking sure, and it showed on her youthful face, wrecked and worried, and she held onto the blanket tighter. And at the end of it all, Joey was dead. "Why'd he kill Joey?" she asked, swiss cheese memory and holes that were deep enough to hide a body in.