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[She'd let it go too long, yeah? She'd let it go too long. She should have found a hit earlier, but she thought she could do it. She thought she could hold out, and it was too late by the time she got desperate enough to give in. And it wasn't like Sam didn't know that song and dance, yeah? She knew. She fucking knew, but she always forgot. She always convinced herself she could do it, yeah? That she was strong enough to fucking do it, like willpower was enough or something, and she fucking hated herself for it.
Cris scooped her up, led her to the door, told her to go hide in the bathroom, and Sam didn't get it. She expected him to be like Lou, yeah? Lock her somewhere, make her dry out, but he was offering morphine, and she hadn't thought of that. Stupid, or whatever, but she hadn't thought of it, and she looked at him, twitch and surprise. But she didn't argue, yeah? Maybe that made her an asshole, but she didn't argue. It was right there, offered, and she couldn't make her tongue twist to tell him no. She nodded, but she did hesitate for a second.
Long enough to walk to the bed, her hands unsteady as she touched Meredith's hand light. She couldn't surprise her or anything, Sam, because her gait was unsteady-loud with her increasing tremors, and it was like her body gave up resisting with the money burning a hole in her pocket.] Hey. We'll find out when you get out. Ok? We'll go home. We'll get a nurse to come out. Whatever. You aren't going to be alone. I promise. [She meant it. Because she got it, yeah? She knew what it was like to love Neil Donovan, and to not have him be there. She got it. Even as Meredith rolled onto her side, Sam got it.]