Re: Call: Sam A/Cris M
[Pleading.] It's not like that. That's not what I meant. 'Bout Lou and everybody. I don't need you to do nothin'. I know I'm a fuck-up, I know, I know—and I feel—just—weak today, but I don't need—but I can deal with them, huh? That's not what I meant. I felt like I was over here tryin' to do this thing with Liam, and everybody's askin' me what's goin' on, panicking, and I get it, but maybe I'm tense, and Lou thinks it's about him. He thinks he's the only one who cares right 'bout you and he's throwin' all this stuff in my face, but all he wants is to box you up. And then Neil wants to know, hey, Cris, lemme know..., but I couldn't help but feel like he was prolly talkin' to you somewhere, makin' you feel better than I—than—, and I know I gotta be okay with it, but it just—I didn't wanna talk to him then. And I said stupid stuff and he won't—so then I feel worse, and Trystan. I dunno. We're not friends, nena. I know you didn't say nothin' wrong. Lo sé. What he said pissed me off, callin' you a cunt, 'cause nobody should talk 'bout anybody like that, let alone you. You ain't. And I—I know my first response can't be to wanna curbstomp somebody, but it's there, in me, and I'm tryin' to follow my anger stuff, but I need you to get, mami, I don't want nothin' from him. I don't care. I want you. I know you think it ain't fair, and maybe I'm selfish. I don't want you to stop bein' friends with people 'causea me, but I dunno that I'd—but I yell at 'em anyway, so how much can I actually care? I'm just selfish, 'cause as long as you like me, huh? But you won't say nothin' 'bout him, and it's like with Ash, but you don't get it and I can't explain it right. And, 'course I'm scared. That was you a couple days ago and I just—[His voice finally cracks. Patético.]—Y empecé a pensar, no sé qué haría, si no estuvieras aquí. Then I feel bad, 'cause somethin's gotta be wrong with me, to make everything 'bout how I'd feel and I wanna just—[He goes quiet, quiet.] Realmente desearía que estuvieras aquí. Lo siento.