Re: Selina K/Robert B
You think I dislike you just because I'm arguing with you? Selina, I like you even when I want to scream. Right now, the only reason any of this hurts, is because I like you and I wanted you to trust me. But I don't feel like I can ever be good enough for anyone's expectations at this point. I mean I'm hard on myself, I am really, really hard on myself, and I'm going to be harder on myself until the end of time, but it seems like there's always a down direction. Where everyone's pointing. There is always still more I can hate about myself, and because I like you, agreeable or not, when I think there's something you hate about me too, it's about 100x worse. You used to tell me that you were just waiting for me to hate you, which is hilarious, because people hated me a lot longer and for a lot better reason than you.
I just give up. I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue. I don't want to talk. I just want to get my work done and leave.