Re: In person: Erik/Charles
[He nodded.] That's when I started using the drug. [Confirmation wasn't necessary, but given that he still occasionally used it when things became a bit much - a fact he had admitted to no one - and he still used it if he was leaving the relative safety of his vast expanse of property in Westchester which was as much of a hide out as it was a home.] I don't know that I have, but it has gotten easier. There is still a lot of pain, mine and others, but there is more than that too. There is always more than pain, even if its buried. [Something he never failed to remind Erik of whatever chance he got. Because if there ever was an example of it, proof positive that nothing was ever just darkness, it was in the man standing next to him.]
Like I used to tell my students, there is nothing wrong with shooting for the stars. [It was a bit whimsical, it was a bit childish, but true.] You don't know if its not possible either, Erik. And you won't until you try. [He didn't know what help he could be, he wanted to be all the help Erik needed. He wanted to be able to guide him on the right path, it was all he wanted for anyone, but Erik and Raven more than anyone else. But he didn't know if he had it in inside of him either. Hope was not easy to come by, he'd found his own, somehow, but he didn't know if he had enough left to risk on Erik. Because that was always a risk.] There was a time I could risk anything for anyone, Erik. Especially you. But the fears you have are not specific to only you. Everyone has them. I have them.
[When he stepped in closer his blue eyes, clear and with a lifetime of experiences both his own and others behind them, stayed on Erik's. He didn't step away, he didn't feel his personal space invaded. He wasn't afraid, and he didn't try and reach inside Erik's mind and pick anything out. He refused to admit that the closeness had been missed, he refused to say out loud everything that he was thinking. He wanted to curse at Erik for ruining absolutely everything, for taking him for granted, for being a selfish prick, for being generally awful. But more than that he wanted to grab him by the god damn shirt collar and shake him until he understood how important he was. How important he was to the world, the things he could do, the people he could inspire, how important he was to Charles and always had been in all the best and worst ways. But he didn't. He just stared at him, and listened to what was being asked of him.]
I haven't given up on you. You should know that by now.
[He waved off the question of his legs, he didn't know what the price was yet. He didn't even have an idea. Well he had an idea, but none of them were even all that feasible given who he was and who the generous benefactor was. There was not a likely partnership there, and more than that he couldn't possibly imagine what use he could be. At all.] Erik, despite all evidence to the contrary, and I'll never admit to saying it so listen carefully, but I think you've paid the price for these legs a hundred times over. You keep yourself in debt more than I ever will. And [there was no need to be coy or dishonest, everyone knew Charles was still angry about what had happened on the beach, the legs were only the tip of that iceberg.] I think we both now that's saying something. So, give yourself a break, because I can't do it just yet. But someone ought to.