Re: Iris' bedroom "Gray"/Iris
[She had vague, drug-clouded memories of being asked by doctors and nurses years ago if she might be pregnant once she was admitted to the hospital. At some point they'd stopped asking, but their initial overwhelming concern had made too much of an impact for her to ignore now. Especially with the additional memories of future sessions, being told how lucky she was to have avoided that. That the problems with her sight in childhood, her adulthood madness would possibly be genetic. That she would be cursing any child she would have had. How lucky she was that it hadn't come to pass.
Those thoughts were still there, along with years of her own bad choices and all the awful things she'd been a part of doing. It only added to those old opinions, and when her cycle went irregular and then stopped entirely, she hadn't been concerned. It was a good thing if she couldn't bear children.
But now this. Things had finally seemed to settle down (even if she still held the opinion that she didn't deserve any of the good things that had been provided to her - both material and not), and she'd felt more stable than she had in years. But the sudden and overwhelming shock sent her spiraling back to the words of those doctors years ago.
When the knock came, she looked up at the door, and hadn't even found her voice when Gray pushed his way inside the room. She was still hunched over, pen clenched in one hand even though her arms were wrapped tightly around herself. Her eyes were wide, more frightened than they had been for a very long time. She shook her head at him, gaze falling away.]