Re: Perusing memories
It was only extreme luck right now that kept him from falling apart. Or experience. Long, exhausting, painful experience. He wanted to curl up in a corner somewhere and plug up his ears, shake in a fetal position, pray it would all be over soon. That was one way of going about it, but he was positive that if he chose that path, anyone who walked up to him would be dead. He knew death. He'd given it to many people before. Part of him craved it still, something that he could never shake off. This was a dangerous spot for him to be in.
"Salad. Maybe you could stomach salad. Soup or some shit like that. Why would anyone do that to themselves if they didn't have to?" He assumed she had the option otherwise, because she otherwise seemed fine. Delicate. Pretty. If you liked that kind of thing. He preferred women with strength and sass, his equal. At the same time, her fragile state at the moment was keeping him from losing it. His senses weren't telling him she was a threat. She was too weak to be a threat. She didn't smell like fear, either, he couldn't feed off it. If anyone tried to get into their space right now, he would kill them. To protect her, to protect himself, to stake claim and territory. Fuck, this was not good.
"No one knows who they are, not really. Not until they're forced to see their worst." It was a subject particularly painful to him recently. "Sometimes I want all my memories, every last one of them, the bad and the good. Other times I don't. I wish it was all gone." She was a stranger and he was in a stranger's body, so he could say things, he could let it go. He put his hands shakily on the counter and his fingers tightened until it started to crack. He was strong, he could keep tightening it until it splintered, and then tear into the nearest thing. "If you started over, from scratch, none of it would matter, would it? You wouldn't know what you lost. Only what you got."