Re: Hospital: Sam & Loren
He's not a terrorist. [She was slow and not clear, but she knew words, yeah? Terrorists like killed bunches of people in countries or whatever.] He's a sadist or something. But that's not really right. IDK. [She shook her head, and she leaned back against the pillow when he said he had shit to tell her. She wanted to ask, but she didn't want to know, and the uncertainty made her shrink the fuck back, even as her fingers drew some unthinking letters on the back of his hand. The letters corresponded to the shit she was saying, one melting into another, and lulling to her like the scratch of charcoal on paper did.
She shook her head. She wasn't cold. She didn't think she was. The socks were warm, and so was the flannel plaid, and her hair was mostly dry now or whatever. The petichiae on her cheeks made her look flushed, but she was ok. She thought she was ok.
But he said that Micah wasn't going to kill Lou, and she believed that shit. She wanted to mention Cris too, his kid and wife, and the fact that Lou had taken fucking pictures of where Lou worked, and tracing that shit back would be crazy fucking easy. But she didn't want to tell anyone about Cris, yeah? So she just listened about killing roaches and she shook her head, faster and fucking faster, and now it really was panic in her eyes.
She sat forward.] No, no, no- Nuh uh, no. He's different now. Before- Before he gave a shit about pretending he was all fucked up and innocent. Not anymore. Now he says it's my fault he went to fucking jail, and Lou's. He's not the same. He's like- [Ian] He's different. He doesn't fucking care, Loren. He doesn't fucking care. He keeps telling me to shoot up, and he like fucks with my head. He kept messaging me about Meredith, and how Neil was tired of me. He likes to make me say shit. He'd not the same. Don't think he's the same. He's not scared of anything. Not like before, yeah? He's not.
[Her hands were back on the sheets, twist, twist, twist, and she crossed her legs beneath her and rocked a little bit.] No one would get hurt. No one would get hurt, and this shit wouldn't happen again. [She gave him a sad, sad broken look.] I can't do it again.