Re: Sam A/Penny R
I wasn't up to his standards, I mean. It was...An awful experience.
I know, I know that. And sometimes people don't want to be fixed, or can't be fixed. Or shouldn't have to be fixed. Because there is nothing wrong with them, you get it? I know that everyone has situations that are beyond the comprehension of others. I provided healthcare to women in Africa where they were literally being sold and raped and mutilated on a regular basis, and I had a price on my head for it.
Those women were some of the strongest I've ever met, but once they understood that there was some help available or someone to just listen to them, and take their side it did make a difference, Sam. And yes, there were some who refused, and I accepted that, as hard as it was. I didn't take that personally. It just hurt in a way that I wished I could have done more. I always wish I could do more. I ain't saying I'm some saint who is here to save the world. I'm not, but I am here if people want help. I don't push it on people, I don't force the issue, I got boundaries. But if the world doesn't help each other, if we don't at least put a hand out to people, then what are we even doing here? I know I can put my hand out, and it's up to people to take it, I get that part. But I see that every day with the people who don't know me right?
But with the people who do, with the people I love, I just would think that they'd understand I'm not trying to think I know better than them, that I just want to be there. That's all. Someone in their corner. To take their side. Because I know what it feels like to have no one on your side, not to the extent of what I've seen around the world, believe me. I've had some struggles, hard times, traumatic times, but I've seen real struggle too.
I can wait on Cris until the end of days, I'm happy to. But sometimes I just like to remind him I'm around. In case he forgets.
I can help me alright, I don't even know what I need help with to be honest, I ain't in any trouble, I got everything I need other than my head screwed on right.