Re: Louis D/Cris M
[Ay Dios.] She hasn't given up. She's having a hard time. Your sister don't give up. But you stressing her out, don't help her. I never said you ain't good enough to talk to her, so don't put words in my mouth cause you're pissy. I just said you're no good at it, which is true. You get wound up and snap on people and you can't do that. You scream the word rape in fronta her and you can't tell it's triggering her. You get me? You think it's about you, Lou. You're getting offended, but it's about Sam. You're not the only one worried about her, even though I know you think you are. But, Lou, you don't get to pick what to do with her cause it'd make you feel better. Maybe she'll survive in some facility somewhere you pressure her into going, but THAT is what will take her will to live. Survival and living ain't the same thing. You want her to carry on, miserable, in some box, so long as she's breathing. That'd kill her. You get that? You seen people like that? It's fucking heartbreaking. Your sister's got life in her, so don't give up on her either, huh? She's trying hard to stay clean. Real hard. She needs your support, not you telling her you need her to do better at taking carea herself, cause it ain't about you. It ain't about what you want or what you need. I know you care. You care a lot. You're a good brother and she looks up to you and she needs you, but not like this. Trust me, huh? I did this before. Not just the drug thing, but I got her to submit before, once I hounded her and hounded her bout her living arrangements before til she just said whatever it was I wanted to hear, so the pressure would ease off, cause she sucks at dealing with that. And it only made it worse. It still affects her, what I did. I messed up big time and I'm trying to help you get it, but you wanna get offended at everything I say, like I'm sitting here trying to hurt you from go, when I ain't, I can't stop you, huh?
But I know addicts too, huh? Sisters, friends. I know this looks bad to you, but she's not doing that bad. She really ain't. She has people she tries to stay clean for. She's trying to go to her docs, take her meds, get back on schedule. She's gonna stumble and she's gonna fall off the wagon, and you rubbing it in her face, it's not gonna help. I know you think that's the only way to keep her from doing it again, but that's not how it works. I know you think it's enabling her, but that also ain't how it works. And somebody like Sam? Somebody who's had all their choices taken from them, starting with being married off to some guy almost three times her age, then being traumatized over and over in somea the worst ways possible, who's sick now which ekes away even morea the little control she feels she's got over her life and what she wants—you gotta empower her. Not strip her down to the word Junkie, like that's all she is. She's not. I know you know that, but sometimes people gotta be reminded. I'm telling you you're looking at it wrong. You love her and wanna help, it don't mean you won't suffocate her. And poking holes inna box, that's not good enough. She's gotta get there and you gotta let her. All we can do is try to steer her clear, support her when she messes up, and try and remind her and ourselves it ain't the enda the world if she does.