Re: Bucky B/Sharon C
He doesn't get it. I tried to explain it and he kept saying over and over it wasn't my fault. This is before the hotel fuck up. He finally met his Winter Soldier, and I tried to tell him that I remember all of it. I experienced it. It might not be my choice, but I still remember it being done by my own hands. Going "well you had no free will" isn't going to make it feel any better, you understand that, but he doesn't. He's still too new to all this shit, he doesn't want to see his best friend that way, he wants to imagine him as a helpless victim. Someone to save.
I killed two girls and I remember enjoying it. I think a part of me was legitimately in there, Carter. It was more me than the Winter Soldier typically was. I had sex with one of them knowing I was going to kill her, and I had fun. How many people are going to swallow a memory wipe and immediately turn around to become a serial killer? They probably were more like zombies.
Whoever was in my body killed too, and it was probably because of my damn body. Because I'm a killer, I was a killer before the Russians got me, remember? Cap's sidekick who did covert ops on the side, he never knew just how dark it got, because he's Cap and we wanted to protect him. The one here, he kept asking me what kind of missions I did when I was a teenager, and I couldn't tell him. Tasha doesn't even remember what we had, if we had it together, I still don't know if we do. She doesn't know the darkest parts of me yet, she hasn't fallen in love with that man, I can't just spring this shit on her. She's gone through enough.