stephanie nashton does it all (forthem) wrote in rooms,
Re: eddie/steph - bathtime.
[Steph smiled sadly at him. He was right; it was because it's her fault. Her body failing them.] Would you feel the same way? If it was your body instead of mine? Would you be just as guilty? [Her mouth wriggled into a funny little expression.] See, and that's why I feel even worse, Eddie. Because I was the one who said we couldn't be married until we could have that, and now? I'm the one who can't deliver it. I'm the one who can't make our dreams come true. [And it was clear how much it messed her up. She rubbed her eye with the heel of her hand and sighed shakily. This was the most honest she'd been about this to anyone, especially him, since finding out she wouldn't have children, and it fucking hurt to say it. Like a dagger straight to her chest.]
You always think it's more fun to sneak. [A soft smile that slowly dwindled.] A maybe one day Eddie what? [She regarded him for a second, picking her head up off her knees, and looking directly at him.] Finding another way to make a family? [She bit down hard on her lip, and it was so clear how much it was all hurting her.] I want to be a mom again so badly. And god, baby, I want to see you be a dad. You're going to be an amazing dad. I can't right now. I can't- I can't think about it without getting really sad and feeling pathetic and worthless. You know? [But she offered him a reassuring smile.] But maybe one day, Eddie. One day. It might not be for a long, long time. But one day. Okay?