Luke Henry is cursed to live for (aneternity) wrote in rooms,
Re: [Brandon Shipping]
Luke expected more yelling. Once it had started it didn't seem likely to stop, and he knew he wasn't going to be the one who calmed down first. He could try, but it just wasn't going to happen. As long as there was someone yelling back, anger to meet his anger, he'd keep going. He couldn't tell what Thomas was thinking, not that he ever really could with much certainty, and his shoulders tensed in preparation for whatever was about to be thrown back at him.
But Thomas didn't yell. He didn't say anything, and that was surprising. With nothing to respond to, Luke had nothing to yell back at, and so he was quiet. Dead people showing up, especially his dead people, would have been very, very bad, but he didn't even realize that was a possibility so it wasn't something he worried about. Or even considered, really. He just stood there, and he tried not to look completely confused when Thomas pulled a lighter out of nowhere and lit one of the candles. The rush of warmth was unexpected, and that was when he started wondering about the dead people thing. But there weren't any here, not that he could see, and he didn't ask what the hell that was all about.
Along with yelling, Luke expected to hear more about how everything was his fault, how he expected too much, all that good stuff. And again, it didn't come. "Okay, first off, if I thought you could've made it all better for me I'd be a hell of a lot more pissed off at you than I am now." He could bring his volume down a little, but he couldn't just turn off his anger; still, it was something. "Because that would mean none of it was my fault. It would mean only you could've fixed things. And neither of those things are fucking true. But, okay. You want to know what you could've done." It was easier, somehow, to say things when he was angry. He didn't really think about it, he just spoke.
"You could have taken an interest in my well-being. And if you did, then you could have tried to show it. I get that I wanted to be a part of the vigilante thing, I know I wanted to be treated like a big strong adult and all that, but just-- try to imagine what it was like, okay? I know it's probably really fucking hard for you to do, but try. I was so sure I could handle it, I kept telling myself I could, but it was hard. It was really hard. I was in school, and I was shit at balancing everything-- and then Wren left, and I know you don't get it. I know you don't think it was a big fucking deal, but it was. You need to realize that for me, it was. And I had no one to talk to. I had to just keep going, but it got harder and harder and I didn't know how to tell you no. I didn't know how to tell you anything." Luke stopped, almost abruptly, his forehead creased into a frown. "And before you say it, I'm not trying to make excuses. Explaining? Is not the same. So just fucking don't." Because oh yeah, he was expecting it.