Re: quicklog, gotham: wayne manor
[Guilt certainly seemed to be a family trait, even though his family wasn't necessarily defined by blood. But this time, this time Bruce was firmly convinced that he was to blame. It wouldn't be easy to shake that certainty. And, in his own condemnation, he sometimes failed to realize that others might feel the same way about themselves. It was one of his shortcomings, one of many.
It wasn't a full lie, him saying he didn't want to sleep, but he paused all the same. Reconsidered.] I couldn't. [Because he knew what he would see, he knew what nightmares waited for him in the darkness. Better to stay awake, he thought. Those words, however, that confession, was easier than what he'd just opened himself up to. Bruce almost regretted saying anything at all, but Alfred wouldn't simply forget.] The first time... [He paused, swallowed down the lump in his throat.] The first time he died. [He couldn't even say Damian's name.] It happened before. I was there then, too. Twice, Alfred. [His voice shook, ever so slightly.] I let him die twice.