Re: Sam A/Penny R
I didn't pretend, I just pocketed it, you know? I'm sorry it came off that way.
It's me, he doesn't have to be ashamed with me, and I thought he'd know that after all these years.
[...] You asked me what was making me sad. Outside of my friendship with Cris. I said what was making me sad was my stumbling. Every time I turn around people are asking me questions and then not liking how I answer. I'm not trying to be a martyr, I don't feel like a martyr. I just feel lost, I'm allowed to feel that way. Except when I express it, and I'm told I've got no reason to.
I wasn't scared, I'm not scared of him. I never could be, I've spent months being scared for him. I just meant he got angry, and I thought he was gonna lose it. I didn't actually think he'd hurt me. You know? Besides, I could totally kick his ass.
[...]
After he got whisked away here, I didn't know where he was, I panicked, I worried. He and his little girl were gone. I spent all my time looking for him. Olivia got mad, said he had clearly just gone looney. And she hated I kept sticking up for him.
Then I got stuck here. He talked me into calling her. It didn't go well, especially when I mentioned him, she didn't believe I was here, she thought I'd gone off on his tail. It's real complicated and dumb. But regardless, she wasn't happy. She doesn't understand that I'm not here on my own, but she hated I was here and so was he. And I didn't do myself any favors calling her half crazy myself.
He always tells me what I need to do to feel better, and I do it, and you know it never works, but I do try. Because I have faith in him. And I don't have any answers, so I'm always willing to try something. Even if I fight it, I try it, so when or if it don't work, and I go back and say it didn't, I get told I did it wrong. And not just by him.