Re: Bucky B/Sharon C
He's trying to find reason in all of it because he knows that it is a valid reason. And it is, of course it is. But it's not good enough for the likes of you and me. It's nowhere near good enough because we did the things we did. We still see ourselves doing it. But you're not getting to the crux of what I'm telling you, he has to be allowed to process this the best he can, and you have to be willing to correct him when he's wrong about you. It's hard, but you have to. Even if it seems like he'll never get it. You don't need to be saved, Bucky. But you need to be firm in saying so. But you can be firm in saying so without forcing your best friend to punish you too. You are very different men, and you always have been. But those differences work for you, not always against you. You two have a lot of catching up to do. Don't deny him that based on a couple of "easy win" statements he throws out, he doesn't know that you and me have heard a million times and are sick of the sound.
[Pause while she reads over his last paragraph. Just giving him a minute to breathe - and herself as well]
Take a deep breath and focus on one thing at a time, you're going down a god damn rabbit hole of what ifs here. And it isn't productive. Keep focused on one thing. And for now, that thing should be that whatever happened is over. You know exactly what happened, and you know not to do it again. Your mind is a dangerous place, Bucky. There's no denying that, but so is mine. And you know Natasha's is too, you don't have to spring it all on her, but don't shut her out. Let her in to see what you're ready for her to see.
We all have parts of us we can't reconcile. We all have blood on our hands and we don't have to be okay with it. I'm not. The blood that's on my hands, Bucky...Even in this place there is absolutely no atoning for it. But I'm getting by knowing that you've got my back. And I'm working on Natasha little by little. And I'm smiling and nodding at Steve. And I'm just getting through the hard shit because I want to be at my best for you. And Natasha. And Steve. Because you have all worked really hard more than once to be at your best for me. Maybe you have a dangerous mind, and maybe taking some kind of memory wipe had a different effect on you because of everything you've been through. But you have the capacity to move beyond that. You aren't a monster, Buck. You never have been. This isn't something innate that's inside of you. It takes a certain kind of person to do what we do. We aren't generally cuddly, but we aren't fucking robots, man.