Evangeline Sablier is not broken, but please (handlewithcare) wrote in rooms,
Re: Wren H/Evie S
It doesn't matter though, Wren. Not really. If he can't get the hints I'm dropping, even if they're really bad and I'm not as awesome at it as I think I am, that doesn't leave me to bear the entire brunt of responsibility on whether or not he thinks I'm kinda cute.
I understand that taking risks is hard, but I do take risks. I have spent my whole life taking risks. And maybe for a minute, after everything that has happened, I don't want to feel like risking anything let alone everything just because its the only way to succeed. It isn't. It can't be. I'll take a risk again someday, I'll take a ton of them. I know I will. But I'm done for right now, and its time for someone to take some risks for me. Its time for someone else to tell me that I have fancy hair. And maybe that's expecting too much, and selfish, and it means I'm going to be alone forever.
I just want to feel safe and comfortable. And if I always have to drop the hints and the anvils and take the risks and do all the fighting and all loving then how do I know I'm actually important to someone? Someone can fight for my attention for a change. Someone can fall in love with me and talk me into falling in love with them.
I'm sorry I'm stubborn. I'm sorry if this is just awful sounding, I want to be a better person than this, but right now I'm just not.